I'm Retired

I cant do it anymore. My 30 year old body cannot handle it. As of today Beer and Red Meat are no longer a part of my life. Both had been cut out considerably over the last 2 years but the excess of both over the years has taken its toll. This past weekend A friend and I drove 5 hours up into the woods of Maine to help a buddy move. We drank lots of beer, ate big fat juicy ham burgers and I smoked 17 packs of cigarettes. The destruction that my poor body took proved too much and sent me into a indigestion filled coma for 24 hours. 10 years ago I could have shook that abuse off like nothing. Not today. Not anymore. After a major bender it now takes my body 48 hours to recover. So for example if I get wrecked on Saturday Night, I will not be able to function until about noontime on Monday. This is not good when you have to be at work for 8am. So I have retired. Beer will only be allowed on special occasions such as ballgames, concerts, bar mitzvahs, church etc, and only in moderation. Beef is forever banned. The effect this meat has on my body and soul is unnerving to say the least. Only 2 days of beer and food was enough to blow me up into a gas filled, pasty assed balloon. The horror, oh the horror.
So it is over. Wine and Chicken our now my top menu items. Long live my colon.