houston we have a problem

i think i am losing my mind.

First off i should not be posting anything at this time. It is friday evening and I am curently under the influence of perscription narcotics and alchol. Some would consider this a stupid mixtire yet I call it "dinner". Ok so thast a little over dramatic. I jus thappen to be unwinding after a particualr grueling week that seems to bring no end to the bad news. Im not getting into it because I am not in the mood but lets just say its been less than a stellar week and yes, my relationship is fine and so is my health but i am still miserable.

Shitty bitty boom bitty.

My car. My little sports car needs a llot of work to pass inspection nfortunatley. Course what did I expect for a cheap car that is over 15 years old and has spent its life in shitty New England weather. Fuck winter and fuck rust and fuck bad radiators and fuck state inspection guidlines.

Did I mention I am going insane? Well not really but i have a funny if not scary story. An hour ago, well before ...oops.

My phone just rang. Someone was trying to sell me Motley Crue tickets real cheap. Whover is selling them is obviously high on drugs and needs cash quick hence the immediacy of the sale. Its funny what people will do to get high! I didnt buy them. though it was a good deal I just cant part with the cash right now. Now where was I..

Oh yeah the story. So I pull in my driveway and I had some photos to give to Jess that her mom had given me earlier. I walked inside my house and noticed they were not in my hand anymore. So I retraced my steps.
They were no where to be found. I started doubting if I ever even brought them home but remembered distinctivley clutching them in my hand as i shielded them from the sprinklers that were spraying all over the lawns at Jess's Moms place. Where the fuck had they gone?
i retraced my steps again. Nothing.
I checked the car, my pockets, the ground, under my hat(seriously),my ass, still nothing. What the hell? Im not even messed up yet!

finally after an hour of searching i found them. In the garbage on my front porch. I had thrown them away with some trash I brought in from the car. Ok, maybe its not that great of a story but the fact that I lost these photos in the matter of minutes, a 40 ft walk from the car to the house blows my mind. I think I will not drive anywhere tonight.

Now my cuzn Rick is having a shitty time on his hike. i spoke about some of his troubles earlier and now he has ankle issues that have pulled him off the trail once again. Im sorry bro. i wish I was out there with you. Speaking of Lord Duke I have to get the interview I conducted with him transcribed and up on his site. Someone remind me will ya. Hopefully I didnt throw the tape recording in the trash like a alzheimers reject.

by the way has anyone noticed that gas is 250 a gallon?? Why the fuck arent we rioting in the streets over this?? It costs someone the same amount of money that it would take to feed a small family to fill yer gas tank. Why are the kids dying in Iraq again? It sure aint for oil thats for sure. If anyone has a chanec be sure to check out the FX show "Over There". A great new show about the bullshit in Iraq. It madwe me think about why I am paying so much for Gas. then I watched "Apacolypse Now" for the hundreth time and couldnt stop asking myself "Didnt we learn anything?" I guess not.

Ok, enugh of this crap. I am not spell checking this so all yo grammar monkeys can blow me. i am probably going to regret hitting "publish post" but what the hell. At least I wrote something!

i am going to cuddle up with Jess and forget about all the shit in my life right now that really isnt all that bad its just easier to feel sorry for yerself. She is fast asleep and dreaming. I hope they are good dreams bursting with hope and promise.

I hope.

hugs and kisses,
justino barbarino