So It Begins

South Dakota is now closer to passing into law a total Abortion ban in the state. This includes incest and rape cases only leaving out the possibility for abortion if the women’s life is in danger. The Governor has already stated he will sign it into law. Planned Parenthood of South Dakota has vowed to fight the law in court and an anonymous donor has already pledged $1 million dollars to help cover legal fee’s.

It is obvious that the South Dakota legislator’s know full well that this case will end up at the Supreme Court. With the newly sworn in conservative Bush butt boys ready to overturn Roe V.S Wade its time to wake the hell up. Everything moves in steps and has its reasons. The return of Bush, the monumental turn out of the religious right during the last election and Bush’s court appointee’s all add up to what is happening now. First abortion, then total control of TV, radio, Video Games, movies and books and before you know it they will be teaching creation in schools and your children will be handed a Bible as a texbook.

This is time for action.

The women of this country who hold there right to choose as a personal decision are about to get a wake up call.

First South Dakota, next your town.


So, It begins, just like we knew it would.


JaBeef

The Devil in Daniel Johnston

On March 31st of this year will see the release of an incredible documentary about an incredible person. If you haven't heard of Daniel Johnston and are a fan of music, art and its interaction with mental illness then Daniel is for you. I only recently started to listen to his music and really get to know the person and cannot wait to see the whole Documentary when it is released. I have seen an hour or so and it is truly unique filmaking and its subject goes beyond that. An incredibly talented musician and artist, Johnston struggles with his inner demons hell bent to drag him down.

Here are some links to help you out

A HiDef trailer in quicktime. http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony/devilanddanieljohnston/hd/

The official movie site, learn all about the film, Daniel and its Director here http://www.sonyclassics.com/devilanddaniel/aboutthefilm.html

I didn't want to post links to his music for free but I know it can be found on Itunes and Real Rhapsody. On Rhapsody you can stream all his full songs with membership unlike I-Tunes where you have to buy them outright. And Yes, the artists get paid even if you stream only.

You can also head over to Daniels official site and learn more about him, check out his art and purchase all his CD's.

I recommend starting with his very first low low fi recording "Songs of Pain", all recorded with a $50 tapedeck and just Daniel and his piano. He has a few great studio albums also, his only major label work "Fun" is a great start as is "Rejected Unkown" a more recent work.

The beef says check it out and tell us what you think.

JA

Happy Pills + Wine + Me = A New Post!

Ramble rumble. I am just going to spew a little ok? Ready?


Here we go. Whoaa, look where youre aiming DICK!


First, I am happy to report my cuzin Rick, newly published author and Gonzo Captain extraordinaire has returned from his "semi-forced" vacation of sorts. He needed time to clear his head and cleanse his soul after another tragedy so ironically reared its ugly head in his direction. His foray into the Mexican landscape is sure to make for some wonderful reading and you can sample bits here. I am glad he is doing well and sounded great as I spoke to him tonight. We love ya cuz and am proud of you for fighting the good fight in the face of fucked up adversity. Now go out there and introduce the world to your talent. God knows we need it. (P.S-If you've stopped by from the recent link on jigglebox.com the funny story he referred to is the post from Tuesday even though I hope I am funny everyday-"shameless ass kissing sounds" :-)

Second, It appears the "Media" has declared the Cheney shooting story to be over. I didn't get that memo. Bite me! When I stop hearing about a jizz soaked dress you wont hear another word from me about old "Birdshot Big Time". Until then, I will suck all the life out of this silly story. Talk about the gang that couldn't shoot straight! Budump, splash! Hey, I'm here all night, don't forget to tip your waitress. Owooga!

I spoke to a woman named "Kathy" today at work. She wanted to purchase our product but was wondering if it "blacked out all lewd and immoral" content. I asked her if she meant parental controls. She said yeah but something more advanced. I asked her what she meant. She asked if it could tell if the movie or TV show was bad for kids. I asked her exactly what she meant as being "bad for kids?" She actually said "Anything that couldn't be talked about during Sunday Mass". It was then I realized just how much control Parents actually have over what their children watch at home these days. Every TV manufactured now is require to have the "V" chip installed now. For those who don't know, the "V" chip can filter programming based on those TV ratings you see now in the top left hand corner of your TV screen. There are 5 TV's in my home and ALL have the "V" Chip and they are not all new. The Cable box in the Living room has Parental Controls and locks and limits built into it. My Tivo has Parental Controls and channel Locks and content guides. So what the hell is "Kathy's" problem exactly? I think it is the fact that "mature" programming even exists that bothers her. She has every right in the world to control what her kids watch and trust me, there is some serious bullshit on TV especially during the day. Soap Operas, Jerry Springer, and of course innuendo laced dating shows.

"Where is the strangest place you have ever made whoopee?"

"Um...In the Ass?"

Still vomit inducing I know. But you see "Kathy" has all the tools at her disposal to keep her kiddies safe. "V" Chips, parental locks, fucking Cleanfilms.com where she can go and rent hacked to shit movies with all the "bad" stuff edited out. Yet the "Kathy's" of the world want more. There is more control and "choice" over music, TV and movies then ever before in this country yet still they whine. Well Fuck "Kathy" and Fuck the FCC and Fuck anyone who wants to pass laws and boycott and ban things they have TOTAL CONTROL OVER in the first place. They have tits in commercials for laundry soap in the UK and we wonder why the whole world laughs at us.

Podcasting. It took me a while to look into this growing fad. As it became more and more popular I even considered getting some equipment of my own and turning the beeflog into a true audio experience! I have been told I would have a good "radio" voice, at least when I speak slow enough for peeps to understand me. Then I realized how dumb that idea was since I could barely get my posts up here lately. I couldn't imagine doing a podcast once a week. Anyway, I have been downloading some podcasts from (ugh) I-Tunes since most are free and I can actually play them in my NON IPOD Mp3 player. Thank you Apple for not totally making everything on I-Tunes I-pod exclusive. (P.S- I have a Creative Zen 20 GB Mp3 player and Real Rhapsody Music Service. For $15 bucks a month I can fill my player with 10,000 plus songs and switch them out whenever I want. $.99 a song in Apples format with no unlimited transfer to my MP3 player? I think not! No offense to I-Pod and I-Tunes users out there but a lot of folks think I-Pods and I-Tunes are the only way to go and it isn't!) So it was refreshing to be able to download these podcasts and bring them with me in the car for my trips to work. My MP3 player runs through my tape deck (hey my Nissan Z is an 88, cut me some slack) so instead of suffering through the miserable right wing psychobabble which is the only political talk radio available in Cow Hampshire I can now listen to people with actual motor functions!! For anyone that enjoys the beeflog you have to download Real Time with Bill Maher. It is the audio version of his HBO TV show. I grabbed up 2 of his previous shows and have not stopped laughing or pumping my fist and shouting, "You tell em Bill!" for three days now. Highly recommended even if you get to hear Spike Lee trying to explain how the Bush White House deliberately blew up the levees in NOLA. Great stuff!


Last but not least you know I couldn't go a whole post without one swipe at the religious right!

Right?

For that Jesus freak in your family, here is a great gift to give to that faithful one who has everything!

http://cgi.ebay.com/A-WELL_W0QQitemZ5667226645


Have a good weekend. I think the pills are wearing off. Time for beddy pie.

Sweet dreams,

Justin

P.S- Don't you love Ps's? I updated my link section. Some random coolness to be found there. Happy hunting.

A Dick in the Bush

(Its been a rough month in some respects. Been very busy, there were layoffs at my job and luckily I survived the first round. We had quite a bit of snow and extremely chilly weather up here in the North East. Most of the time I have been curled up in bed watching Miami Vice on DVD. So until I can figure out how to get my ancient IBM laptop to connect to my home network I don't foresee daily postings here. I truly want to write everyday. Each day I come up with great ideas to spew forth or silly stuff to bitch about then before I know it days or even weeks pass. I know someone stops by here cuz I get about 50 unique hits a week and for those of you keeping the faith I thank you! Don't give up! Keep stopping by, post comments or whatever and we will continue to bring the beef.)


Ahh, you knew this hilarious Newsbit would bring your Blogger out of hibernation didn't you? How the hell could I pass up a chance to make fun of Dick "Big Time" Cheney shooting some ole' dude in the face with bird shot. No it doesn't get any better than this folks. Is it trivial? Sure. Is it a non issue? Yup. But it still makes us laugh and in this dark age of politics and hate in our beloved country something like this comes along oh so rarely.

Still, the Bush White House still managed to bungle this one with its failure to report the accident right away. In fact over Twenty Four hours passed before anyone except a chosen few even knew Big Time shot his pal full of holes. He was warned about not having the appropriate "stamp" on his license though. I am glad they noticed that. The local Sheriff said it was "an accident" and that no drinking or drugs were involved. The Beeflog has garnered much attention from the political world and we have obtained this transcript of an interview with Vice President only minutes after the shooting. It was conducted by an unnamed local Sheriff.


Sheriff: So Mr. Vice President, can you explain the accident to me?

Dick: Well its quite simple really. Me and Old Harry were out here scaring up some pheasants. I had heard from an inside source at the CIA that there may be suspected Al Queda members down here posing as Hunters so I was on extra alert. I was on Orange.

Sheriff: Alert Orange? Ok, What made the CIA think Al Queda was here?

Dick: Well we have Joe's Bait and Tackle wiretapped and on one of the recordings we heard some Hindu's in here asking about Shotguns and things and as we all know those folks don't hunt. They only hunt good god fearing American's like myself.

Sheriff: Do you mean Muslims sir?

Dick: Hindu's, Muslims, gays, what's the difference? You know son, those tanned smelly folk with the silly accents. Anyhow, I was especially on my guard while we were scaring up game and Harry had to drain the lizard. I guess he had had too many beers... I mean beverages while we were waiting to hit the woods. As you know son, we are at war and its better to be prepared, kinda like the boy scouts. Were you a boy scout son?

Sheriff: Um, actually I was a Cub Scout, never made it to...

Dick:Don't matter, its all about being American you know. Its all about being a Patriot.

Sheriff: Um yeah, back to the accident sir?

Dick:Of course, so Harry walked off to drain the main vein and I swear I heard an Al Queda planning an attack off in them bushes over there.

Sheriff: You though you heard Terrorists planning an attack out here in the woods sir?

Dick:Is this an interrogation son? Who do you think you are Teddy Fucking Kennedy? You want me to get Attorney General Gonzalez down here and take a look at you and your family? That spick will turn your life inside out boy-o. Don't fuck with the bull or your gonna get the horns.....cough....cough........sputter....aaackkk...

(At this point the Vice President had a heart attack. He collapsed and had to be resuscitated by electric shocks to his heart and a shot of adrenaline. After a few minutes his medical team cleared him to continue with the interview)

Dick:Sorry about that. Shit that's two today already.

Sheriff:Sir, are you sure you don't want to continue this later?

Dick:No, I wanna get this over with. I got a dinner with my pals from Haliburton. I gotta straighten some stuff out over there after that damn dirty water issue in Iraq. I told them to at least filter out the big hunks of shit before giving it to the troops for their coffee. Total idiots over there! I mean who's not gonna notice one of the Cosby kids floating around in their Folgers?

Sheriff: Please Sir, the shooting?

Dick: Right! Sorry, the drugs for my ticker really throw me for a loop..says I shouldn't run machinery or drive.

Sheriff:..Or handle firearms?

Dick: Nope. Doesn't say nothing about guns smart guy. Anyway, so I swore I heard a plot being hatched and since we hadn't wiretapped that particular tree I couldn't get a good grasp on the plan. I figured I would take the initiative just like George says you know? Pre-Emptive strike so to speak. So I started blasting away at Al Queda. Instead ole' Harry pops up, his shriveled little pecker in his hand and POW! A face and side full of bird shot. Whoohee is he lucky to be alive! Luckily my entire medical team follows me everywhere and they were able to get him to the Hospital quick as shit. I even finished my hunt and ended up getting a few birds for my dinner.

Sheriff: So you're official story is you were drinking..um.. beverages and felt loopy from your heart medication, you thought you heard Al Queda planning a terrorist attack and blasted away before identifying your target and ended up shooting your friend instead?

Dick:That's what happened. Exactly.

Sheriff: Sir, I'm sorry but I am going to have to bring you downtown...

Dick:Hold on boy, I'm not done yet. Now that's what happened son but not the "official story". The Official story is: I was hunting, Harry came out of the bush just as some pheasants flew out, I aimed at the birds, fired and unfortunately some of the pellets hit him. It was an accident with no drugs,alcohol or tomfoolery involved. Wrong place at the wrong time deal. Happens all the time. In fact, we aren't even gonna break the news till after I visit my pals at Haliburton. How's that sound Sheriff?

Sheriff: But....

Dick: But what? Are you a Patriot officer? You ever been to Baghdad? You ever been audited by the IRS? Ever been ass-raped by Tom "The Hammer" Delay?? Well it hurts son, it hurts BIG TIME!!!! Get this commie fuck out of here!!

(At this time the local Sheriff was whisked away by Secret Service agents only to reappear when he announced the "official" version of events a full 24 hours later. Rumors claim Tom Delay was seen leaving the local Sheriff's office with a big ass grin on his face before the announcement. Ironically the above transcript was leaked to us by Scooter Libby and comes from a wiretap stuck inside the waste band of the Vice Presidents Fruit of the Loom boxer shorts, right under the name tag where Cheney's wife wrote "Dicks Drawers".)



I'm feeling frisky this week, I promise MORE coming SOON!!!


J


And to the ladies in the house, Happy Valentines Day.