Plastic manhood, Chasing a dream and the pressure is on.

Wow what a fast few days. I feel like a slacker for not writing since Friday. This weekend was a busy and fun one to say the least. Spent all day Saturday shopping overpriced stores in Nashua NH and finally got myself a firearm! Ok not really but it feels and looks like the real thing anyway. Ever since I was a kid I have been obsessed with guns. Not because I want to go kill someone or rob the 7-11 just because I have always had a cinematic imagination and nothing brought to life a scene from "Die Hard" like a cold piece of metal in your hand. Shit if I was in High School right now the FBI would be tracking me just for typing that sentence. So I finally bought myself an Airsoft pistol. What is airsoft you ask? Well its basically a BB gun that shoots hard plastic BB's instead of "you'll shoot yer eye out" steel ones. The thing about Airsoft is that the guns are modeled after the real thing. Most are even fully trademarked by Sigma, Smith and Wesson and like mine, Beretta Firearms. Not to mention they are exact replica's, real enough looking to get a face full of buckshot from Officer Powell if you were to waive it around in public. Yeah I know, most of you are saying why not buy the real thing? A few reasons. One, guns are expensive and two they kill people. With my little plinker I can feel like a man, look like an armed man but cause no serious threat except for the welts I raised on my leg when I shot myself to test the strength. Ouch. I know you're all saying "How Silly" but everyone has their strange passion. Mine is real guns that aren't real. I will always have a real 12 gauge hidden away for self defense but when it comes to a 1300 dollar Glock 17, Ill take the one for $50.

Now Amazon.com is hosting a film contest. Recently I was trying to work on a movie for Fangoria, the great Horror magazine but their deadline was fast approaching and to be honest I still am lacking equipment and time. Just for those who don't already know I am a huge film buff and ever since I saw "The Road Warrior" with Mel Gibson on our huge rented VHS machine in 1982 I have dreamed of becoming a Director. Over the years I managed a dozen or so silly skit-films with relatives and friends, a couple of my own sex videos and lots of unused footage of people partying and acting like fools. Not much of a resume. So when I saw that amazon.com was running a 7 minute film contest I said to myself "Shit, 7 minutes? Who cant pull that off!" Quentin Tarantino's words echoed through my brain. After winning the Independent Spirit Award for "Pulp Fiction" he told Michael Moore in an interview "My advice for filmmakers is this. Make your MOVIE! Don't wait for better equipment, more money or better actors just do it. And do it by the time you turn 30!" Well here I am, 30. No money, shitty equipment and no actors. Sounds like the perfect time to start. Now all I need is an idea.

I was so thrilled to see Lord Duke post new rants to jigglebox.com!!I was quite flattered that he mentioned my silly blog also. God, I feel like the pressure is on now! Anyone just tuning in I recommend going back into my archives here and start from the beginning.

All you poor souls out there that owe money better move to Canada. Congress is passing a bill making it harder to claim bankruptcy. We all know that the system is abused but mostly by big companies and scumbags who lose civil suits and try to weasel their way out of it. Republicans blocked an amendment that would have blocked ANYONE who had a judgment levied against them to not be able to use bankruptcy as a way out. They claim it is an abortion issue because pro-lifers who shoot Doctor's and blow up clinics are often sued and could get out of paying civil fines because they claim Bankruptcy. Senator Orinn Hatch said "It was a ridiculous amendment, their has never been a case of an someone using Bankruptcy as a way to get out of Civil fines, abortion related or otherwise" So Hatch, what your saying is the amendment is silly because what it blocks doesn't exist? So why the hell do you care if its in the bill?? Would it hurt to be there in case something like that comes up?? Fuckin dumb ass. Heed my words this bill will hurt the poor and turn Bankruptcy courts into collection Depot's for fuckin Visa. Next stop, Debtors Prison!!!!

I love to hear these chucklhead Congressmen on NPR as I drive home. They are about as smart as those kids who shot up the Italians trying to get that commie reporter out of Iraq. What a cluster fuck our country is. But I will repeat, Its my country and my clusterfuck too. I still have faith. Some day things will get better.