69 and Some Hot Coffee Sex!

What a friggin lying ass I am. A few days ago I promised to write everyday and what do I do? I don't write shit! Well I am mostly out of that funk I told you all about so to commemorate my 69th post here on the World Famous Beeflog I shall make this post extra long and extra moist! (eww.)

Pat your Republican friends on the ass today. The House voted to make our favorite Act permanent! What act you ask? Why the Patriot Act silly! You know the one that makes America so much safer because it allows the good guys to use all their power to stop the bad guys! So when your neighbor calls the FBI on you because your dog shit in his yard and tells them that he thinks he saw you check out the Koran from the local library you can thank your politicians when the FBI and CIA checks out your reading, eating, fucking and shopping habits. They can get your Visa records your bank records your health records etc, etc, etc. After all is said and done and they find out you are not a terrorist you will still be fucked when they kick in your door without a search warrant and find a week old bag of pot your cousin left under your couch. Oopsie!

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SCOTT McCLELLAN: (White House Press Bitch): "The president has set high standards, the highest of standards for people in his administration. He's made it very clear to people in his administration that he expects them to adhere to the highest standards of conduct. If anyone in this administration was involved in it, they would no longer be in this administration."

Hey Prez! It seems Karl Rove your favorite ass boy and the guy who helped you pummel John Kerry most likely leaked an undercover CIA agents name to the press! Shouldnt he be fIred just like Scotty Boy said above???

PRESIDENT BUSH: "We have a serious ongoing investigation here. (Laughter.) And it's being played out in the press. And I think it's best that people wait until the investigation is complete before you jump to conclusions. And I will do so, as well. I don't know all the facts. I want to know all the facts. The best place for the facts to be done is by somebody who's spending time investigating it. I would like this to end as quickly as possible so we know the facts, and if someone committed a crime, they will no longer work in my administration."

Wait a minute though, that's not what Scott said, he said nothing of a crime, only if someone is involved, why is the White House changing there stance all of a sudden?

PERSIDENT BUSH:"Anyone else watch Desperate Housewives? HmmHmm Mom and I dig on that picture show!"


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My Shut the Fuck Up award this week goes to....Senator Hillary "Well Hung" Clinton!!
And here is why: A statement distributed by the Senator's office this afternoon sets the scene, stating that "following recent reports revealing that the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas has graphic pornographic content which may be unlocked by following instructions on the Internet, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton will hold a press conference to discuss legislative solutions to keep inappropriate video game content out of the hands of young people."

I am so glad Hillary will take up such an original stance to protect today's youth from pixilated porn. I mean did you se the Pics I posted above!! For anyone wondering what is going on it seems that hidden inside the worlds most popular console video game, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas you can unlock interactive sex scenes when using a "Mod" called the Hot Coffee Mod. These "mod" codes can be downloaded from the internet and used to mod the PC version of GTA. I am not sure how the hell they are modding the console versions but I can only think you would have to use some kind of Game Shark or other peripheral device used to cheat or add codes. To the layman that means that the Xbox and Playstation versions can not be modded by themselves yet Best Buy is pulling all their console versions off the shelf. What they are doing is changing the rating from "Mature" to "Adults Only", making GTA an XXX rated game. Which it is not. R-rated definatley but X-Rated is bullshit. So dipshits like Clinton and Senator Joseph Lieberman (D) (I hate this guy) are calling for a sweeping measure to clean up the torrid Video Game industry. So who do I blame for all this bullshit? Actually I blame Rockstar Games and Take Two Interactive, the makers of GTA. Surprised? You shouldn't be.

The GTA series took off a few years ago when they released GTA 3 for Playstation 2. It was an incredibly violent and fully immersible game that blew away the competition. The game was non-linear so you could literally drive or run around the city doing whatever you wanted and not being locked into a certain path or storyline. It was "free roaming" at its best. You could also run down pedestrians, beat people with baseball bats and gun down hundreds of cops on a whim. Definitely a Mature game and rightfully rated. GTA:Vice City came next and was even better, adding tons more game play and upping the violence factor especially during "missions". The profanity grew in scope also and of course it was rated Mature. Vice City went on to become the best selling console game of all time. Somebody's parents sure and hell were not policing what their kids were buying and playing but luckily no kids stole the family station wagon and flew down Main St running down pedestrians either. So back to why I blame the makers of GTA? They had been pushing the envelope so much with these games and had luckily been flying under the radar so in the meantime they were getting rich and we had some kick ass games to play. Sure there was controversy but nothing like there is now.
With GTA: San Andreas they crossed a line putting in these silly sex scenes. They simply did it to push the envelope even further but now it backfired on them. Saying "Fuck" and killing hookers with a shovel wasn't enough for Rockstar. So now their game is under fire and this will hurt every gamer and game company out there. I fully support Rockstar's choice to put whatever they want in their games and I still believe that Parents are still the first line of defense when it comes to choices of games but this was just silly. I am sure they didnt expect this reaction. With the wicked bitch of the east Hillary in charge we can expect more bullshit censorship on its way. I guarantee Wal-Mart pulls GTA from their stores right away if they haven't done it already. So this weeks Shut the Fuck up goes out to Hillary Clinton and Rockstar Games. I grew up in the 80's and got to see shit like this first hand, remember Tipper Gore and the PMRC? Hopefully this witch hunt doesn't even last as long.


Still Killing hookers with a shovel,

JKA