Rolling with the Punches

Ok so I went off the deep end a bit. Its kind of strange having a near psychotic episode in such a public forum as this. Ok maybe not psychotic. Idiotic? Maybe.

Things are a little better now. I have come to terms with some of the issues plaguing me and though I wouldn't even try to say things are 100% they are much improved. I had a great talk with Jess last night and a nice dinner with my Mother and Chris. It felt good to come out of my cave and breathe some fresh air for the first time in days and eat a nice meal. I definitely have some major issues that I need to work out. It is going to be a crazy month for sure. Basically I need to figure out how to pay for the work that needs to be done to my car. Jess and I need to get squared away on some bills and food shopping is in order since we haven't done that in weeks. I was so out of it I thought we were out of toilet paper for three days and had been wiping my ass with Brawny. Turns out we had like 40 rolls downstairs.

Cant you tell Im ok now :-)

I am on the verge of smoking cigarettes again but have been fighting the urge as much as I can. My food program and exercise routine has been out the window for weeks and this has seriously dampened my overall mood. This is just another thing to be addressed and added to the growing list of things that need to be improved.

On a higher note Lord Duke, Mister Gonzo himself, my cousin Rick also helped me out yesterday with some words of wisdom. If anyone can talk you out of jumping off a cliff it is he. On top of that, thanks to his generosity and the fact that it was my birthday I now have a plane ticket to Colorado during the weekend of Hunter Thompsons funeral. This is in 2 weeks. How am I going to pull that off amid my current situation? I don't know. The only thing I will say is that I AM going to pull it off one way or another. Its going to be wonderful therapy and a damn good time.

Speaking of my birthday I want to thank the few fine folks who emailed or called yesterday to wish me a Happy B-Day and let me know they were concerned about me. I truly appreciate it. Its tough to spill your guts here because I know damn well it will get reactions from the few who stop by and in a way it feels like a cheap way to get attention. Well that's not the case but thanks for the concern anyway. God bless ya whether you believe in him or not.

So this weekend is almost here, not sure what the hell I am doing but it is quite possible I will be out in nature some where, breathing fresh air and sleeping under the stars. I can leave my troubles behind if only for a few days. After that its going to be a hell of a row to hoe from here on in.

P.S-May the real beefs return here as soon as possible!! Arent you all getting sick of this morbid personal crap??


J