Feminists and Pagans made my radiator blow up

I could talk about how shitty my week has gone.

I could tell you that my radiator blew up yesterday in my un-inspected car a day after I got a $60 ticket for not having it inspected. I could tell you I have no car now.

I could tell you that I don't give a shit right and that would be the truth. It is Friday and as everyone knows I love Friday's because its pay day and because for 48 hours I don't have to do shit if I do not want too. Nothing except drink, eat and sleep.

There are some other things bothering me right now. You see, everyday I listen to talk radio from all across the country. I listen to the Left, the Right and the middle. You learn a lot about people, political parties and religion and the impacts these things on our country. You also learn about the power of the lie.

Let us talk about the right and the neo-cons and how fucking stupid and full of shit all these brainless, bible thumping jack-asses are. I apologize for the vulgarity but they make me so mad. Their level of ignorance is unequaled. Please don't get me wrong. I do not think all religious folk or Republicans are stupid. I know quite a few wonderful people of faith and even a couple of Republicans who are not all that bad. It's the Neo-Conservative hardcore ilk like the following that make the bile rise up in my throat everytime I see or hear them.

First I bring you Pat Robertson. Bible Humper, TV Host of the 700 club, racist and all around moron. A man with huge influence in the Republican party only because he can deliver millions of votes by just telling his audience "Jesus told him so" on national TV. On Aug. 22nd he said QUOTE "..Chavez was back in power, but we had a chance to move in. He has destroyed the Venezuelan economy, and he's going to make that a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent. You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war."

Ok, so he said on national TV that we should murder the President of a South American country. Well that started quite a ruckus since A: If you are a high profile guy you should not advocate murdering a world leader and B: Christians were kinda bothered cuz Jesus said something like "turn the other cheek" or some such nonsense involving violence. Then there is some commandment or something about "though shall not kill". You know the saying that Robertson quotes every time he speaks out on abortion. Robertson was surprised that his statement garnered so much attention. After all it wasn't a breast flashed at the Super Bowl or "Shit" being uttered on NYPD Blue. He only said we should murder some guy. What's the big deal? We already let him get away with it when he said "feminism" was QUOTE: "socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."
And of course his famous Sept. 11th comments, saying the attacks were caused by QUOTE: "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU and the People for the American Way."

Pat's a real smart guy. So now he thinks we should kill this Chavez guy. So he tells his millions of viewers, yes even the ones watching on ABC FAMILY that we should kill this guy. Well I think some people got offended. Personally, I didn't. I mean I don't listen to anyone who claims God talks to him. Unless your name is Jesus you are a friggin loony if you claim God talks to you. Pat Robertson is a loony, a liar, a racist, and a complete waste of carbon and water. So this morning he claims the "AP misquoted him" and even right wing ass boy Sean Hannity said "Robertson caused a bit of a media firestorm this week when he advocated, some say, the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez." Some say Sean??? Where the hell did you go to school kid??? Oh and where did Hannity say this. If you guessed Fox News you would be right. Get it? Right!? Sorry...but Robertson did say it Sean. Again QUOTE: "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war."
Got it this time?? FINALLY Robertson apologized later in the day after he claimed to have never used the word "assasination" at all.
Quote: "Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him."

Ok, no big deal then right? Well It is actually. For all the shit storms these kind of people start because of swear words and a tit on TV I think its time for some payback. I have already filed a complaint with the FCC and sent a letter to ABC Family. Ok, I filed like 20 complaints with the FCC but that is only because I need to make sure they react and I wanted to use the same tactic the religious right does when they complain about a South Park episode. I want Robertson sued just like they did with Howard Stern and NBC Etc. I was extrememly offended, I mean I was near tears...(chuckle)....

Let the FCC know what you think @ fccinfo@fcc.gov

Now most us know Bill Orielly, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. They are the top three right wing mouthpieces. Their lies and total dedication to misinformation and rabble rousing is incredible. They will call you a commie traitor for speaking out against your President, a murderer for being pro-choice and they think Hillary Clinton is the second coming of Satan. Ok, maybe they have that last one right. Unfortunatey these guys have nothing bad to say about President Bush AT ALL. They never waiver in their support. Bush could fall down drunk at a dinner, piss on Condy Rice's leg and Hannity would claim that the Left spiked his punch and that a Democrat put that rug there for him to trip. Im not exaggerating. Orielly lies at least twice a day, Hannity is just an ignorant yes-man and Limbaugh, well Rush gained some support when I found out he liked pain pills as much as the next guy. Too bad he couldn't just come out and say he liked to get high once in a while. You see the right lets their peeps off no matter what. Rush was doing illegal drugs, Nixon was a criminal, a racist and a murder, O'rielly is a pervert and Ann Coulter has a smelly vagina. Yet they all get a pass? Clinton gets head, Al Gore is boring and John Kerry is..ok boring and ugly. Yet these people are Satan's spawn?? They ruined or would have ruined our country?? Shit, thank god Bush was elected again, could you imagine how bad the country would be if Gore or Kerry were running the show? Or God forbid a Clinton!!!?? Shit, gas prices would be through the roof, support for the war would be at an all time low and the Presidents approval rating would be spiraling downward! oh wait a minute. That is all happening right now. Thanks again Ohio. You have been re-named the dumb fuck state. What the hell is a buckeye anyway??

You ever listen to the President speak? We all know his grasp of the English languge is seriously lacking but that joke is getting old. Have you ever really listened?? He constantly repeats himself. When he talks about the Iraq war now it is so tired and fake that no one even cares. "Stay the course..", "We will defeat the terrorists...", "Stay until the job is done...." "Freedom for the Iraq people....." Blah fuckin blah. I used to listen to any sitting President when he spoke at a press conference or a radio address. I honestly don't even bother with Bush anymore. We thought Gore and Kerry were boring?? Bush is like a damn puppet with Karl Rove pulling the strings. It's disgusting. I know I have said it before but this country is in desperate need of a third party. What do you say Lord Duke? Should we re-start the Freak Power ticket in 2008???

I am all for it!

(one hour later)

I just got of the phone with Duke and though I did not mention any political aspirations I think he came up with a good idea for the both of us. An interesting idea for the near future.Once we get the details sorted out we will let you all know. We said the torch has been passed and we aint kidding.

Okay, 4 hours to go. Take care and remember to always speak your mind. Unless of course you are a jack ass like Pat Robertson.

That's enough of my gibberish. Have a swell weekend ya'll.

P.S-Pat Robertsons real name is Marion. teehee

-J

Jinxed!

haha! I told you so! After running my gums about how I haven't been pulled over in my un-inspected car BAM! I get popped in Boscawen NH of course! Anyone that lives in Central NH knows all about Boscawen and their Pigs.

ANYONE that has lived in the Franklin, Tilton, Penacook area has been stopped by them. The funny thing is the bastard stopped me a mile into FRANKLIN not Boscawen. Can they do that? He even wrote Boscawen on the ticket? I may fight that one.

Oh well, its my fault for not inspecting my car.

Its almost the end of the week.

Fuck it.

Curt Shilling returns to the mound tonight for the Red Sox. Will he be up to the task?


blah blah I'm bored.


Ok, I'm going to lunch now.


Bye.

Ramblings, observations and random silliness

Its hard. It really is man. You see I just had a wonderful weekend. It was quiet and relaxing. Jess and I had a great time and really enjoyed doing nothing. Except for Saturday night when we geared up for Hunter's big blastoff and of course Lord Duke came through with the phone call that I never doubted! You can read about Dukes final 2 days in Colorado here but of course you should be visiting jigglebox.com often anyway!! That's all over and done with now though. As I said in my last post "the torch has been passed".

Back to what I meant by shit being hard. So I have been on very thin ice here at work. Even contemplating quitting and finding a new job since the inevitable is bound to happen eventually. Well I bucked up and completed a long hard week even pulling a long day on Friday to finish up some important work. So maybe I could pull it together after all. Well it turns out I screwed up some dates on some work I entered Friday and have to fix a bunch of shit. This pisses me off. I'm sick of it. I am sick of fucking up and I am sick of caring. How can you put effort into something you don't give a shit about?? The sorry thing is I did put effort into it! A hell of a lot of effort, nearly 10 straight hours of fuckin effort. You see kids, this means you are not cut out for the work you are doing. Either you cant do it or subconsciously you don't care about it. Either way its getting harder and harder to deal with. I am also sick of wasting space here on my blog bitching about my job and my life. I must be boring the shit out of my 4 readers. Well fuck it. No more crap about me unless its interesting. And fuck this job too. I'm so pissed right now I am ready to walk out.

Grrrr I am angry. Nothing like a fucking buzzkill on a Tuesday morning.
I need to carry my special"feel good kit" with me at all times for occasions such as these where I need a "pick me up" or a "lay me down" as we say in the business. Woot!
What am I talking about!! Not much I guess.
I need a new direction goddamnit!
Winter is coming! I fucking hate winter!! Aaaag! I get so bummed when its cold and gray outside. I was definitely made for the western or southern climates.
I need to make tons of money soon so I can pay off my debts and high tail it outta here for the winter.
Maybe I will sell my sperm or my blood or both!
Can you sell body parts before you are done with them?

all I know is...

I am proud of my cousin, long live Lord Duke!

I love Jess, at 2 am on Saturday she thought to toast Hunter and Duke and I and I love her for even thinking of something like that!

I need to make money and fast! Whatever I need to do! Anyone wanna be my sugar mommy?

I suck at my job! Please lay me off so I can collect! Pleaaaase!!

or

May a ceiling tile fall from the roof above my desk and rip my ear from my head! Can you say out of court settlement? Hoorah!


Fear not beefloggers, I am not losing it. Just getting ansy is all. I am in need of a change, a new beginning. The body grows older but the soul is still energized! Now if only I could get up in the morning. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

P.S-Lady luck shines on me! I have been driving my uninspected car over 20 miles a day to and from work. I have passed many cops and have not been stopped yet! Of course now that I have told everyone I will be stopped the second I leave work today. That's just my luck.

P.S.S-At least Football season is almost here and the Red Sox are still in first place!

P.S.S.S-Ummm .. well that's about it I guess. Oh yeah Here is a word association game, gather around the kids and play:

Gas

Milk

Gas

Milk


Iraq

Vietnam

Iraq

Vietnam

May Cindy Sheehan sodomize President Bush with her dead sons m-16.

mahalo


-grabby J

Farewell good Dr.

Mr. Tambourine man played as the crowd roared. 10 minutes ago Hunter Thompson's ashes were fired into the Colorado sky over Owl Farm. The gonzo fist shown bright against the clouds like a crazy version of the Bat Signal. Thanks to Lord Duke, my faithful cousin and my mentor for bringing it all to me live via cell phone, allowing me to live it as if I was standing there in Woody Creek beside him.

Farewell good Dr, you will be missed.

You did it cuz. Now the torch has been passed.

Its our time now.


Dr.Gonzo

Aug 20th 11:15 EST

Lord Duke and Dr.Gonzo circa July 2002 (Yes we are driving, and fast!)

My concession speech

I am pathetic.

and its over.

It’s been an extremely long week. Very taxing on my already feeble and tired mind. I feel as though the devil and an angel have been fist fighting between my ears and all I can hear through the commotion is someone that sounds a lot like Johnny Depp saying “buy the ticket, take the ride!” It’s not really a good or evil thing and I don’t even have to buy the ticket. It’s already bought and paid for. All I need to do is get on that plane and go. There is nothing more I want at this moment then to do this. So why don’t I? It will be an extraordinary adventure, a wondrous Gonzo trip out west where my cousin and I will surely give Hunter a send off worthy of a god. Lord Duke is incredibly excited to see me and for once we are inches away from actually getting to together for a planned adventure.

So Close.

So what is stopping me from going? When I first found out about the trip I said, right here on the beeflog that I would be going no matter what. Damn the torpedo’s and fuck em. I will be there. Well guilt has a funny way of weighing you down and stopping someone dead in their tracks. And yesterday I fell in quicksand. Yes, if I go I will certainly lose my job. Then my already growing debt will spiral out of control. No not to Visa or Ma Bell. Fuck all them. No corporate swine will ever keep me from doing what I want. No you see I owe family money. And by going away and losing my job will bring trouble my way and unfortunately trouble to some loved ones as well. So I am stuck. Stuck here to continue being miserable but god damn it I will have a job. For now anyway. I feel it’s not going to last long. So what’s the point? See! There goes the fight again! So I tried to change the times of my flights which would have screwed up the plan but at least allow me to leave after work on Friday. Sure enough there was a flight available. For a mere $200 more that is. At that point I gave up. Then this morning I received a wonderful and funny voice mail from my cousin and his friends in which they drunkenly yet sincerely serenaded me to come out west! “Take the ride!!”


I’m ashamed of myself. I am ashamed that due to predicaments that are totally my fault and that I have put myself in I am unable to join my cousin. It angers me to no end. I am making it my goal to NEVER be tied down to anything again. What I mean by this is that at the drop of a hat I want to be able to up and move. Take a trip, hike a mountain, or go to the beach. This would be considered a fairy tale life to most. Lord Duke has been doing it for over 20 years and he’s no fairy. God bless him.

Today in Aspen Colorado my cousin is meeting with an important person. Someone that may even be able to get him into Thompson’s memorial. Duke tells me last night, “If we both don’t get in then neither of us go!”. I wanted to tear my eyeballs out. I hope to god he gets in. I don’t want my indecisiveness to fuck up his chances. I know he had no intention of leaving me out. Unfortunately I have left myself out. This is really starting to bother me know. In or out it would have been a great time.

So my beloved Jessica, who has supported me during my current mental episodes even, supported the trip which would have meant her supporting me when I got back. She is a sweetheart even if she gave me an odd look when I told her I was building a 15ft gonzo fist in my backyard on Saturday night and planned on blowing it up with fireworks.
“Whatever works for you hun. “ she said.

So that is where I will be. Alone in the dark with my handmade fist alight, my one sole Gonzo Imperial Porter* in my hand, reading aloud from Thompson’s work. But somewhere inside I will know that I am missing out on what could have been the greatest adventure of my dull life. At least I will be warmed by the fact that Lord Duke, my cousin and friend will be there, channeling the ghost of Thompson and doing what he does best. Living in the moment and stopping the living fuck out of the terra.

Thank you cuz and I am truly sorry.


Dr.Gonzo

*Duke was kind enough to send me a full one. He has a case of the special brew ready in Colorado. I should have been there to share it with him.

An open letter to the faithfull beefloggers

Hey, sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I stayed home in bed nursing my hangover from Wendy and Jessie’s wedding. Probably not a good idea but more about that later. First off, Wendy and Jessie’s wedding was wonderful. It was really a good time. The room Dennis, Shawn, Jessica and I had was really nice. It ended up being the hang out after the reception since it was the biggest suite there and it had a nice balcony overlooking the mountains. The ceremony was very short and sweet. The reception was nice except for the fact that it was hotter than hell thanks to a really shitty AC system. Oh and the bar was horrendous. I mean worse than horrendous. Of course none of this was Wendy and Jessie’s fault it was The Gunstock Inn’s fault. Still everything went well and we ended up partying in our room until about 5am. I don’t remember much after 3am except bringing Jesse back to his room on a luggage cart and then listening to Shawn and Dennis dragging another cart down three flights of stairs. I think I remember pushing Shawn and two girls we found in the lobby down a hallway where they crashed into a wall. Not sure how we didn’t get kicked out and not sure why these 2 girls were sleeping in the lobby. Unfortunatley for Dennis and Shawn I think they were about 14. I know we drank all of the booze we brought (which was a lot) and got yelled at for bringing it back into the reception like everyone else was doing because the bar inside was horrible. This is how bad they were at the bar:

“Can I have a Jim Bean and Ginger ale please?”
“We don’t have any Ginger Ale.”
“Um ok, How about a Jim beam and Cola?”
“We don’t have Jim Beam.”
“Jack Daniels?”
“Nope.”
“How about a Black Label and Sprite?”
“Um..ok.”

Black Label and Sprite suck ass. They got so bad that towards the end of the night they were serving WARM beer. So most guests said fuck it and started bringing back their own from their rooms. Then around 1:00 am they made an announcement about how we cannot bring in outside booze etc..thanks to the fact that Shawn tried to bring in a Corona. They noticed that right away. How? Because they didn’t have Corona at the bar, or Hieniken, Or Amstel Light or………

Enough bitching though. So Jesse and Wendy are in the Dominican Republic right now. Soaking up some sun and surely being served some nice COLD Coronas. They deserve it all. I have some great photos though most may never be seen because though I looked pretty damn sharp in my new clothes my bloated pale head still gives me the creeps when I see it in photos. In the mirror its not too bad but take a picture? Scary. I only hope it not as bad in real life and you all havent just been nice to me all these years.

So I was tired yesterday but more than anything my room was a mess and I hadn’t put anything away from the wedding. I have a low grade of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) so it’s really hard for me to accomplish anything if everything is a mess and my stuff isn’t where it should be. Let’s just say spontaneity isn’t really part of my vocabulary. I am sure this has cost me some great adventures in the past. Anyway after I awoke at 8am (oops) and took one look at my stuff strewn around my bedroom I gave in. I retired to my throne for an early morning exorcism (insert image here) then went back to bed. I am very naughty and incredibly stupid sometimes. Jess of course got up at 4am and went to work. How I miss the fortitude of youth.

These are all just stupid excuses even though true. I’m surprised to still be working here and typing these words. I drove my uninspected car through the cover of Fog here this morning. I hope I can make it home without getting stopped. Someone from Corporate just called to bitch at me for not sending some paperwork down. Hey I can only send what I fuckin have okay???
Bloodsuckers. In three days I am supposed to be on a flight to Colorado. How on earth am I going to do that?

While we are pondering impossibilities I watched Oliver Stones “Alexander” on Sunday as I nursed my hangover. Though not an epic by any stretch I enjoyed it and thought most critics were a little too harsh on it. Either way Alexander was quite the character and his accomplishments are unmatched. There is one scene in India where Alexander leads a cavalry charge against the enemy who are riding giant War Elephants, a sight I could not imagine seeing especially in that time. His weary troops are being routed and Alexander knows this may be the end. So he charges. Stone slows down time and Alexander and his horse rear up as does the Elephant in front of him. It is the perfect shot, we have seen this picture in a carving or a statue before but for an instant you feel nothing but awe and wonderment for this man, this conqueror of lands who rides headlong into certain death if only to rouse his troops in battle. I would give anything to inspire people in this way. I think sometimes we just need to find the right thing to do. We need to inspire ourselves first. I am still looking for this and it is an endless quest so far.

Lord Duke has fallen also. Not against any war elephants though. My cousin who began his quest to hike the CDT is finished. After losing both his hiking partners, twisting an ankle and fighting with some faulty equipment he is off the trail for good. I don’t blame him a bit. He tells us on jigglebox.com:
I've been on the CDT for over ONE MONTH NOW! My original partner, Big Stick, was sucked thru a wormhole into Deep Space carrying about $800 of sponsored gear with him. Not a bad haul for hiking a total of two days. Hooray Big Stick and thanks for all the cards and letters. My second partner, Blister Sister, was a great friend & guide, but now she, too, has gone home to New England. It appears the ankle I twisted into a black and blue softball-sized clubbed-foot the week before I began hiking is more than just a sprain. The pain never let up, but stubborn I walked on. And on. And on. After resting a week with art car friends, I set out again over some of the most beautiful terrain on my journey, literally stomping the terra along the very top of the Divide for days. It was stunning and daunting. I got lost, fell and broke my glasses, climbed to the highest peak I think I've ever climbed, and didn't see another hiker soul for a solid week. With Thompson's memorial just days away now, I was forced to beeline south, bushwacking, trespassing, and basically tear-assing thru, around and over every order of flora, fauna, swamp and mountaintop with naught but my compass as my guide. I hit the I-70 yesterday and the one-saloon town of Empire, and good friend Nick came to collect my bloody remains and carry me "home" to Leadville. The late Doctor Gonzo has taken possession of my physical body, and we are presently under heavy sedation in an undisclosed location somewhere north of Antarctica.Thank you all again for your support! And thank you Autumn!-Peregrine jack

And now I am supposed to join him in three days. I want nothing more than to do this. I have the ticket he got me but no way to Logan Airport. The other person in my Dept. has already taken this Friday off (way before I knew about my trip) so if I am not here on Friday I will surely be unemployed. But do I truly care? I mean I do but I am hanging by a thread as it is and have no legal transportation anymore. The other person in my Dept. is starting to dislike me due to my attendance and overall fuck ups. Am I making excuses? Am I going crazy again? No. Actually I am quite calm as I sit here. So I reach out to my friends, my family, to ghosts, to Alexander to guide me. Tell me what to do. Where do we go from here?

In 60 hours do I ride against the Elephants? Or do I turn tail, run and live to fight another day?

You tell me.


J

..some more stuff

It’s a double dose today on this muggy August 12th. My last post was my beef and now I am just going to bullshit a while.

Tomorrow two of my good friends are getting married. They have been dating for 7 years or more I think and living together for half of that. I know it’s been quite a while. They have no children, are in their late 20’s and just purchased a nice 2 story home. Jesse is an electrician and Wendy just recently became an accountant, finishing up her schooling. They are in every way a good example of what hard work and dedication can do for an American couple. I am extremely envious to say the least. But it’s a good feeling, far from jealousy since that puts it into the category of “I wish it was me instead of them” and that quite simply is shitty. I don’t wish it was me instead of them I wish it was me also. They have worked hard for what they have and I can’t say I worked too hard over the years. Their relationship is also extremely rare; it’s the type of one I have been searching for since I can remember. I think they are the rare type of couple who actually found their soul mates if any such silly thing actually exists. They are so totally different yet the same in a lot of ways. Jesse has gotten smarter and wiser over the years, learning from past mistakes and not repeating the bad ones. Same for Wendy except she has grown even more beautiful and womanly then ever, something that most men may find threatening but not Jessie. He knows he doesn’t have a damn thing to worry about. Not that he would ever let his guard down or start to take her for granted but when you’re around them you just know it’s for real. If you knew them as well as I do you would agree whole heartedly. Like them most of us 30 something’s have had our fun in the sun. The drug binges, the one night stands and the drunken debauchery. Now its time for them to settle down and carve out their piece of the pie. So it is with great pleasure that I attend their nuptials tomorrow night and I have nothing but admiration and joy for them. Truly a good example of the American dream. Some of us find it, some of us won’t and some of us don’t even try. Either way I believe it’s out there for all of us in some form or another. They found theirs and I wish them all the best.

Will we find ours?


Still searching,
justin

First We Beef...

Mitchell Johnson is a free man today. 7 years ago he and his best friend went into their middle school in Jonesboro Arkansas and pulled a fire alarm. As their teachers and fellow classmates came out the front doors they were shot down like animals, left to bleed to death in the morning sun. Four young students and a teacher died that day. Mitchell Johnson was 13 years old. He is now 21 and a free man. His criminal record is wiped clean. He can go into Wal-Mart as I type this and purchase a firearm. Neither Johnson nor his accomplice (who will be free in 2007) have ever expressed remorse or given any explanation for their crimes. This is all true.

In 1994 Damien Echols was convicted of murdering three young boys in West Memphis Arkansas. He was convicted without a shred of concrete evidence and the entire prosecutions case was based on hearsay and the fact that Echols was a “Wiccan” and wore black clothing. He was sentenced to die. Echols was 18 years old. He has always expressed his innocence and has been blasted by the media for not showing “remorse” for a crime he says he didn’t commit. This is also a true story.

Remind to stay far away from Arkansas.


We recently passed the 60th anniversary of the atomic bomb blast at Hiroshima, Japan. This single historical event took over 120,000 lives, mostly civilian. It also saved over 2 million. I have heard a few people say how the US was wrong in killing so many civilians and to usher in the atomic age. Well let’s discuss this shall we.

The empire of Japan was the most notorious and brutal country in existence at the time. Far more dangerous than Hitler and his death camps. Japan routinely murdered and tortured allied prisoners of war and raped and murdered hundreds of thousands of Chinese civillians, mainly women and children. The “Nanking Massacre” and the “Bataan Death March” are just two of many atrocities committed by Japan in World War 2. Go ahead and Google those names. Never mind I will do it for you, here is a brief synopsis of “The Batann Death March” :

"The Bataan Death March began at Mariveles on April 10, 1942. Any troops who fell behind were executed. Japanese troops beat soldiers randomly, and denied the POWs food and water for many days. One of their tortures was known as the sun treatment. The Philippines in April is very hot. Therefore, the POWs were forced to sit in the sun without any shade, helmets, or water. Anyone who dared ask for water was executed. On the rare occasion they were given any food, it was only a handful of contaminated rice. When the prisoners were allowed to sleep for a few hours at night, they were packed into enclosures so tight that they could barely move. Those who lived collapsed on the dead bodies of their comrades. For only a brief part of the march would POWs be packed into railroad cars and allowed to ride. Those who did not die in the suffocating boxcars were forced to march about seven more miles until they reached their camp. It took the POWs over a week to reach their destination."

Marvel at the complete disregard for human life. President Truman had to make a choice. The invasion of Japan called for nearly 1 million allied troops and it was well known that Japanese soldiers would fight to the death. The estimated death toll from a Japanese invasion was
250, 000 dead allied troops, 1 million dead Japanese troops and hundreds of thousands of dead civilians. It would have been death on a most magnificent scale. Not too mention the POW’s. The Japanese were filling up large ships with emaciated and dying Allied prisoners of war and steaming them to the mainland so they could use them as human shields and at least be sure that we killed as many of our own as we did the enemy. Of course most of these ships were sunk by Allied submarines since the Japanese never had the ships bear the Red Cross, identifying the ship as containing injured men or prisoners so that they were not destroyed. The allies killed over 30,000 of our own troops thanks to the Empire of Japans total disregard for the rules of modern warfare. When Truman decided to drop the bomb instead of invading Japan he saved countless lives and ended the bloodiest war in the world’s history. “Fat Man” and “Little Boy” may have ushered in a new age of warfare but at the time it was the right thing to do.

If we only had leadership smart enough to do the right things for our country today maybe we wouldn’t be disgusted every time we open a Newspaper.


Oh yeah, I heard a lady on the radio today make a very simple yet true comment.
Regarding the gas prices that are completely out of control she said simply, "No one is really making much of a fuss. Everyone is still driving and paying the high prices. Of course no one
is going to lower prices. As long as everyone continues to pay, the prices will stay high." She works for AAA and she is right. Until we kick up a fuss its going to cost you $68 to fill your tank. The ball is in our court but unfortunatley we are all too damn lazy and spoiled to do anything about it. Imagine if everyone in the USA didnt drive to work for ONE day. Just one day. See how fast those prices would go down then.

I guess we can dream cant we?

gabby J

A Good Weekend

I had a nice relaxing weekend finally! Jess, myself and some friends headed up to the White Mtn. National forest and camped out all weekend. Lots of food and booze were had by all. It was a desperately needed escape and I am glad I decided to go. I am a little sore and tired but the scramble in my brain is starting to smooth out. It's a wonder what fresh air and some time away from everything can do. Now its time to start rebuilding and making plans for the rest of the month. There is a lot of things coming up. Should be interesting.

This is quite a dead time for the TV season but if anyone gets a chance be sure to check out "Over There" on FX. Its a gritty drama about the current situation over in Iraq. It follows a squad of soldiers through their tour in the desert. It really hits home now after the loss of all those marines a few days ago.

There is an email hoax going around about Mars. It says on Aug. 27th it will pass as close to earth as it ever will in thousands of years. We are supposed to see it as close as the moon almost. Well it turned out to be a hoax and I never fall for that email/chainmail/hoax shit but since my girlfriend and my Mom told me about it I actually was starting to spread it around. I was so pissed when i found out I was duped. I must be getting slow in my old age.

More tomorrow.

J

Rolling with the Punches

Ok so I went off the deep end a bit. Its kind of strange having a near psychotic episode in such a public forum as this. Ok maybe not psychotic. Idiotic? Maybe.

Things are a little better now. I have come to terms with some of the issues plaguing me and though I wouldn't even try to say things are 100% they are much improved. I had a great talk with Jess last night and a nice dinner with my Mother and Chris. It felt good to come out of my cave and breathe some fresh air for the first time in days and eat a nice meal. I definitely have some major issues that I need to work out. It is going to be a crazy month for sure. Basically I need to figure out how to pay for the work that needs to be done to my car. Jess and I need to get squared away on some bills and food shopping is in order since we haven't done that in weeks. I was so out of it I thought we were out of toilet paper for three days and had been wiping my ass with Brawny. Turns out we had like 40 rolls downstairs.

Cant you tell Im ok now :-)

I am on the verge of smoking cigarettes again but have been fighting the urge as much as I can. My food program and exercise routine has been out the window for weeks and this has seriously dampened my overall mood. This is just another thing to be addressed and added to the growing list of things that need to be improved.

On a higher note Lord Duke, Mister Gonzo himself, my cousin Rick also helped me out yesterday with some words of wisdom. If anyone can talk you out of jumping off a cliff it is he. On top of that, thanks to his generosity and the fact that it was my birthday I now have a plane ticket to Colorado during the weekend of Hunter Thompsons funeral. This is in 2 weeks. How am I going to pull that off amid my current situation? I don't know. The only thing I will say is that I AM going to pull it off one way or another. Its going to be wonderful therapy and a damn good time.

Speaking of my birthday I want to thank the few fine folks who emailed or called yesterday to wish me a Happy B-Day and let me know they were concerned about me. I truly appreciate it. Its tough to spill your guts here because I know damn well it will get reactions from the few who stop by and in a way it feels like a cheap way to get attention. Well that's not the case but thanks for the concern anyway. God bless ya whether you believe in him or not.

So this weekend is almost here, not sure what the hell I am doing but it is quite possible I will be out in nature some where, breathing fresh air and sleeping under the stars. I can leave my troubles behind if only for a few days. After that its going to be a hell of a row to hoe from here on in.

P.S-May the real beefs return here as soon as possible!! Arent you all getting sick of this morbid personal crap??


J

A Total Loss

09:36:52AM 08/02/05

Its funny how one single moment, one tiny event in your life can totally and completely set your entire life spinning out of orbit. As some of you can tell from my previous post not all is well here in beefville anyway. I haven't quite put a finger on it yet but something seems to be misfiring in my brain . I cant seem to pick myself back up and start peddling the bike anymore. Even though you know how to ride the bike, I mean shit you have done it hundreds of times you seem to forget how to peddle all of a sudden and there you are, sprawled out on the pavement. Either that or you just don't want to peddle anymore. Maybe you are just too exhausted or maybe you just don't give a shit. Then again maybe you want to throw the fuckin bike into the dumpster and go out and get yourself a fuckin car. Why peddle your ass off when you can ride in style?

What the fuck am I talking about?

So I was going to tell you about this innocuous moment that split my life into this alternate reality. My mother, god bless her soul, picked me up a PC game for my birthday. Yes I am 31 and I asked her for a PC game for my birthday, this is how pathetic my life is. So I put my girlfriend to bed Saturday night, it was nice, she was happy, I was happy and I sat at my PC, pretty content with my surroundings and figured Id load up the new game, play for a while and drink wine and pop a painkiller until I pass out. Well unfortunately I was unable to get the game to run on my PC, it was a million to one shot that it wouldn't run and I couldn't fuckin believe it. What a rip.

24 hours later I was face down in my bed racked with anxiety, all these people buzzing around my head asking me "where the fuck had I been" and blah blah blah. Did I mention my bank account was half empty? Did I mention I slept for 2 days after that? I had to eat valium like tic tacs and hide in my room to escape the pure pain of embarrassment and total loss.

It took 2 days to get Jess to come around. I don't know about anyone else cuz I haven't seen or talked to anyone in three days except my Mother who would pop her head in here and there to try and pep me up and give me the old "pull yerself up by the bootstraps" talks. She tries but there are no bootstraps to pull anymore. It is Tuesday. I am at work. I didn't come in yesterday and I was late today but that doesn't really matter since I forgot my time card anyway. Its only a matter of time now.

So I am not sure what the next step is from here. It's been a long time since I fucked up this bad and the funny thing is I'm not surprised. I have been feeling and acting strange lately. That old beast is trying to fight its way out of me again. Its not the "live on the streets, shoot drugs be a loser beast" either though he is always there. Its the beast that was screaming at the kitchen clock this morning, the one yelling "FUCK YOU! You do not dictate my life! I will leave when I goddamn please, I will eat my granola bar right here in my kitchen and take my goddamn time doing it! Fuck you!"

Now some of you are thinking of calling the whitecoates and having me committed and not that I would totally be against that idea but I don't think that's the solution. That's the scary part. I do not know what the solution is. Now before anyone gets all up in arms Im not talking about that solution. I'm not planning to go out like some punk bitch. I have too much respect for my loved ones for that. I have no idea where this alternate reality is heading. Hopefully Donnie Darko or someone will come along and close up this goddamn wormhole and I will wake up at my PC with that stupid game loading into my computer, my girlfriend sleeping soundly in the next room and I will be sitting there, with a grin on my face and slowly nodding off from the effects of the wine.

Then I awake on Sunday morning. The sun is coming through my windows and it is 9am. I laugh out loud as I shake the remnants of the terrible dream I had. Surprisingly I feel alive and awake and I am already making plans for the day.

Life is good.


09:36:52AM 08/02/05

j