History gets a kick in the balls

Memorial Day weekend is over and we all now moving into the summer months. I was so tired this morning after the weekend I had I cannot believe I made it into work. You may have noticed the brief post on Saturday. A sorrowful quote for a sorrowful day. On Saturday morning, after a surprising Friday conversation, Jess and I split up 2 weeks shy of our 2 year anniversary. It was quite a shock to me I must say and it was not a mutual break at all. I am not going into details but I assure everyone it had nothing to do with infidelity or anything like that. In fact Im still not totally sure why even though she did explain it as well as she could.

So I packed a bag and headed north, back to Moose Lake and my cousin who I knew would be able to keep my head screwed on straight. He was quite bummed as well as he always spoke very highly of Jess and our courtship. I knew he would make me feel somewhat better. He did more than that and for all his help and great advice I will be forever grateful to him. We spent two days analyzing our lives, our past relationships and even had a great debate on Quantum Physics of all things. The peacefulnesss of the lake and the warm atmosphere of the cabin did wonders for the soul. It didn't really matter what we did as long as it kept my mind off the empty bed awaiting me at home. I was missing Jess immensely already. I drank wine, beer and popped downers. We routinely took shots of Crown Royal and toasted to the best things in life that are still yet to come. Monday morning I awoke very early. The whole villa was quiet as Rick slept, still exhausted from the late night arrival of friend Dan. I packed up, not eager to leave but eager to get home and restart my life. I left a note, thanked Rick for everything and started the trek home which took longer than usual as it was clogged with Holiday Traffic.
Once home, Jess called and said she was coming over to get some of her things. She didn't sound very good. When she arrived we started talking. The last three days seem to run in reverse, everything she was saying seemed to come from a whole different place then where she was Friday night. I sat there as though I had been the one who wanted her to leave and she was very much NOT wanting to go anywhere. She said she had wanted to call me every hour I was gone. She said she had made a big mistake. And she cried a lot. I guess it only took her two days away from me to realize that. If for even a moment I though the emotions were insincere or if something seemed fishy then I would have helped her pack her stuff, but as I hugged her she nearly collapsed in my arms from exhaustion. I know that feeling and I know everything she said she meant. I was exhausted myself. All the stress and tension had been lifted and neither of us could barely move.
So I guess for the record we will say we took 48 hours off from each other. Everyone needs some alone time. I guess we decided alone time without each other was no fun.

So it was not a joyous Holiday weekend for me but it had a happy ending at least. During my stay in Maine I made some serious decisions about my life. I still plan on keeping true to all those. I will talk about them from time to time. I hope everyone else's weekend was less dramatic and more enjoyable then mine.


Sleeping Again,

J