Your Stop for the Daily Beef!

The Final Post

2006-10-05T00:15:00.000-04:00

this is it for the Daily Beef.

If your still interested you can head on over to http://myburningmind.blogspot.com/

Its a new Blog for a new day.

Also keep tabs on www.formerlifefilms.com That will be updated soon and will feature all kinds of stuff from our indie film company. Wish us luck @ hope to see you there.

Justin

2006-10-04T03:15:00.000-04:00

New Blog

New Website

New Life

October 4th

you can bet yer ass on it ;-)

I suck but My Cuz doesn't

2006-09-05T23:21:00.000-04:00

Even though I don't post anymore, basically due to laziness, a total lack of drive, a growing addiction to WOW (google it) and the lack of anything interesting to say there are still exciting people out there writing.

Like my Cuz, who is on a fresh adventure. Last time it was the Appalachian Trail, this time he is canoeing the Mighty Mississippi river from top to bottom! Follow him here!

J

To Blog or Not to Blog

2006-08-02T21:30:00.000-04:00

Wow. Long time huh? Yeah, I know I probably lost the few readers I had after the first 7 times I stopped posting then returned. I guess I never considered just how hard it would be to keep up with this. What can I say? Lets just hope I can give this another go.

I do have Internet access @ both of my locations now so I think that will help. I have changed jobs since my last post and am much happier for it. Well at least on the monetary side of things. It is a lot of hours though and I do not get two days of in a row and that sucks balls. I think taking the summer off is OK though. Who wants to spend all their time crunched in front of their PC's anyway? Get out, commute, go hike a mountain or take a vacay. Stop posting pics of yer dogs on MySpace. Breathe the air for a bit. Careful though, this heatwave has created some rancid O2 out there.

So go do something fun and somewhere in the middle of it all go see Clerks 2. Its fuckin great. Kevin Smith has redeemed himself for that little turd called Jersey Girl. Go visit my cuz @ Jigglebox.com and if you get bored check back here in a few days. Maybe some words will materialize.

Or maybe I'll see ya in the Fall.

Captain J

P.S-Check out this review of my Cousins book from the Nashua Telegraph.

10.000 Days, A Review

2006-04-26T06:00:00.000-04:00

10,000 Days, A Review

5 years. That seems to be the timetable in which the band Tool feels is the best time to elapse in between albums. Unfortunately for fans like us it gets to be pretty annoying. Things could be worse of course. We could get no new Tool at all and that would leave us with the glut of shit music that permeates the music charts and allows shows like American Idol to defecate out more prepackaged crapola.

Cmon, Clay Aiken looks and smells like a turd.

Anyway, as some of you may have figured out that Tool is just days away from releasing its 5th studio album in 14 years as a band. After 2001's Lateralus wore off sooner than some fans may have liked the wait was on for more of Maynard and Company. Yes, we had A Perfect Circle to keep us company but now that they have officially disbanded (according to Maynard last month) we have only the OG Tool to keep us happy. On May 2nd I will be purchasing the new CD entitled 10,000 days and so should you. I still couldn't keep myself from downloading the leaked version from a bittorrent client. I just couldn't wait.
Here are my early thoughts

I need to watch things die
From a good safe distance
Vicariously, I Live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so
Why can't we just admit it?

The album opens with the radio released single, Vicarious. At first it seems to be a great segue from Lateralus but after a few listens I can hear big differences and am surprised at just how strong a single this is. Probably the most single worthy song since Stinkfist. Great lyrics reflecting everyones obsession with watching the horror of the world unfold from the safety of our barcoloungers. Hooky chorus and a cool new vocal style for MJK.

Prayed like a father
dusk to dawn
Beg like a hooker all night long
Tempted the devil with my song
And got what I wanted all along

Jambi brings back images of H or Eulogy in a way. This is where Justin's bass playing starts to shine as does Danny's tabla playing. A good song that will likely grow on me in the future.

Vacant, broken
Fell at the hands of Those moments that I wouldn't’t see
Cause it was you who prayed for me
What have I done to be a son to an angel
What have I done to be worthy

This is a hard one. Wings for Marie and 10,000 days (Wings part 2) are hard to pin down. Part 1 is being hailed online as most peoples favorite song from the album and has been called "haunting, beautiful and sad". Its definitely all of those things. Wings for Marie seems to be penned for Maynards mother who recently passed but as with anything Tool we could be way off. A plodding, shifting tune in the vain of Third Eye it may take more than one listen to fully appreciate. Part 2 continues in the same vain with a "Riders on the Storm" rainfall as a backdrop and this part is definitely my favorite of the two. Still, Maynard shines vocally on both tunes and Justin, Adam and Danny show off their chops to the fullest extent. The last half of 10,000 days (Wings Part 2) is the sonic equivalent of an orgasm. Both songs together take up nearly a third of the albums running time.

Foot in mouth,
and head up asshole
What you talkin' 'bout?
Difficult to dance 'round this one
'til you pull it out, boy!
You must have been,
so high
You must have been,
so high

Holy Shit! The Pot is being hailed as either the worst or the best Tool song in a long time. I am in the latter category myself. It is easily my favorite tune so far. Maynard does acapella in the intro, lyrics about hypocrites, pot and heads up assholes!! This is the grooviest Tool song ever. This should be the second single as it will surely garner newer fans. Of course we longtime Tool folk may not want that. I mean you can practically dance to this one kiddies. Good Stuff.

The next track is Lipan Conjuring. Its a toolish interlude ala the intro to Jimmy etc. Filler.

Nurse: Excuse me? Doctor? Do you have a moment?
Doctor: A moment? What's the question?
Nurse: More of a situation, a gentleman in exam 3
Doctor: What's the problem?
Nurse: That is the problem, we're not sure.

More filler, kind of. Lost Keys (Blame Hoffman) is another strange intro to the following song so it doesn't really count as a tune.

Let the X-file be entered
As some kind of blue creature I
hate it when it stows a meteor in my bathroom
If you look at your appearance for a moment you can see
Another banana bourbon enema

More toolishness from the guys. After Lost Keys introduces us to the "silent patient" he seems to open up here in Rosetta Stoned and rattles on about alien abductions and shitting the bed. Only Tool can take such subject matter and make it kick ass. (I'm not positive but this song may have the most lyrics of any previous Tool song and it rings in at nearly 12 minutes.) Midway through Maynard takes over and bends the tune into more of a song before the "shit the bed guy" returns. Long but worth it.

Spark becomes a flame.
Flame becomes a fire.
Forge a blade to slay the stranger.
Take whatever we desire

Slow and moody, Intension meanders here before the final tune as sort of a tune up before the end. Almost chant like, Intension ranks low so far as favorite songs on this album. Danny has fun with his new electronic drum kit here. Given time it may catch me in the right mood.

Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason.
And this is what they choose.
Monkey killing monkey killing monkey
Over pieces of the ground.

The final song exemplifies what Tool is all about. With Right in Two Maynard sings about the "stupid moneys" killing for land and god and how any creator would look down in disgust. The state of the world today has obviously influenced Maynard here. An incredible song and a great way to end the album. Incredible bridge featuring Danny on the Tabla's or could it be "the tabla master himself?". We will have to wait and see the liner notes. Adam shreds here also. A fitting final song.

Oh, there is one more track at the end but its not a song. Its called Viginti Tres and its more filler. Just some noise to close out the album.

I would say 10,000 Days is a lot like what we would get if Lateralus and Aenima had a love child. Tool continues to evolve as a band but with songs like The Pot and Rosetta Stoned you can hear them reach in directions never touched before. Again these are just my ealrly feelings as Ive had only a few full listens so far. Just remember May 2nd, the album drops and hopefully I will see ya all there. (No, I wont be at Walmart and neither should you!)

Stand out Tracks-Vicarious, The Pot and Right in Two.

Verdict-Great album but too much tooly filler.

good night-jka,5:55am

Meet the New Boss... ( a guest beef)

2006-04-23T17:37:00.000-04:00

Apparently Justin's new diet is keeping him away from beef in all forms, so I've taken it upon myself to temporarily usurp his throne and proclaim myself to be the interim Beefmaster.

My name is Admiral Hellcats, and I work with Justin. There isn't much to do where we work, so if I can't read new installments of the Daily Beef, I figure it's just as well to create some of my own. If you're reading this on Justin's blog, it means that he was either very impressed with my writing ability, or just too lazy to write something himself. And if you're not reading this.... Well, I don't really have to address people who aren't reading this, do I? It's just simple logic.

So on with the show....

Having never blogged before, I figured I'd have to come at it from an interesting angle. Having been a long time (re: two month) reader of Justin's blog, however, I felt when I decided to do this that it would be fair to keep with the spirit of his rants. Upon closer inspection of Justin's rants, I found that they can be broken down into three categories:

1. Biting political and social satire
2. The obligatory "sorry I haven't updated in a while" posts.
3. Drunken, medicated gibberish .

So, in the interest of keepin' faithful while still putting my own stank on this thang, I think I'm gonna trim the fat and keep my beef lean. I'm going to rip into the pop culture news machine like a cougar into a carcass. It's two thirty in the morning, I'm chock full of Whopper Juniors and Tab Energy, and I'm staring down the Google News page like it just made a pass at my mom.

What's the time? It's time to get ill.

First thing's first, What the fuck is going on in Nepal? Everybody's buzzing about protesters over there getting their faces bashed in. Seems some Nepalese folk wanted a taste of that sweet thing called Democracy that we Americans love to take for granted. The king doesn't seem to think that's such a good idea, so all the king's horses and all the king's men have been dispatched to crack some shells. What do I think of all this? Well, first of all, Kings are gay. They were gay in England, they're gay in Chess, and the aforementioned Whopper Juniors sitting in my gut like a rock aren't making me too fond of the King of Burgers, either. Protesters can suck, too, but considering the fact that any time protesters get smacked up their oppressors are unwittingly and instantly giving legitimacy to their cause, these protesters seem to be on the right track. My opinion? Fuck the King of Nepal. If he was so great, he'd be the President. Or at least Prime Minister.

Next up, this headline from the New York Times: "Energy Politics on Earth Day as Bush Tours California." This headline is such a clusterfuck of crazy shit that I almost didn't even want to read the story before commenting on it. But I did, and it wasn't nearly as interesting. Let me pick apart this headline phrase by phrase to show you what I mean.

First of all, "Energy Politics." Given the context, one would assume that this phrase is in reference to the idea of our political body working toward energy conservation to make our country a better, cleaner, less dependent place. But anyone with any notion of hindsight knows that the Politics of Energy have as much to do with politicians improving the energy problems of this great land as the No Child Left Behind act has to do with not leaving any children behind. It's a money and numbers game, and the numbers show that the money isn't in conserving energy; it's in charging me thirty dollars to fill up the tank on my fucking Escort Wagon. Does anyone really believe that a former Texas oil man is going to side with the people who aren't making money selling oil? Of course not. The fact is, gas prices are going to get higher, and we're all going to keep buying it, and the oil companies will find a way to make money and conserve energy at the same time when they're good and ready. In the meantime, let's all stop pretending the federal government has anything to do with it, shall we?

Not only that, but given the fact that the headline states that this tour is taking place in California, a state with the income of a wealthy country that couldn't even solve it's own energy problems without electing an astoundingly under qualified entertainer to replace an astoundingly ineffective politician who was unwittingly allowing his constituency to be fleeced by an astoundingly corrupt corporation, you just know this is something to be taken seriously.
And to top it all off, you've got Bush and Earth Day, a war president who couldn't win as the incumbent without cheating and a holiday that's not even worth drinking on. 'Nuff said.

While I'm reading the news, did anyone hear about this Chinese woman who has lived in America for twenty years getting arrested for yelling at the Chinese president? When I heard about this, I figured she had said some really fucked up shit to make herself seem like a threat... Something along the lines of, oh, I don't know... "I'm going to kill the President of China!", or maybe "I'm going to kill you, Mr. President.... Of China!!!" Based on that assumption, I figured it was probably better that this lady be put away for a while. But let's check out the actual quotes that the federal prosecutor decided were so threatening that the woman might end up in prison for six years, and decide for ourselves, shall we?

1. "Your time is running out."

I can see how this could be threatening. If your time is running out, it could mean that you are going to die soon. It could also mean, however, that you're going to miss a sale at Penney's. Or maybe you're playing Concentration! That sounds like fun. (Actually, it doesn't. Concentration was a shit game, but I don't think we can put people away for talking about it.) Given the context, she probably meant the first thing. But, given the actual wording, she may very well have meant that the time of the president's ideological mindset may be running out; that is, that his ideas, not his existence, may soon cease to have a place in this world. I mean, shit, when I say that Coldplay's time is running out, I don't mean that Chris "I name my kids stupid shit" Martin and his bandmates are going to die soon. I mean that, eventually, people are going to tire of that boring shit. I think you get my drift. Let's look at the next quote, shall we?

2. "Anything you have done will come back to you in this life."

That's not a threat... That's Eastern philosophy. It's called Karma, folks. I don't believe in it, but I don't believe that people who do should be put away. If everyone who didn't believe in the same shit that I do was put away in prison for believing their stupid shit, well... I don't know. I'm too tired to be clever. There would be a lot of people in prison, that's all. And less traffic, I guess.
So, how can we justify putting this woman away? Easy. It wasn't our president; it was China's. After all, when Dubya visits another country where people are allowed to do things that we're not allowed to do in America, we arrest all the people who exercise those freedoms anywhere near him, right? Of course not. This is America, and if the Chinese president doesn't like to be yelled at, maybe he should go back to China and make me some some Chuck Taylors. Fucking asshole.

I was going to talk about Tom Cruise's new baby, but then I remembered that I don't care, and neither do you if you're a decent human being. But in case you're interested, it was stillborn. Too bad.

That's really all I have to say right now. I have to go home and sleep so I can come back to work in a few hours and start all over again. Until next time, stay angry, keep reading, and don't expect Justin to ever let me do this again. After all, I'm making him look bad.

Adios, motherfuckers. -MCS

(Big Ups to MCS for filling in and trying to get the beef back in full swing. If anyone else cares to contribute until JA's eventual return send anything you want to thebeeflog@yahoo.com)

Keep yer eyes peeled, more to come.

A Month of Blah

2006-03-22T17:44:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in over a month.

Sorry.

Not much of a month really. March is just one of those crummy months teetering on the edge of spring, too early for Baseball and spending time outdoors. Yuck.

Spring is upon us though. Time to fire up the brain and get this beef started all over again.

Lately its been a lot of TV, Movies and the occasional video game. I recently got myself hooked on Will and Grace and Battlestar Galacticta. Damn you TV on DVD!

Adam Vaneteri is now a Colt. If you don't know who he is then you couldn't care less but us Patriot fans here in New England feel the sting. Oh well.

They killed Edgar on 24. Oh Well.

A crazy women just called our work to complain about Campbells Chunky Soup. We sold her Satellite TV instead. HeHe

Be back soon.

j

So It Begins

2006-02-25T14:17:00.000-05:00

South Dakota is now closer to passing into law a total Abortion ban in the state. This includes incest and rape cases only leaving out the possibility for abortion if the women’s life is in danger. The Governor has already stated he will sign it into law. Planned Parenthood of South Dakota has vowed to fight the law in court and an anonymous donor has already pledged $1 million dollars to help cover legal fee’s.

It is obvious that the South Dakota legislator’s know full well that this case will end up at the Supreme Court. With the newly sworn in conservative Bush butt boys ready to overturn Roe V.S Wade its time to wake the hell up. Everything moves in steps and has its reasons. The return of Bush, the monumental turn out of the religious right during the last election and Bush’s court appointee’s all add up to what is happening now. First abortion, then total control of TV, radio, Video Games, movies and books and before you know it they will be teaching creation in schools and your children will be handed a Bible as a texbook.

This is time for action.

The women of this country who hold there right to choose as a personal decision are about to get a wake up call.

First South Dakota, next your town.

So, It begins, just like we knew it would.

JaBeef

The Devil in Daniel Johnston

2006-02-24T10:13:00.000-05:00

On March 31st of this year will see the release of an incredible documentary about an incredible person. If you haven't heard of Daniel Johnston and are a fan of music, art and its interaction with mental illness then Daniel is for you. I only recently started to listen to his music and really get to know the person and cannot wait to see the whole Documentary when it is released. I have seen an hour or so and it is truly unique filmaking and its subject goes beyond that. An incredibly talented musician and artist, Johnston struggles with his inner demons hell bent to drag him down.

Here are some links to help you out

A HiDef trailer in quicktime. http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony/devilanddanieljohnston/hd/

The official movie site, learn all about the film, Daniel and its Director here http://www.sonyclassics.com/devilanddaniel/aboutthefilm.html

I didn't want to post links to his music for free but I know it can be found on Itunes and Real Rhapsody. On Rhapsody you can stream all his full songs with membership unlike I-Tunes where you have to buy them outright. And Yes, the artists get paid even if you stream only.

You can also head over to Daniels official site and learn more about him, check out his art and purchase all his CD's.

I recommend starting with his very first low low fi recording "Songs of Pain", all recorded with a $50 tapedeck and just Daniel and his piano. He has a few great studio albums also, his only major label work "Fun" is a great start as is "Rejected Unkown" a more recent work.

The beef says check it out and tell us what you think.

JA

Happy Pills + Wine + Me = A New Post!

2006-02-18T01:15:00.000-05:00

Ramble rumble. I am just going to spew a little ok? Ready?

Here we go. Whoaa, look where youre aiming DICK!

First, I am happy to report my cuzin Rick, newly published author and Gonzo Captain extraordinaire has returned from his "semi-forced" vacation of sorts. He needed time to clear his head and cleanse his soul after another tragedy so ironically reared its ugly head in his direction. His foray into the Mexican landscape is sure to make for some wonderful reading and you can sample bits here. I am glad he is doing well and sounded great as I spoke to him tonight. We love ya cuz and am proud of you for fighting the good fight in the face of fucked up adversity. Now go out there and introduce the world to your talent. God knows we need it. (P.S-If you've stopped by from the recent link on jigglebox.com the funny story he referred to is the post from Tuesday even though I hope I am funny everyday-"shameless ass kissing sounds" :-)

Second, It appears the "Media" has declared the Cheney shooting story to be over. I didn't get that memo. Bite me! When I stop hearing about a jizz soaked dress you wont hear another word from me about old "Birdshot Big Time". Until then, I will suck all the life out of this silly story. Talk about the gang that couldn't shoot straight! Budump, splash! Hey, I'm here all night, don't forget to tip your waitress. Owooga!

I spoke to a woman named "Kathy" today at work. She wanted to purchase our product but was wondering if it "blacked out all lewd and immoral" content. I asked her if she meant parental controls. She said yeah but something more advanced. I asked her what she meant. She asked if it could tell if the movie or TV show was bad for kids. I asked her exactly what she meant as being "bad for kids?" She actually said "Anything that couldn't be talked about during Sunday Mass". It was then I realized just how much control Parents actually have over what their children watch at home these days. Every TV manufactured now is require to have the "V" chip installed now. For those who don't know, the "V" chip can filter programming based on those TV ratings you see now in the top left hand corner of your TV screen. There are 5 TV's in my home and ALL have the "V" Chip and they are not all new. The Cable box in the Living room has Parental Controls and locks and limits built into it. My Tivo has Parental Controls and channel Locks and content guides. So what the hell is "Kathy's" problem exactly? I think it is the fact that "mature" programming even exists that bothers her. She has every right in the world to control what her kids watch and trust me, there is some serious bullshit on TV especially during the day. Soap Operas, Jerry Springer, and of course innuendo laced dating shows.

"Where is the strangest place you have ever made whoopee?"

"Um...In the Ass?"

Still vomit inducing I know. But you see "Kathy" has all the tools at her disposal to keep her kiddies safe. "V" Chips, parental locks, fucking Cleanfilms.com where she can go and rent hacked to shit movies with all the "bad" stuff edited out. Yet the "Kathy's" of the world want more. There is more control and "choice" over music, TV and movies then ever before in this country yet still they whine. Well Fuck "Kathy" and Fuck the FCC and Fuck anyone who wants to pass laws and boycott and ban things they have TOTAL CONTROL OVER in the first place. They have tits in commercials for laundry soap in the UK and we wonder why the whole world laughs at us.

Podcasting. It took me a while to look into this growing fad. As it became more and more popular I even considered getting some equipment of my own and turning the beeflog into a true audio experience! I have been told I would have a good "radio" voice, at least when I speak slow enough for peeps to understand me. Then I realized how dumb that idea was since I could barely get my posts up here lately. I couldn't imagine doing a podcast once a week. Anyway, I have been downloading some podcasts from (ugh) I-Tunes since most are free and I can actually play them in my NON IPOD Mp3 player. Thank you Apple for not totally making everything on I-Tunes I-pod exclusive. (P.S- I have a Creative Zen 20 GB Mp3 player and Real Rhapsody Music Service. For $15 bucks a month I can fill my player with 10,000 plus songs and switch them out whenever I want. $.99 a song in Apples format with no unlimited transfer to my MP3 player? I think not! No offense to I-Pod and I-Tunes users out there but a lot of folks think I-Pods and I-Tunes are the only way to go and it isn't!) So it was refreshing to be able to download these podcasts and bring them with me in the car for my trips to work. My MP3 player runs through my tape deck (hey my Nissan Z is an 88, cut me some slack) so instead of suffering through the miserable right wing psychobabble which is the only political talk radio available in Cow Hampshire I can now listen to people with actual motor functions!! For anyone that enjoys the beeflog you have to download Real Time with Bill Maher. It is the audio version of his HBO TV show. I grabbed up 2 of his previous shows and have not stopped laughing or pumping my fist and shouting, "You tell em Bill!" for three days now. Highly recommended even if you get to hear Spike Lee trying to explain how the Bush White House deliberately blew up the levees in NOLA. Great stuff!

Last but not least you know I couldn't go a whole post without one swipe at the religious right!

Right?

For that Jesus freak in your family, here is a great gift to give to that faithful one who has everything!

http://cgi.ebay.com/A-WELL_W0QQitemZ5667226645

Have a good weekend. I think the pills are wearing off. Time for beddy pie.

Sweet dreams,

Justin

P.S- Don't you love Ps's? I updated my link section. Some random coolness to be found there. Happy hunting.

A Dick in the Bush

2006-02-14T18:02:00.000-05:00

(Its been a rough month in some respects. Been very busy, there were layoffs at my job and luckily I survived the first round. We had quite a bit of snow and extremely chilly weather up here in the North East. Most of the time I have been curled up in bed watching Miami Vice on DVD. So until I can figure out how to get my ancient IBM laptop to connect to my home network I don't foresee daily postings here. I truly want to write everyday. Each day I come up with great ideas to spew forth or silly stuff to bitch about then before I know it days or even weeks pass. I know someone stops by here cuz I get about 50 unique hits a week and for those of you keeping the faith I thank you! Don't give up! Keep stopping by, post comments or whatever and we will continue to bring the beef.)

Ahh, you knew this hilarious Newsbit would bring your Blogger out of hibernation didn't you? How the hell could I pass up a chance to make fun of Dick "Big Time" Cheney shooting some ole' dude in the face with bird shot. No it doesn't get any better than this folks. Is it trivial? Sure. Is it a non issue? Yup. But it still makes us laugh and in this dark age of politics and hate in our beloved country something like this comes along oh so rarely.

Still, the Bush White House still managed to bungle this one with its failure to report the accident right away. In fact over Twenty Four hours passed before anyone except a chosen few even knew Big Time shot his pal full of holes. He was warned about not having the appropriate "stamp" on his license though. I am glad they noticed that. The local Sheriff said it was "an accident" and that no drinking or drugs were involved. The Beeflog has garnered much attention from the political world and we have obtained this transcript of an interview with Vice President only minutes after the shooting. It was conducted by an unnamed local Sheriff.

Sheriff: So Mr. Vice President, can you explain the accident to me?

Dick: Well its quite simple really. Me and Old Harry were out here scaring up some pheasants. I had heard from an inside source at the CIA that there may be suspected Al Queda members down here posing as Hunters so I was on extra alert. I was on Orange.

Sheriff: Alert Orange? Ok, What made the CIA think Al Queda was here?

Dick: Well we have Joe's Bait and Tackle wiretapped and on one of the recordings we heard some Hindu's in here asking about Shotguns and things and as we all know those folks don't hunt. They only hunt good god fearing American's like myself.

Sheriff: Do you mean Muslims sir?

Dick: Hindu's, Muslims, gays, what's the difference? You know son, those tanned smelly folk with the silly accents. Anyhow, I was especially on my guard while we were scaring up game and Harry had to drain the lizard. I guess he had had too many beers... I mean beverages while we were waiting to hit the woods. As you know son, we are at war and its better to be prepared, kinda like the boy scouts. Were you a boy scout son?

Sheriff: Um, actually I was a Cub Scout, never made it to...

Dick:Don't matter, its all about being American you know. Its all about being a Patriot.

Sheriff: Um yeah, back to the accident sir?

Dick:Of course, so Harry walked off to drain the main vein and I swear I heard an Al Queda planning an attack off in them bushes over there.

Sheriff: You though you heard Terrorists planning an attack out here in the woods sir?

Dick:Is this an interrogation son? Who do you think you are Teddy Fucking Kennedy? You want me to get Attorney General Gonzalez down here and take a look at you and your family? That spick will turn your life inside out boy-o. Don't fuck with the bull or your gonna get the horns.....cough....cough........sputter....aaackkk...

(At this point the Vice President had a heart attack. He collapsed and had to be resuscitated by electric shocks to his heart and a shot of adrenaline. After a few minutes his medical team cleared him to continue with the interview)

Dick:Sorry about that. Shit that's two today already.

Sheriff:Sir, are you sure you don't want to continue this later?

Dick:No, I wanna get this over with. I got a dinner with my pals from Haliburton. I gotta straighten some stuff out over there after that damn dirty water issue in Iraq. I told them to at least filter out the big hunks of shit before giving it to the troops for their coffee. Total idiots over there! I mean who's not gonna notice one of the Cosby kids floating around in their Folgers?

Sheriff: Please Sir, the shooting?

Dick: Right! Sorry, the drugs for my ticker really throw me for a loop..says I shouldn't run machinery or drive.

Sheriff:..Or handle firearms?

Dick: Nope. Doesn't say nothing about guns smart guy. Anyway, so I swore I heard a plot being hatched and since we hadn't wiretapped that particular tree I couldn't get a good grasp on the plan. I figured I would take the initiative just like George says you know? Pre-Emptive strike so to speak. So I started blasting away at Al Queda. Instead ole' Harry pops up, his shriveled little pecker in his hand and POW! A face and side full of bird shot. Whoohee is he lucky to be alive! Luckily my entire medical team follows me everywhere and they were able to get him to the Hospital quick as shit. I even finished my hunt and ended up getting a few birds for my dinner.

Sheriff: So you're official story is you were drinking..um.. beverages and felt loopy from your heart medication, you thought you heard Al Queda planning a terrorist attack and blasted away before identifying your target and ended up shooting your friend instead?

Dick:That's what happened. Exactly.

Sheriff: Sir, I'm sorry but I am going to have to bring you downtown...

Dick:Hold on boy, I'm not done yet. Now that's what happened son but not the "official story". The Official story is: I was hunting, Harry came out of the bush just as some pheasants flew out, I aimed at the birds, fired and unfortunately some of the pellets hit him. It was an accident with no drugs,alcohol or tomfoolery involved. Wrong place at the wrong time deal. Happens all the time. In fact, we aren't even gonna break the news till after I visit my pals at Haliburton. How's that sound Sheriff?

Sheriff: But....

Dick: But what? Are you a Patriot officer? You ever been to Baghdad? You ever been audited by the IRS? Ever been ass-raped by Tom "The Hammer" Delay?? Well it hurts son, it hurts BIG TIME!!!! Get this commie fuck out of here!!

(At this time the local Sheriff was whisked away by Secret Service agents only to reappear when he announced the "official" version of events a full 24 hours later. Rumors claim Tom Delay was seen leaving the local Sheriff's office with a big ass grin on his face before the announcement. Ironically the above transcript was leaked to us by Scooter Libby and comes from a wiretap stuck inside the waste band of the Vice Presidents Fruit of the Loom boxer shorts, right under the name tag where Cheney's wife wrote "Dicks Drawers".)

I'm feeling frisky this week, I promise MORE coming SOON!!!

J

And to the ladies in the house, Happy Valentines Day.

Getting the Fear

2006-01-29T12:11:00.000-05:00

Yeah I know. Me no post no more. Well not lately anyway. Like a broken record I will repeat the words I have used so often here.

Its just so damn hard to find the time.

Its surely not for lack of ideas. There has been a lot of crap going on in the world that deserves a full flavored beef makeover. We have a Supreme Court that will soon be leaning so far to the Right that they will topple off the bench, hopefully crushing Clarence Thomas and Scalia to death under their collective weight. Judge Roberts, now Alito and Attorney General Gonzales will surely yank our Judicial System so far backwards that owning Slaves will come back into fashion. Serves us right though. Its who this country's voters put in power so we have no one to blame for it but ourselves. You want to know what the really scary thing is though? Its starting to look like that's the way We The People want it. Just look at the last two elections.

Back in September 2005 Bill Bennett, a CNN political analyst said if "you wanted to reduce crime ... if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down."

CNN kept him on. No one really noticed and to this day he defends his comments.

Out in San Francisco someone is wasting tax payer money suing Rock Star Games for "including porn in their Video Game" Grand Theft Auto San Andreas.

Republican law makers are petitioning the FCC to regulate content on PAY TV and Satellite Radio, all subscription based BY CHOICE entertainment.

Radical Extremists have taken over the governments of Palestine, IRAN and Syria. All this while the Bush administration is supposedly spreading Democracy across the Middle East.

Nearing 3000 dead in Iraq and Gas is $2.50 a gallon.

James Frey, a former alcoholic and drug addict gets the touch of gold from Oprah as she chooses his book for her Book Club thus assuring 5 Million Housewives buy it, rocketing it onto the bestseller list. A month later it turns out he made up a lot of it and Oprah verbally spanks him on her show. The book, A Million Little Pieces still is a bestseller on Amazon.com.

FX Network's groundbreaking drama Over There, the first war drama to take place during its actual conflict is cancelled after one season due to low viewership yet American Idol is one of the most watched shows on TV.

Serious Fear and Loathing in America in this year of our Lord.

Pray for us.

On the flipside...

Hooray for Cuzn Rick! His first published book, Dead Men Hike No Trails is in my hands and is on its way to many others! Its a great book and such a rush to see his work in print! No more straining at a PC screen for his Gonzo goodness!

Hooray for the return of Jack Bauer as 24 blasts off for another season on Fox!

What the Beef is currently...

Reading:Dead Men Hike No Trails by Rick Mckiney
Don't Eat this Book by Morgan Spurlock
Among The Missing by Richard Laymon
Listening to: UnderWorld 2 Soundtrack
Julianna Hatfield Greatest Hits
Death Cab For Cutie
The Killer is Me a Smashing Pumpkins Tribute
Ice Cube The Predator
Watching: 24
Lost
Family Guy
West Wing Season 5
The Office
My Name is Earl
Miami Vice reruns on TV land

Have a good week kiddies.

J to the A

I shoudnt drink on Saturdays

2006-01-14T23:55:00.000-05:00

i am drunk

I am pissed

The New England Patriots lost tonight, they got their butts kicked in Denver.

Bastards. I think we were getting spoiled anyway. A good way to put things into perspective.

5 fuckin turnovers. Unbelievable.

Also, a Tennessee TV station has dropped the TV show "Book of Daniel" due to overwhelming complaints from religious Bible thumpers.

Do they know that their goddamn remote controls have a CHANNEL BUTTON????? DONT watch it if you don't like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give me a break!

fuck this, im going to bed.

peace out

Juntin

Movies and Morons

2006-01-08T13:04:00.000-05:00

Lets talk about Movies. I love movies. Anyone that knows anything about me knows the passion I have for the moving picture. I am a film geek to the tenth power. This year was an extremely crappy season for movies. I cant think of any great Summer movies that got me pumped for a trip to the theatre. The few big hit movies I enjoyed were Sin City, Batman Begins and of course the final Star Wars. Sin City was an incredible piece of work and Batman Begins was one of the best comic book movies ever. Star Wars Episode three was...well it was Star Wars, you either love it or you could care less. I am a fanboy.

War of the Worlds? So-So.
Hitch? Blech.
Mr and Mrs Smith? Double Blech.
Bewitched? Kill me now, please.

What we did get was a good dose of Horror films. My all time favorite genre. This year marked the return of George Romero and his Zombie universe he made so famous in Night of The Living Dead. He returned with Land of The Dead and I loved it. Rob Zombie's The Devils Rejects was an incredibly disturbing return to the splatter exploitation films of the 70's. Bloody good stuff.

Saw 2 was one of the most brutally violent movies I saw all year. Not as good as the first but funner and bloodier.

The Amityville Horror remake and the Excorcism of Emily Rose were good mindless horror fun.

The 40 year old Virgin and The Wedding Crashers run off with the dirty comedies with a heart awards.

As far as flat out good dramas I haven't seen Jarhead, Walk the Line, Good Night and Good Luck or Capote yet. But I will.

Now for the garbage of 2005:
White Noise
Bewitched
Alone in The Dark
Elektra
The Ring Two
The Pacifier
Son of The Mask
I could go on for ever.

So this brings me to a little film called Brokeback Mountain. Yes its the Gay cowboy movie. Its been getting mostly raving reviews and has already garnered many award nominations. I will be seeing the film when it comes out on DVD to gauge all the hype around it. Not really my type of movie, gay cowboys or not. I just recently read a news story that disturbed me deeply.

Here is a part of it:

A movie theater owned by Utah Jazz owner Larry Miller abruptly changed its screening plans and decided not to show the film "Brokeback Mountain." The film, an R-rated Western gay romance story, was supposed to open Friday at the Megaplex at Jordan Commons in Sandy, a suburb of Salt Lake City. Instead it was pulled from the scheduleThe movie's distributor, Focus Features, said that hours before opening, the theater management "reneged on their licensing agreement," and refused to open the film.
Gayle Ruzicka, president of the conservative Utah Eagle Forum, said not showing the film set an example for the people of Utah.
"I just think (pulling the show) tells the young people especially that maybe there is something wrong with this show," she said.

Now I am all for a business owner to decide what he wants to carry in his store or sell in his restaurant. I am not really sure how I feel about this though. It is obvious that the owner is a religious person who feels homosexuality is bad so he is not going to allow the film to be shown at his theatre. That's his right I guess but I wouldn't be going to that theatre ever again I lived in that town. What he is doing is making the choice for the people in his community on whether or not they can see this film. Granted I am sure they could go elsewhere but what if he is the only theatre in the area? No one is going to go and see a Gay cowboy movie unless they want to. I don't see how this film will have a negative effect on the youth of Utah. Actually its rated R so the kids cant get in even if they wanted to unless an adult goes with them. I doubt there are young men sneaking in to multiplexes across the country, hoping to see the gay cowboys and then head off into the woods to live out scenes from the movie. Its utterly ridiculous. Censorship in any form is wrong even if it tangles with free speech and personal rights. If I lived in that town I would be sure anyone who wanted too could see the film and I am not even a Gay cowboy. :-)

Speaking of utterly ridiculous I will leave you today with a quote from Pat Robertson, giving us his reasoning for the recent downturn in health of Israeli Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon

"And now Ariel Sharon, who was again a very likeable person, a delightful person to be with. I prayed with him personally. But here he is at the point of death. He was dividing God's land, and I would say woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the EU, the United Nations or United States of America. God said, "This land belongs to me, you better leave it alone." -Pat Robertson

Tee hee

Justin "not a cowboy at all"

P.S-Congrats to The New England Patriots! Three more wins!!

A New Year and a New Look

2006-01-04T13:36:00.000-05:00

Welcome back to the beef for 2006. I have changed the blogs look a little just to add something different. There are also a lot of new links and each week or so I will post some new ones and update the Link of the Moment. I am a notorious Internet Whore and if its online I will find it. Check 'em out when you are bored.

Thanks to all who joined the mailing list. I will be working on a monthly newsletter of some sort and be sure to notify readers of anything cool. Again, anyone interested should email me @ thebeeflog@yahoo.com.

Christmas is over and the New Year is here. I had a great time with friends, up in the woods of Maine, on a lake with a fire going and much partying. A great time and a fitting way to indulge our excesses for the last time in '05. This boy is toning it down quite a bit in '06 simply so there will be an '07 for me to enjoy. I am looking forward to accomplishing much more this year. Not only here but in my personal life as well. Instead of telling everyone all the things I am going to do I am keeping them to myself this year. If I accomplish certain goals I will be sure to share them with everyone and if not, well hell, no one will know anyway right? So my advice to everyone is keep your resolutions to yourself and good luck!

Only a week into the New Year and things are heating up in Washington. This Abramoff guy who is cutting a deal with the Fed's is sure to have some juicy stuff to tell about his many Congressman friends. This could be interesting. Right Wing pundits are already downplaying it. Could it be people are running scared?

I was also going to say "welcome to 2006" to our friend Bill O'Reilly who started the New Year by saying George Soros ,the financier who helps a lot of left wing websites, should "..be hanged". Alas it turns out Bill said it in October of last year and thus does not qualify for a 2006 quote.

Bummer.

If you haven't heard about a little book coming out soon then head over to Lord Dukes site.
Go. Buy Book. Be happy.

This Friday a little movie called "Hostel" opens. If you want to be scared shitless and vomit on your pals go see it. I have been waiting forever and now it is here. Yes, I am a sick puppy.

So stay tuned and we will get the beef kicked off right this weekend. Thanks for sticking around and I look forward to another year of the Beef.

Randomness:

Song you should download right now: "Rhinoceros" by The Smashing Pumpkins

Cuzin Rick! If I don't talk to you before, the answer to your question is the"Evil Dead" series. Those were the movies with Bubba Ho Tep's Bruce Campbell. Good Stuff.

Whoora,

JKA

Have a BEEFLESS X-Mas!!!

2005-12-24T22:19:00.000-05:00

So I know I promised another 2005 list, this one covering the entertainment and fun stuff from 2005 but I have been so busy with X-Mas I am not sure if it will ever come to pass. Everytime I get a great idea for a post I am pulled away to do something Holiday related. You gotta love the Holiday's.

So instead I would just like to use this time to thank everyone who visits this Blog and especially the ones who post comments and let me know what they do and do not enjoy about my crazy ravings. Its been an interesting year personally but having this outlet to vent has really been a joy. So again, Thank You all and I wish you all a Wonderful Christmas and Holiday Season. On that note I realized I wanted to create a mailing list for the beeflog to send thanks or updates on a random basis to my few faithful readers. So, if you would please sign up for my mailing list by sending an email to thebeeflog@yahoo.com. Please include your name and I will be sure to send you emails on updates or other random coolness. Do not worry. I will not share your email with anyone. Unless they offer me a lot of money ;-)

With the first post of the new year I will review some of my favorite and least favorite things of 2005 so in a way you will still get my worthless opinion anyway! Oh and Ill be asking for your input so sharpen your pencils.

Right now across the globe children are staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep due to that overpowering excitement building in their gut. Remember those days? Maybe you would get 2 or 3 hours sleep max and even sometimes I would crawl downstairs and just stare at the gifts knowing that in a few short hours I would soon be in possession of that new toy or video game and probably a really awful sweater from Aunt Flo. For those of you with children remember that's probably what they are feeling right now. And for the rest of us without kids? Well, we get to sleep in!

I want to again congratulate my cousin Rick McKinney on the publication of his first "official" novel. Dead Men Hike No Trails will soon be available from booklocker.com and also on jigglebox.com. Keep an eye out on jiggle for a chance to pre-order a signed copy. Be the first in your neighborhood to get it! I even have the honor of being the photog of the back cover photo! (shameless plug). In all seriousness we are all proud of him and know this will be a positive turning point for an already accomplished artist.

Well that's about it for now. All this goodness is making me feel funny!
Must be the eggnog.

See you in the New Year and don't forget to join the mailing list.

Peace on Earth,
Justin

BEST OF THE BEEF 2005:Part One NEWS and POLITICS

2005-12-14T16:51:00.000-05:00

Holy Shit! I just got finished reading my entire Blog from last year. Lets just say it was a "banner fuckin year" for the old beefmeister. Damn I had a shitty year. Lets see, Jess and I broke up twice, I lost my job, my car blew up and I almost lost my license. I passed on a chance to see Hunter S. Thompson's ashes blown across the Colorado sky, I gained about 20 lbs and I had a 2 complete and utter mental breakdown's! I would have to rate 2005 as one of the worst over all
years in my existence. I guess the fact that I am still alive, still with Jess and have a new job counts for something but shit man, 2006 doesn't have much too live up to that's for sure. I guess this means '06 should be good right? God I hope so.

So we begin the much anticipated BEEFLOG 05 the year in review!! (applause).

On the personal side there isn't much of anything to talk about except for the mind numbingly awful year I had and you can read all about it in the past posts. I had to grin at a few of the posts and was surprised to find I actually liked some of the stuff I had written. I am my own worst critic and usually hate everything I create within minutes of completion. There are some funny and interesting posts to find if you get bored.

After we rehash 2005 there are some great goals we here at the beef intend to accomplish this year. Unlike last year we will actually do everything in our power to do them. I had a laugh at all the things I talked about doing last year and never did or quit after a week or so of trying. I also noticed I used to post like mad in the beginning and that dwindled considerably.

So we without further ado lets take a look at the year that was 2005 through the eyes of yours truly, the beefmeister, sacred keeper of all things that piss us off.

Our First segment is: The NEWS and POLITICS of 2005 Beeflog Style! Enjoy with some toast!

You know I was going to go off on the state of politics in our society and the effect the media hason us but you know what? Let me just post these quotes from my pal John Stewart's The Daily Show. Bill O'reilly, host of "The Foolish Factor" and self appointed right wing windbag has been waging his War to save Christmas. Basically he is pissed because some retail stores are taking "Merry Christmas" and turning it into "Happy Holidays" to make the greeting more "universal". So check out these quotes below and it basically sums up the big fat hypocritical idiot quite soundly and is a good example of the stupidity us moderates have to deal with in the media on a daily basis.

From the December 13 broadcast of Comedy Central's The Daily Show with Jon Stewart:

STEWART: "Fox News' Bill O'Reilly has been at the forefront of defending Christmas, even though until recently Fox News' own online store invited viewers to buy an O'Reilly Factor "Holiday" ornament for their "Holiday tree." In the "war" on Christmas, that's what's known as "friendly fire." But, he still lays the blame on thin-skinned heathens. "
O'REILLY [clip]: I don't believe most people who aren't Christian are offended by the words "Merry Christmas." I think those people are nuts. I think you are crazy if you're offended by the words "Merry Christmas."
STEWART: I actually agree with that. I think they're just words -- Merry Christmas. I think it's innocuous. I don't think there's, really, any way that a sane person could be offended by a silly two-word phrase. You know what Mr. O'Reilly? You're a reasonable man.

[Video Clip from O'reilly's show]

PHILIP NULMAN (advertising and marketing executive): "Season's Greetings" and "Happy Holidays," Bill, does not offend Christians.
O'REILLY: Yes, it does. It absolutely does.

HUH?????? What a complete idiot. He is a walking, lying, evil contradiction. Shame on anyone who takes this guy seriously. I am embarrassed as it is to spend so much time proving what a jack ass he is. Nuff said.

(uncontrollable rant)
This is the sad state of our country right now. Everything is an attack on everything. Everybody is whining about anything.. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Don't torture terrorists......Waaaaaaaaaaa don't let the fags get married....Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ...Don't put a convicted Murderer to death...........waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ...let the girl live like a vegetable and drool and shit herself until she dies of old age, she would want that!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........Let 14 yr old girls have abortions and not tell their folks............waaaaaaa.......Why did those Air Marshalls shoot that insane man screaming about a bomb on the plane.........waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...I am gonna protest everything cuz I can!!!!!!!!!! waaa....We are going to mace the peaceful protesters in the face cuz we are tough cops and they are blocking the entrance to a FUCKIN STARBUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

I am getting sick and tired of it. The lies and the hate. It a cancer that is eating away at us all. On one side you have the extreme right wing fuckheads who take everything in the bible literally and are nothing but sheep who are unable to think for themselves. On the other side you have the far left whining pussies who bitch and complain about EVERYTHING and who basically think we should all run around naked with no laws and no guns and no shred of decency. It makes me want to puke. Has the country always been this divided? Has there always been so much hate and loathing? If God is up there he must be shaking his head and saying "What a motley bunch of fools, hey Jesus, pass me a Diet Snapple."

(end of rant)

Sorry I went off the deep end there for a moment. A tad childish I know but look at the morons we are dealing with here. Lets dive back in!!

A laugh out loud quote from 2005:

"In the past few years, all TV news has become less biased due to the salubrious influence of Fox News." -Ann Coulter Dec 8th, 2005

Hhmm. What does salubrious mean? When I read this line I figured it must mean skewed, or off center maybe but that wouldn't have made sense in the context of the sentence. So I looked it up since I aint into fancy book learning like Anne. Salubrious means.."Favorable to health; promoting health; healthful." Hmm. So I guess she must be suggesting that Fox News is so unbiased that their network actually promotes Health. Maybe by watching such unbiased programs such as Hannity and Combs* and Bill Orielly's No Spin (fuck the fags and hippies) Zone that I may actually lose those extra pounds I put on last year. Who says Anne is callous, shallow and a hate monger?? She may have just helped my peepee look an inch longer :-)
*Check out Al Franken's book "Lying Liars" to find out why combs is so tiny.

So lets jump to the Beeflogs LIAR of The YEAR!!! This award will be given out annually to the person or persons deemed to be the biggest liar and spreader of propaganda and hate in America!! This years winner is.....

You guessed it! Fox NEWS BILL O'REILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly can anyone ever unseat Bill??? Maybe Hitler could have... well maybe, he did have that funky ass stash going
for him. Let the hate mail begin!!

Why did we pick Bill? Well cuz almost everything he says is a BALDFACE LIE!!!! Don't believe me?

Everything Bill O'Reilly says is bullshit: Examples:

O'REILLY: When you say that Bush went to war illegally into Iraq.

DUANE: Yes.

O'REILLY: You are wrong, because the United Nations mandate said that the first Gulf War, cease-fire must be upheld or the United States and all the other coalition partners could go back in. You certainly know that. You don't sign a cease-fire and allow the enemy to disobey it. Come on.

DUANE: And yet the vast majority of the coalition partners did not.

O'REILLY: Doesn't mean it was illegal.

DUANE: Well, they felt it was illegal under international law.

O'REILLY: They did not feel it was illegal. There isn't one country in this world.

O'REILLY: You shouldn't be saying things that aren't true. It was not an illegal invasion to remove Saddam.

Liar, fuckin liar!!!! You fat assed liar!!!!!

"Those are all lies from Billy O'Reilly, not one thing he said is true. Spanish, Canadian, Australian, and a lot of American legal experts say the Iraq war is illegal. Just do a google search on "Iraq War Illegal" and you will see that almost every international law expert agrees that the war in Iraq is illegal. You could disagree with the experts, but to state as fact that no country says the war is illegal and claim it's a fact is dishonest and a lie."

9-18-05 -- O'REILLY: Under President Clinton, the tax rate climbed higher than at any time in history except in World War II.

LIAR!!!!! YOU LIE !!!

The above statement may be the biggest lie O'Reilly has ever spewed out. When Bill Clinton took office in 1992 he raised the top federal tax rate for people who make over $200,000 a year to 39.6 percent, but he gave tax cuts to the middle and lower class. Other than 6 years during the Reagan years from 1987 to 1992 was the top rate lower than 39.6 percent. From 1939 to 1987 the top rate was 50% or higher. So the above statement from O'Reilly is about as big a lie as anyone could spew out.

In the 9-5-05 Most Ridiculous Item of the Day O'Reilly said this:

O'RIELLY:"Our great ally France has offered the following in the wake of Katrina: 600 tents, 1,000 cots, some kitchen kits, 60 generators and 12 experts to advise the American Red Cross. I hope they speak English. Now I believe the 4-H Club of Bangor, Maine, has topped that offer.Why do they even bother? -- Keep your cots."

Here is the full list of what France offered:

France has 35 disaster relief workers ready to leave for the U.S. the minute they are asked

An extra 60-strong disaster relief team

600 tents

1000 camp beds

60 generators

3 Portable Water Tanks

2 planes

2 naval ships

1 hospital ship

Hey I am no fan of the French either but why distort the truth and lie? And why pick a national disaster as a time to pick on another country Why? Afer this quote was made the French surrendered their entire country to Fox News. O'reilly and Hannity have now become President and Vice President respectively and have renamed the country "Merry Christmas". Everyday is Christmas and you must say "Merry Christmas" to everyone you meet or you will be sent to the prison City of San Francisco where you will rot away with the Pagans, Jews, Homos and Democrats and be forced to where a Hillary Clinton mask.
Youre a mean one Mr. Bill.

Our President George..
"It's a myth to think I don't know what's going on. And it's a myth to think that I'm not aware that there is opinions that don't agree with mine. Because I'm fully aware of that. ...I see a lot of the news. Every morning I look at the newspaper I can tell you what the headlines are. I must confess, if I think the story is, like, not a fair appraisal, ...I'll move on." --- Interview with Brian Williams, NBC News, Dec. 12, 2005

....huh?

"This is an urban environment. Right over here is Juarez. And people are able to easily come into the border - into Texas, in this part of - in part of the border." - El Paso, Texas, Nov. 29, 2005

err or something

"Every new citizen of the United States has an obligation to learn our customs and values, including liberty and civic responsibility, equality under God and tolerance for others, and the English language." -Tucson, Arizona, Nov. 28, 2005

I totally agree with almost everything especially the English part but exactly where is the fuckin obligation to associate equality with God?? huh Dubya??

"Ours is a country where people ought to be able to disagree, and I expect there to be criticism. But when Democrats say that I deliberately misled the Congress and the people, that's irresponsible. They looked at the same intelligence I did, and they voted -- many of them voted to support the decision I made." - Gyeongju, South Korea, Nov. 17, 2005

You see Prez, Congress does NOT see all the intelligence you did and either way how does this prove that they were not misled? It doesn't.

*Current Job Approval ratings
President= George Bush= Now 34% Last Year 50%

Vice President =Dick "Heartstopper"Cheney =Now 30% Last Year 35% Shit we always hated his ass.

Secretary of Defense= Donald "Eat Shit and Die!" Rumsfeld =Now 34%

Secretary of State Condy "Toilet Face" Rice =Now 52% It must have been her cameo in the Family Guy Movie.

At this time during his second term President Bubba Clinton had a 57% approval rating. Take that JR!
*Wall Street Journal.com

YOU LIKE ME YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE ME!!!!

ABC News has chosen ME as person of the Year!! Ok, not really. Actually though they chose "Bloggers" as the People of the Year so technically I should be able to give an acceptance speech! So to end this first installment of the Year that Was 2005 The News and Politics Edition

I give you my a speech, accepting the award for Bloggers everywhere!

"Thank you so much for bestowing this award on our Fraternity of Webbing Wordsmiths known as the Bloggers. It has been a great year for the Blogger.

With the country in such disarray it has given us countless hours of bitching and complaining and copying and pasting from other Bloggers that I feel this award should be shared with our current Administration also. The White House's refusal to see three feet past their crooked noses has allowed us to run rampant with conspiracy theories and torrid accusations that would make a Jerry Springer audience proud. From their meddling into the sad case of Terri Schiavo where they chose Religion over the Constitution showed just how far out in right field these folks are. Then the "quagmire" in Iraq..hold on, us Bloggers love that word QUAGMIRE..anyway, to the quagmire in Iraq to the torture of prisoners across the globe our government has given us ample opportunity to expose the once powerful and respected country we once were as the bullying monarchy we have become.

The Religious right has also helped our cause giving us no end to their bible thumping rhetoric and hate they create in the ultimate expression of "we are right, you are Satan".

Thank you Pat Robertson for being such a jack ass. Thank You Enron and Haliburton and thank you Dick Cheney's heart for holding out long enough to expose him for the Old Skull and Bones war mongering greedy pasty white male that he is. Thank You Anne Coulter for having a Vagina. If you had a penis we would call you Sean Hannity and no one would give a shit.

Lest we not forget the far left in this time of thanks. Oh no they have given us just as much fuel to feed the fire of discontent. The Democrats complete refusal to grow a pair of balls has helped the Republicans look like the "people" party and that folks must have took a monumental breakdown to make happen. John Kerry has shown us just what a rich ,boring, lifer politician looks like and what can we say about Howard Dean that hasn't already been said?

"yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghjggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Special thanks to Michael Moore for starting the revolution with such great films like "Bowling for Columbine"and the propaganda filled but not too far off the mark "Fahrenheit 9/11" We thank him again for shooting himself in the foot and making liberals sound like traitorous commies with quotes like :

''The Iraqis who have risen up against the occupation are not 'insurgents' or 'terrorists' or 'The Enemy.' They are the REVOLUTION, the Minutemen, and their numbers will grow -- and they will win.''

Thank's Mike, we will be sure to let the family's of dead serviceman and women know that. Thanks to the ultra liberal legislation of Massachusetts, the state of my birth. Only in Mass. can a 55 yr old Women with no traffic violations pay the same in car insurance as a 16 yr old boy with 5 accidents. Also in liberal Mass., where you cannot buy alcohol on Sunday's or open your Grocery store on Thanksgiving without the threat of being fined or closed down thanks to ancient blue laws written back when you could flog your wife in public for burning your toast. And we must not forget the commonwealth's greatest asset to their community. The "Equal Force" law. If an intruder breaks into your house and threatens to kill and rape your family you better run the other way because if you shoot him you will go to jail. And that aint no joke folks. It warms are hearts that Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney will be running for President in 2008. He has done such a fine job in liberal Taxachusettes.

Most of all we thank Hillary Clinton, the transplanted belle from Arkansas who decided New York would be a good place to run for Senate. In 2008 if Hillary runs we Bloggers may just get this award again! Bubba as First Man!!?? Warm up your PC's brothers and sisters!! Yahooo! "

As a final note and a serious one. The Beeflogs true person of year is the American Soldier. No matter what side of the fence you are one we must honor and respect them for the job they are doing right now. We can only hope one way or another we can get them home as soon as possible. And to all my liberal and moderate friends out there if any right wing fascist even dares to look at you and say you are against the troops because you are against the war you grab them by the throat and shove their goddamn bible up their ass and say:

"Don't you dare tell me what I am and what I am not against you ignorant sheep.Go back to your church or your Health Spa and start thinking for yourself for a change and not what you hear on right wing talk radio you spineless maggot.!"

And if that don't work pull down your pants. They will run like bitches.

Hoping for a better year in 2006,

The Beefmeister,

Your Master of Ceremonies

NEXT POST: 2005's BEST OF ENTERTAINMENT BEEFSTYLE! AWOOGA!

Yuletide Yawnings w/ congrats in Order

2005-12-06T16:32:00.000-05:00

With the approach of Christmas and the New Year I am close to celebrating a full year of the Beeflog. At times it has been informative, funny, morose, overly personal and juvenile among other things. It has been fun and definitely served its purpose as far as being a form of therapy for me. I am glad some of you still stop by from time to time. At first I managed to post nearly everyday but of course that changed to once a week then to a few times a month. That's what happens when you suddenly need to find time for something else during your already hectic week. Oh and a little laziness doesn't help either.

So with the new year nearly here I will partake in some early resolutions. One being to at least post here once a week with my ultimate goal being multiple weekly posts. Hopefully I have better luck then I do on my many ill fated diets. Speaking of diets I planned on getting back into shape come the new year but after squeezing into my jeans this a.m and basically feeling like a bloated blob of beef and barley I think I will hasten the process.

My weight fluctuates more than the stock market and is about as reliable. My cousin once likened it to Robert Deniro's uncanny ability to bulk up for a role then shed the excess fat like a layer of dead skin. Each year when we met I could be170lbs or 230. Depends on the role. The role of course being my state of mind and whether or not I was comfortable with my place in the universe at that given time. I'm ready to quit the "Raging Bull" years and move on to the "Cape Fear", lean and mean physique. See ya Jake Lamotta, Hello Max Cady.

Also, be prepared for the first annual "Best of the Beef" postings coming soon to this blog. Every once in a while I will grace my lucky readers with witty thoughts on some of my favorite things from 2005 whether it be a music album, movie or politician. Should be fun.

Now we come to some congratulations that are in order! Lord Duke, aka Jester aka my mad cousin Rick has finished his long awaited novel and it has been accepted for publication!! Its final title is "Walking Off My Own Funeral" and it is a wonderful and new refreshing voice for the desperate artists we special people harbor inside of us all. Take the journey with him on his Appalachian Trail adventure and we will meet you on the other side.

If you know not of what I speak I say Shame on you and head your ass over to his Blog @ http://www.jigglebox.com/blog05.html

Now get out there and commute. Don't you got some shoppin to do?

Natch,

Snoop Double J

P.S= You did it! OZNOG for life!

Near Whiteout Conditions

2005-11-24T11:52:00.000-05:00

"Hear the sound of the falling rain
Coming down like an Armageddon flame (Hey!)
The shame The ones who died without a name
Hear the dogs howling out of key
To a hymn called "Faith and Misery" (Hey!)
And bleed, the company lost the war today

I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday"-Holiday-Green Day

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Thanks to all who stop by and read my silly blog. Hope you all and yours have a great day. Here in NH this a.m. its snowing hard out making us wonder just how many folks will make it to dinner! Its almost a whiteout.

So I put the Green Day quote above since it's probably my favorite song and album of the year even if pop radio is killing it. Green Day's -American Idiot is quite simply an incredible and timely album especially with everything that is going on in the world right now and Holiday is a classic modern anti-war song. Be sure to pick up Green Day's new double live disc "Bullet in a Bible". Its an incredible live performance of all of American Idiot plus their other hits on CD and a awesome live DVD concert from England. Highly Recommended from the Beefmiester.

Have a great day,

justin

Have a non offensive Turkey Day

2005-11-22T19:36:00.000-05:00

So how festive can we really feel this holiday season? We still live in a bitterly divided country where smear tactics and political hate infect the very fabric of our people. We are one messed up country folks. While people lined up for days to get their hands on the new X-Box 360 game console from Microsoft the debate in the House of Representatives was reaching its boiling point. The White House sent Dick Cheney up to the plate to basically call all who oppose the war in Iraq as unpatriotic, anti American and against our troops. Cheney's comments were insulting to say the least.

On the House floor in Washington Rep. John P. Murtha (D-PA) called for the immediate redeployment of U.S. forces from Iraq and immediately generated heated debate and retaliation from the right. Murtha, a decorated Vietnam Vet and former POW said "The war in Iraq is not going as advertised. It is a flawed policy wrapped in illusion. The American public is way ahead of us. The United States and coalition troops have done all they can in Iraq, but it is time for a change in direction. Our military is suffering. The future of our country is at risk. We can not continue on the present course. It is evident that continued military action in Iraq is not in the best interest of the United States of America, the Iraqi people or the Persian Gulf Region."

His plan called for:

To immediately redeploy U.S. troops consistent with the safety of U.S. forces.
To create a quick reaction force in the region.
To create an over- the- horizon presence of Marines.
To diplomatically pursue security and stability in Iraq

The Republicans fumed. They sent out Cheney to bark back:

"What is not legitimate -- and what I will again say is dishonest and reprehensible -- is the suggestion by some U. S. Senators that the President of the United States or any member of his administration purposely misled the American people on pre-war intelligence. Some of the most irresponsible comments have come from politicians who actually voted in favor of authorizing the use of force against Saddam Hussein. These are elected officials who had access to the intelligence materials. They are known to have a high opinion of their own analytical capabilities."

Notice that Cheney included "misled by The President OR any member of his administration".
He should have just included the President. Anyone with half a brain knows that the intelligence was bent and molded to fit what the administration fed us as "Overwheming evidence". Remember Colin Powell at the UN and all the cool photos of fuel rods and Mobile chemical weapon labs???
And who can forget this ditty-"Saddam Hussein is harboring terrorists and the instruments of terror, the instruments of mass death and destruction. And he cannot be trusted. The risk is simply too great that he will use them, or provide them to a terror network," President Bush said in Cincinatti in 2002

The Republicans right wing radio mouthpieces gleefully joined the Republican hate parade calling Murtha "an opportunist" and "the useful idiot of the moment"

Cheney was a bit late in trying to mend the administrations disaster in Iraq. Opinion polls show that 55 to 57 percent of Americans believe the Bush administration was intentionally misleading in the run up to war. That kind of mistrust is why the question of the administration's integrity has become a part of American politics. Whether or not Democrats voted to go or not just shows that they believed the same hogwash most of the country believed when over 66% agreed to go after Hussein. So why cant a Congressman changed his mind?

Rather than address any of the allegations against the administration, however, Cheney used a handful of regurgitated arguments and age old assertions to make his points. And he took no questions.

So the Republicans introduced their own measure calling for the "immediate withdrawal of all troops" with no viable timetable attached unlike Murtha's measure. Murtha's resolution, which cited polling data, the cost of the war, and the rising American death toll, called for the redeployment of U.S. forces "at the earliest practicable date," the maintaining of strategic military presence in the region, and continued diplomatic efforts in Iraq.

The Republicans resolution contained a single line: "Resolved, [t]hat it is the sense of the House of Representatives that the deployment of United States forces in Iraq be terminated immediately."

The Republicans measure was soundly voted down just as they had planned. The right wing media machine jumped on this at once claiming that it was Murtha's measure that was voted down. It wasn't. The Republican version was voted down and of course it was significantly different than Murtha's. This of course did not stop Fox News Sean Hannity and John Gibson to report on Fox that Murtha's measure was "voted down". Murtha's was never even voted on. Fair and balanced indeed.

Of course how could a political beef be complete without Fox News Right Wing Whore Bill O'Reilly spewing more shit smelling vile from deep inside his spitefull belly O' hate. This time though I agree somewhat with Bill's argument. Well sort of.

He has been going off on retailers that have changed their Holiday greeting policy. Major retailers such as KB Toys and FAO Schwarz will now use the greeting "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" so they wont offend people of other faiths who do not celebrate Christmas. I find this pretty stupid myself. The vast majority of Americans celebrate Christmas. Though Christmas is a "religious" holiday, if you asked 90% of American kids today what Christmas represents they will say "presents!" Either way retailers that feel the need to offend Christians in order to not offend the minority so they can save sales is idiotic. I am not a practicing "Christian" and even I find this silly. I am not going to get my panties in a bunch over it though. If it truly offended me I would shop elsewhere. That's my choice and its KB Toys choice however skewed it may be.

Well, Bill O'Reilly will have none of this. Listen to Bill swill the hate on Fox News: Bill O'Reilly claimed that "it's all part of the secular progressive agenda ... to get Christianity and spirituality and Judaism out of the public square." He then added: "because if you look at what happened in Western Europe and Canada, if you can get religion out, then you can pass secular progressive programs, like legalization of narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will, gay marriage, because the objection to those things is religious-based, usually."
This guy is out in left field. He is truly a warped individual. I am sure FAO Shwartz will have an abortion booth and a gay marriage chapel added soon. Bill needs to lay off the coffee. Bill believes that the retailers "understand the anger that's going to be engendered by millions of Americans who believe that their cherished holiday is being denigrated, disrespected."

I haven't yet run into many of the "millions of Americans" yet who are going to take to the streets this holiday to put the "Christmas" back in "Merry" but once I see them I will report it here. One thing is for sure if some parent can get their greedy hands on an Xbox 360 for Junior you can bet they will buy it from "Habeebs house of Satanic Fist Fucking" if they have too!. Happy Chanuka!!

Enjoy your Turkey Day and be sure not to insult any poultry in the process.

Being Merry,
J

A Call to Arms!!

2005-11-16T19:30:00.000-05:00

Thats it. I cant take it anymore. I need to scream this loud so the whole world can hear me. I HATE BILL OREILLY"S FAT POMPOUS ASS! I usually try not to let these things bother me so much. I am a moderate, a progressive Independent. I cant stand lefty democrats and I despise the radical right but Bill O'reilly trancends all definitions. He is quite simply a piece of filth ridden shit. The more I hear him talk and listen to his lies and his constant spinning of the facts I want to puke. Everyone has the right to speak their mind but this jack ass acts like HE IS THE TRUTH! Only on his lame radio show and atrocious TV program can you hear the truth and enter the "no spin zone!" No spin zone??? Give me a break.

The biggest thing is that he chastises ANYONE who dares to lie or distort the truth yet that is all this man does day in and day out.
He has been in the news lately after calling for Al Queda to blow up San Fransisco because they banned Military Recruitment in Non Federal funding School Campuses. You can see his actual quote in my last post. There is currently a Boycott in effect that i will tell you more about later but for now peruse this true story. Back in 2003 Bill Oreilly started a "fake book" race. This is a perfect example of the kind of person Bill Oreilly is.

Back in September 23, 2003, Bill O’Reilly’s latest book, "Who's Looking Out For You?," hit bookshelves across the United States. Mr. O. was in all his pompous glory as he predicted he would debut at the top of the New York Times Best-Seller List. He tirelessly pitched his book day after day on his television program, ensuring a self-fulfilled prophecy. Indeed, Bill debuted in the top spot and promptly reminded his viewers of his prediction.

There was a problem, though. Books penned by liberals Al Franken and Michael Moore were suddenly knocking him from the perch his ego fondly calls home. This was problematic for Mr. O and his fragile psyche. So, how could Bill pump up book sales? Well, he could peddle it every single fucking day on the his highly rated cable news program. Consider it done. Still, there must be a way to sell more. But how?Although his arch-rival Al Franken's satirical book "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them" proved to be his greatest competition, Bill seemed more preoccupied with Hillary Clinton's "A Living History."

Suddenly, he announced there was a race between sales of his book and Clinton’s. It was a curious race to be sure. Why was there a race? Why would the race be with Hillary and not Al Franken, who put a rather nasty photo of Mr. O on the cover? In fact, Mr. Franken dedicated an entire sectionof his book to O'Reilly's lies. But would a race with Al Franken help his book sales? Probably not. Who would Bill be able to position his book against? Enter Hillary, the long-established whipping bitch of the lunatic right. Soon phrases like "If you don't want Hillary to win ..." were casually thrown about. It was clear the race was going to be a heated one, except for the inconvenient fact that Ms. Clinton apparently had no idea she was in it. Still, it was up to "the folks" to show her.

Bill had found a whole new way to tap into the common man’s latent love of literature: spite.

Just out of the starting gates, however, ol’ Bill was already looking like a longshot. Hillary had quite a head start. How could Bill win? It looked bleak, but then some stunning surprise evidence surfaced.In the December 16 installment of "The O’Reilly Factor’s homage to Voltaire, The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day, glad tidings came from the heartland’s humblest of outposts: Costco."While I was signing (the book), a Costco manager handed me a sheet of paper with sales figures. As you know, we are in a fight with Hillary Clinton for bestselling non-fiction book of the year. Since September, in Costcos across the country, ‘Who's Looking Out for You?’ has sold 96,000. Hillary's book has sold less than 9,000 copies. Ninety-six thousand. Nine thousand. We've got a real shot at overtaking Mrs. Clinton. We have two weeks to do it. Ridiculous? Only if you're rooting for her. "

Okay, there are like ninety things wrong with this statement. Here are three:
1. "As you know, we're in a fight"? What the fuck is he talking about? Who started the fight? Does Hilary know this thing has escalated from a fake race to a fake fight? It is becoming abundantly clear that Bill needs to up his meds.
2. Are the sales at a single Costco a representative sampling of total book sales?
3. "Only if you're rooting for her?" People are rooting? Rooting for what? Seriously, he's fucking nuts.

With two weeks left in the year, conservative web journalist Matt Drudge got hold of the sales figures and reported that O'Reilly wasn't even close to hitting Clinton's number. In fact, he was also getting slaughtered by Franken. This report would infuriate O'Reilly to no end. He stopped at nothing to spin this one, which is odd since as I said before, Bill says he detests "spin" and claims to only rely on factual information. Drudge, who simply reported the Nielsen numbers, was all but spin-proof in this case. The only facts O'Reilly had seen fit to report thus far had been meticulously gleaned from a Long Island Costco manager.

On December 18, the fake race was once again the subject of The Most Ridiculous Item of The Day ... ironic, I know. "As for the race between Hillary's book and ‘Who's Looking Out?’ we are closing in. Broadway Books has gone back for a sixth printing since September, bringing the total of ‘Who's...’ in print to close to a million. The senator has sold around a million, but a good amount of those were purchased by the Democratic National Committee. That doesn't count, Senator."

Okay, I hate to use chat jargon, but ROTFLMAO. "That doesn't count, Senator" is truly a classic line. Is he serious? Is he sending her a personal message? Is he accusing her of cheating in the race? THE FAKE FUCKING RACE!!??!?? His fans are morons … Sorry, I meant to say "fucking morons."

Friday, December 19, 2003: O'Reilly is at it again:"The Palm Beach Post is reporting that Senator Hillary Clinton signed books for hundreds of people down in Florida -- but the average time they gotwith her? Each person? (just) eight seconds. Eight! Whoa. Mrs. Clinton has had time to do scores of signings around the country, but I've only had time to do four because I have to work. I'd love to be down there in South Florida signing copies of ‘Who's Looking Out for You?’ Believe me, you'd get more than eight seconds with me, although some folks think that's too much time."

Classic O'Reilly. First he says Hillary isn't spending enough time with each person at her book signings and then in the next fucking sentence he says Hillary is spending all this time running around the country doing signings while he has to "work"... implying she doesn't... or that she's at least shirking her duties. So she's ONLY spending eight seconds with each person, but she shouldn't be spending ANY time with them at all. So what is his point? And then my favorite part: Even though he can't spend any time with you the viewer at a booking signing, he promises he'd spend more time with you than dumb ol' Hillary did, but he can't. WHAT?

On Friday, January 2, 2004 he reiterates why he's losing the fake race. Apparently he's too busy looking out for the folks. "I've received a ton of letters asking why I don't travel around the country doing signings for ‘Who's Looking Out for You?’ Hillary Clinton has dozens of events for her book, and the smear people are all over the place. But I have to work doing both radio and TV daily, and air travel throughout the USA is brutal." Poor, poor Bill.

So the race is over. Wow, it must have been a close one. Bill tried so hard to win. Maybe he did. Maybe it was close. Even if Hillary won, it was because she cheated. I searched for the published results of book sales for 2003. Would Bill be one ahead of Hillary? Did he win in spite of his fake nemesis’ lies and cheating? Would he be just a shade behind Hillary? Yeah, but then he could still claim moral victory because of all the DNC copies.

The final results of 2003 book sales were printed in the March 22nd issue of Publisher's Weekly.

Hillary Clinton: 1,546,000
Bill O'Reilly: 932,750

You see, Bill is a piece of shit liar. The whole fucking thing was a lie from the beginning. He wasn’t even fucking close. And the really nice part of all this is that he personally made money off of every fool who believed it and rushed out to buy another book. Well, at least he's stealing from stupid, stupid people. And when I say that, I mean "the folks."

Well, Bill lost the race, although I don’t believe he has ever admitted to it. I think he just moved the finish line to some secret date in the future. Not a specific date yet. Just a date when he can say that he has sold more books than Hillary. It’ll be nice for the people who are rooting.

On January 8, 2004; Bill still was delusional: "(Drudge) has repeatedly misled his readers about book sales. He quotes the Nielsen Group and says Hillary's book is this and that, the smear books are this and that, and O'Reilly's book doesn't measure up, na da da da da. Nonsense. And Drudge knows it. "

Okay, so Drudge quoted a report from the Nielsen company. He, unlike O’Reilly, didn’t make it personal at all. He quoted facts. Where did he say that O’Reilly’s book didn’t "measure up’? Oh, that’s right, Bill’s a delusional fuck whose paranoia, conspiracy theories and low self-esteem cloud nearly everything, especially reality. "This coming Sunday will mark the fifth week ‘Who's Looking Out for You?’ is number one on The New York Times bestseller list."

You see now, he's just nuts. It doesn't even matter who sold more books at this point. Bill's all alone in the race. He's just a pathetic ranting lunatic. He even got his publisher to fight his silly battle.
"My publisher actually sent Drudge a letter saying that the Nielsen company does not count book sales from many major department stores and other places. ‘Who's Looking Out for You?’ does great business in these venues. "

Well Bill, you’re right on this one, they don’t count your sales in those venues. But guess what? They don’t count Hillary’s either, you dumb fuck. So it’s a wash."

"For example, at Costco, we've outsold Hillary since September nine to one."

HOLY FUCK! The imbecile just brought up Costco again.

(thanks to mediamatters.org, billoreillysucks.com and sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com for all the facts on the "spin master" himself!)

Jammin-J

Say Thank You to a Veteran

2005-11-12T12:02:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Veterans Day. To me this Holiday means so much more than all the rest. We thank the men and women who offer themselves up as the ultimate sacrifice for our liberty and freedom. No matter how we feel about the current conflict we all must remember that the veterans and our troops are the backbone of our freedoms. Without them the flag would fall and other countries would walk over us much like the Nazi's did to the useless French. In my opinion the WW2 generation was our countries greatest. Thousands of men joined the armed forces after Pearl Harbor and the entire country rallied around our President and our troops. Women went to work 60 hour weeks in factories to help the war effort, children collected cans and scrap metal and fuel oil was rationed so our tanks and planes had enough gas to crush the Nazi's in Europe and the Japs in the pacific. It was a most Patriotic time. Short newsreel films were showed before movies to keep the public informed of the war effort and to drum up help and support. My god how times have changed.

Now our men and women are dying in the desert and a lot of people really don't know why. There is no Patriotic furver, most children couldn't even point out Iraq on a map. Calling Saddam Hussein another Hitler is giving the piece of crap too much credit. Hitler nearly conquered all of Europe and Africa. Saddam was lucky to have total control of his country.

Either way I am not here to argue the war today. All veterans and members of our armed forces deserve our admiration whether they fought in highly respected conflicts like the World Wars or had to fight in misguided police actions like Vietnam, Korea or Iraq. I thank them all and so should you.

In other news lets see what the radical right was saying during the week when they should have shut their fat heads for just a day or 2 and been honoring our countries Veterans. Then again that's what these soldiers died for. Freedom of speech. I wonder if this is what they had in mind as they slogged through a distant jungle or hunkered down during a blizzard in France.

More negativity and hate from the same idiots.

"If Al Qaida comes in here and blows you [San Franciscans] up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead."
--Bill O'Reilly expressing his views that fags and liberal's need to be blown up by terrorist's.

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover [Pennsylvania]: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city. ... God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever. ... If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."
-- Pat Robertson damning Dover P.A to hell for passing a law that would teach Darwinism an ALTERNATIVE to creationism.

God bless America.

-J- to the-A

Scurrying like rats in the House of Bush

2005-10-30T07:41:00.000-05:00

Its starting now. With the indictment of I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, our Vice President Cheney's Chief of Staff, on perjury and obstruction charges today we are seeing this administrations true colors come to light and even the most jaded conservatives are having trouble defending them. Libby was "a driving force behind the administration's march to war against Iraq and helped assemble evidence -- later proven false -- asserting that Saddam Hussein possessed weapons of mass destruction, which became the rationale for the U.S.-led invasion."

After years of lies and deceit the house of Bush is becoming mortal and we the people are finally getting our head's out of our collective asses.

They are scurrying for cover on Pennsylvania Ave. The support for the war is at an all time low as is Bush's approval rating. But does he care? He got his 4 more years. It will be his legacy that will be stained and it will be a hell of a lot more stained then any "dress".

Thanks again Ohio.

getting ready for a revolution,

Juntin

Nice try Gus

2005-10-29T09:33:00.000-04:00

Saturday Morning, post insomnia.

I had my first paralyzing dream last night. You know the one where you wake up and you cannot move. Totally paralyzed. Freaked the shit out of me. I think it may have to do with a few things. One, I couldn't sleep a goddamned wink last night and two, I couldn't get the pseudo Kurt Cobain biopic movie Lord Duke and I had just suffered through out of my head.
I am a huge Nirvana fan and equally intrigued with Kurt Cobain. I still have a tattered scrapbook containing all the news clippings of his suicide and all the major magazines covering his death. Its funny how teenagers in the 60's kept scrapbooks of The Beatles and dreamy photos of Davey Jones and this teenager kept a scrapbook of his dead hero with dreary photos of his splayed out legs, post shotgun blast to Valhalla. But I digress.

So when I learned that Film Director Gus Van Sant was helming a Biopic about Cobain titled "Last Days" I couldn't think of a better guy to bring it to the screen. After all this is the Director who has brought us such great pictures like "Good Will Hunting", "My Own Private Idaho" and my personal favorite "Drugstore Cowboy". Of course the Cobain estate would not give Van Sant permission to use Kurts name or songs so they created a character named "Blake". Blake is based on Cobain as he is a doped out grunge rocker who is hiding out at his home in the woods of the Pacific Northwest, ignoring friends, family,bandmembers and even a private detective. But then again its not Kurt at all. Sure he looks like him and dresses EXACTLY like him and even plays a song very much like a tune Kurt would pen but its not Kurt. In fact you would really have no damn idea what this film was really about unless you were aware of Cobain and his story. Maybe Gus figured everyone knows Cobain's story. I would like to think Kurt's last day on earth wasn't much like Van Sant's version. Blake walks through the woods, makes some food, mumbles to himself incoherently all while avoiding practically everyone around him. The film itself looks beautiful. The rich colors and cinematography is spot on. It's a wonderful film to look at. That's where the wonder ends. Whoever did the sound for the dialouge should be shot. The ambient noises (the church bells) and foley work (your basic sound effects) is great but every time someone speaks (which is rare) you will find yourself cranking your TV or surround volume up to Spinal Tap 11. Prepare to keep adjusting the volume and whatever you do, do not watch this at night if there is anyone sleeping in your house. It will drive you crazy trying to be courteous to your snoozing roomies while trying to figure out what the fuck Blake is saying to his bowl of Cocoa Puffs. He continues to stumble around his Castle like home while his roomies crank the Velvet Underground and continue on using Blake for all he's worth. Eventually we come to the end and we all know what happens there. At this point, and I am copping from many other reviewers here, we start to egg Blake on and hope this trip to the greenhouse is his last so he can put himself and we the viewers out of our collective misery.

With "Last Days", Van Sant brings us the eye candy with no flavor. I can see why all the Nirvana fans are up in arms. "Blake" is no Kurt and with the exception of a wonderful song written and performed in the film by Michael Pitt who plays Blake all is pretty much lost. Then after all this, the movie nearly redeems itself at the end when Van Sant pulls an incredibly simple but moving shot in the greenhouse that evokes the only true image of Kurt and you don't know if you should smile or cry. You will know it when you see it.

All in all, "Last Days" is a great looking but very arty piece of crap. If you can make it through the film I applaud you and I hope Kurt forgives Gus. I know his heart was in the right place but he misses the mark here. So rent "Last Days" at your own risk and be prepared to keep your finger on the volume button.

keeping his finger somewhere,

justino

Shut Up Already!!!

2005-10-29T09:19:00.000-04:00

I Agree. I have spent so much time using this Blog as more of an online journal that it has strayed far from its roots. I miss writing about the news and politics, entertainment, sports and general observations. The few who read this must moan in terror as they read another post about my "crazy" life. Enough I say. Pull yer pants up boy and get back to the good stuff.

Right On!

The other day Jess said when reading my Blog she felt like "she was reading my diary." I don't mind sharing parts of my personal life with the few who come here. Granted there are only about three regulars and they are all friends or family. Still, if I want to attract a more diverse readership I have get back to the basics. So here is a fitting epitaph to all the bullshit I have been writing about lately and then..well then its back to the good stuff.

And lots of it. I promise.

I am staying put for now. I am giving success here the full shot it deserves. Jess and I are going to make it happen and I have just started working for a past employer in the sales field who actually welcomed hiring me back. Things are looking up and we plan to hunker down and get through this winter. One day at a time folks.

So now all you have to do is scroll up to the next post and we can back to the beef the way it was and will be....

Thanks for stopping by.

Jumping J

Atop Mt. Doom (part two)

2005-10-23T13:39:00.000-04:00

The chirping is gone.

The stress level has dropped significantly. There were no apologies or concessions but things have gone back to normal.

Peace and quiet has returned somewhat with the exception of our Kitten who tends to find anything available to cause some type of noise. Its not that bad though, it could be worse. At least he is potty trained .I have been doing a lot of thinking these last few days. I have been playing with the idea of heading out West and leaving behind the cold winter air of NH and see if I can find my way in the sun of the Arizona desert. The freedom to search for answers has been overpowering. Lord Duke as always promised nothing but his support and answered all the questions I had. There is work, there is beautifull land and adventures to be had. This all opened up a conflict like nothing else I have experienced. How much am I willing to sacrifice for peace of mind? Would leaving here be a decision I would regret forever?

I played with the idea with Jess. I wanted to see if moving and starting anew would be something she would be interested in. At first she seemed intrigued though she said it would be a while before we could do such a thing. Soon though she decided that she is happy with her job and even the area in which we lived. I was bummed but not surprised. She has worked hard at her job and she is comfortable there. This just added so much more to the equation. Not only would I alienate some family by shirking off some of my Debt I would be leaving Jess behind.

Suddenly I had to look long and hard at this decision.

This Friday I returned to the Chalet in Maine. I met Dukes hiker friend Blister Sister and Mary Margerita of Texas. Very nice people indeed and we drank and were merry even though the wa conflict in the back of my head was still there, constantly worrying me. What am I going to do? Later, in a semi drunken haze my cousin mapped out the area in AZ in which he lived. He showed me how close we would be to the Mexican border and the cool little town of Bisbee AZ. I have heard so much about Old Bisbee. Still though I went to bed with a heavy heart.

The whole way home the next day I looked forward to seeing Jess again. Even with the impending decisions I still do not like being away from her for very long. It really made me think. The seesaw in my mind had righted itself level again. The call of freedom in the desert on one end and the chance to make a run here and make it work like so many have done before me teetering on the other.

Last night I watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy again. I love adventure movies and more so situations of extreme sacrifice for a good cause. I know its only fiction but the perils one can overcome can be so inspirational. Just how much is one person willing to sacrifice? Do I want to work at a shit hole factory for $9 an hour? Do I want to rent off my Parents and live under their roof at the age of 31? Of course not.

But do I have to run thousands of miles away and give up so much to find happiness?

I am starting to think the answers are beginning to come and they are not at all what I expected. Time is short and I have begin to plan out some ideas. A few signs came to me today. I also awoke much calmer then I have in a week. Its time to fight back so to speak and take control of my own destiny and stop giving up so easily.

Every man deserves happiness but not everyone will achieve this. Everyone needs to be able to look themselves in the mirror and say at least they tried and gave it everything they had.

If I was to say that now I would be a liar.

One thing is for sure, I am not going down without a fight. You can count on that.

Looking towards the future,
J

Down the Rabbit hole (part one)

2005-10-19T14:17:00.000-04:00

The chirp from above continues just as it has since we returned. The fire alarm that is hard wired into the unfinished upstairs bedroom has been chirping relentlessly since Sunday. After resetting it then replacing the batteries it seemed to stop briefly. Then it began again that evening and continues to hound us, one chirp at a time. Its funny how such a simple little thing can help bridge the gap from annoyance to total insanity. Maybe its a sign. A count down of some sort. Time being shaved from reality one minute at a time.

Chirp

Chirp

Chirp.

Whatchoo gonna do little birdie?

Its been nearly a month since I last posted here. I returned a few times and promised more to come but none did. It has been extremely hard to return. I wrote so much before because I had the perfect set up. I sat at a computer for eight hours a day. I had the internet and more than enough time to jot down my thoughts at any moment. That was then and this is now. When I was unemployed I had no desire to write. I lost all my fire. It always happens that way. I tend to shirk a lot of things when I am living on the frindge between paychecks. Writing, keeping int otuch with friends and even showering. I try only to concentrate on one thing and that is survival. How am I going to get myself out of this mess? I do fix the problems eventually. Somehow I pull it all together at the last second and start over again. New job, new home, new relationship..whatever. Its a never ending cycle I have put myself on. I take full responsibility for the paths I have taken through life. Some I regret and some I don't. Most I just take for what they were. Living. Just living day to day like every other shmuck out there. I have had so many jobs and lived so many different places I have lost track. One thing has remained constant though after all these years. Not once have I felt content. Whenever I would start to feel comfortable something else would toss in its monkey wrench be it a women or a new boss or drugs or just plain laziness on my part. Whatever the cause it always has the same ending and we start anew. The chirping upstairs is a constant reminder of this.

I find myself now, sitting here finally able to get these words out and write them down . It has been a extremely strange week. Things had nearly imploded a month ago after I left the desk job. Ultimatum's were issued, tensions ran high but again I was able to save things at the last minute though the situation was less than desirable. First off it was putting myself and Jess into deeper debt with family and putting more pressure on us to perform. Jess has held up her end of the job dynamic wonderfully and I have kept the peace here on the homefront the best I could. We then introduced a tiny but significant dynamic to the Household. A Kitten. It went smooth at first but after some misunderstandings and other crap things went from bad to worse. The new job I took in town was a joke. I tricked myself into thinking I could handle a $5 an hour paycut and go back to doing the type of work I loathed and swore to never do again. Jess tried to warn me away from this path but I had no choice. I dove in and started the clock again. Things settled down and were running ok. That was until we fell down the rabbit hole. We were enveloped into a fog that hid some kind of vortex and we were sucked though and spat out the other side. Sounds crazy doesnt it?

This past weekend was the great escape. We traveled to Maine to visit Lord Duke at his Fathers chalet on Moose Lake. Jess and I had looked forward to this break for weeks and after a long sweaty work week and a some problems involving the kitten we were off. As expected it was a great time even if we may have overdone some of the partying. My cousin wrote a wonderful poem on Saturday evening that summed it up perfectly.

the fog

I told them to please bring along the fog
they did
reliable
faithful as Giesel's elephant
better than a five star chef with his shopping list of vital
ingredients
that's Gino when it comes to the fog
Gino and his companion Gwyneth
she of snow white skin, bottle green eyes, tangerine hair
he Italian handsome and of appetite, of a body that fluctuates with his level of comfort and stress
like a method actor changing roles twice yearly
I never know the role until I see him again
Packed on for Raging Bull, dropped for The Machinist, then once again robust for his part in the fiction we've been playing for years, as my attorney in HST's opus F and L.
Gino of my blood, my insecurities
Gino of dreams and potential that grow closer every day to certain fruition
he doubts
we all doubt
together we dream and hope and scheme
while humankind bangs its collective head against walls of ignorance
we cannot lose
we are the hope that the world unknowingly leans on
we are Roald Dahl's dreammakers
and we will have our day
for now, however, the fog is a comfort
the perfect accompaniment to Bridgeton drizzle and Moose Pond's water level rising with the rain, still rising
at dawn it reached the porch steps
by noon: the six steps up to the stoop
by three it had achieved our knees, our waists, and midway up our chests, such that now we needn't bend to brush our teeth
the South Pacific had its tsunami
then New Orleans in Katrina drowned
now it appears it's New England turn
and the water rises til it tops the chimney
but are we worried?
heavens no
for we have the fog
a panoply of prescription pills
one to cure every ill
and in the fog that Gino brought
we float and grow gills
breath long island ice tea and beer from the can
and in chorus say "Groovy" with campy Bruce Campbell
as Evil Dead 2 gurgles away on the sodden TV
and lest our gills fail us or the fog run out
I bring the screen tent up from the yard
set it up on the porch
against mosquito's you know
but we know there aren't any mosquito's
no killer bees
no vectors of West Nile
no bird flu
no me, no you
there is only the rain unceasing
and death for something to laugh at
as though anything could ever touch us down here
in the southern Maine sea
that in the fog, it seems to me, was only yesterday
a cabin in the woods by a pond
On the porch in the screen tent
Gwyneth exhale bubbles of smoke from her Camel Light
and like smoke rings they rise out of sight
to the now distant surface
watching them we giggle, we three
my cousin, his girlfriend and me
swathed in our secret we retire to the cabin
throw another log in the stove and
stoke the fire that still burns like magnesium under water
like thermal vents in the deepest of sea trenches
that spit fire and lava and breathe life into the dark
I think of Bob in Drugstore Cowboy
his comment about how most people never know
how they're gonna feel from one moment to the next
but a junky need only read the labels on the bottles
to know exactly how he'll feel
and I say "Gino, toss me the fruit basket."
He hands me the bottle full of colored pills like M&Ms
I take the red one and wash it down with a beer
because a moment ago, I could have sworn
I saw the fog begin to clear.
-Lord Duke (printed with permission)
jigglebox.com

It was a great time. We celebrated Jess's late Birthday and Rick's upcoming one. WE shared stories and watched scary movies and were entralled at some incredible photos from my cousins recent hike through Wyoming and Colorado. The rains finally broke on Sunday morning but I knew something was amiss right away. Jess had turned sour and none of us felt right in the head. I would have blamed it all on the partying but unfortunately this funk lasted for days. Up until today actually. To make a long story short Jess was completely miserable once we returned and I felt like I was hanging onto my last shred of sanity. I tried to get Jess to stay home with me on Tuesday and to decompress with me but she declined. She was smart to go to work. I wasn't. This sent our Landlord into a tizzy and it ended with he and Jess exchanging words that I have never heard spoken to either one in my life. It sounded like two school children arguing on the playground over a game of marbles. It was utterly ridiculous and sad at the same time. He had finally had it out with someone as pigheaded as he was. They both made some valid points but it didn't matter. The damage was done and again I was the main reason for the explosion. It was at that moment I realized we didn't belong here anymore and something was going to have to change and very soon at that. So for the next few days everyone kept their distance. We shuffled off to our jobs, Jess to her's which she has excelled at and made all of us proud and me to my pit of fear and loathing that takes every ounce of my being to go to. We barely spoke. We hid uptsairs and the chirp continued unabated.

Today Jess said she was coming out of it and I told her that was good. She apologized for some things and said she felt better. I hope she doesn't think this is all her fault. I hope she doesn't think I am mad at her. I am not. I love her very much and want so much better for her. Its not her at all.

Its me.

(to be continued..)

Hang in There

2005-09-28T21:15:00.000-04:00

I apologize to the few fine folks who enjoyed stopping by here now and then to read my drivel. I am still in the process of clearing up some personal stuff but the beefs shall return any day now.

After all there is so much juicy stuff to bitch about these days.

Oh, if any of you run into Tom "The Hammer" Delay tell him I heard McDonald's is hiring.

-J

sonofabitch

2005-09-14T13:15:00.000-04:00

i just spent an hour typing a really witty and interesting comeback blog. Then I hit spellcheck and blogspot froze up. I lost it all. I am so mad.

A Brief Break

2005-09-05T17:13:00.000-04:00

It may be a little while before I can post on a regular basis again. There are some changes going on right now that will take up a lot of my free time for the next few weeks. All of this is mainly dealing with my current employment or lack there of. I just finished a fun but exhausting holiday weekend and I have a lot to do during this current week.

Hang in there though, the beef will return and sooner than later. Id like to go off about the gas prices and the ugly job our government did responding to the Katrina disaster but as of now I am just too busy.

At least football season is starting. Gives me something to look forward to.

Keep checking back for regular posts soon, you never know when I may be in the mood to go off.

Wish me luck.

Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes.....

2005-09-01T09:21:00.000-04:00

They are a coming. Stay tuned.

Feminists and Pagans made my radiator blow up

2005-08-26T13:05:00.000-04:00

I could talk about how shitty my week has gone.

I could tell you that my radiator blew up yesterday in my un-inspected car a day after I got a $60 ticket for not having it inspected. I could tell you I have no car now.

I could tell you that I don't give a shit right and that would be the truth. It is Friday and as everyone knows I love Friday's because its pay day and because for 48 hours I don't have to do shit if I do not want too. Nothing except drink, eat and sleep.

There are some other things bothering me right now. You see, everyday I listen to talk radio from all across the country. I listen to the Left, the Right and the middle. You learn a lot about people, political parties and religion and the impacts these things on our country. You also learn about the power of the lie.

Let us talk about the right and the neo-cons and how fucking stupid and full of shit all these brainless, bible thumping jack-asses are. I apologize for the vulgarity but they make me so mad. Their level of ignorance is unequaled. Please don't get me wrong. I do not think all religious folk or Republicans are stupid. I know quite a few wonderful people of faith and even a couple of Republicans who are not all that bad. It's the Neo-Conservative hardcore ilk like the following that make the bile rise up in my throat everytime I see or hear them.

First I bring you Pat Robertson. Bible Humper, TV Host of the 700 club, racist and all around moron. A man with huge influence in the Republican party only because he can deliver millions of votes by just telling his audience "Jesus told him so" on national TV. On Aug. 22nd he said QUOTE "..Chavez was back in power, but we had a chance to move in. He has destroyed the Venezuelan economy, and he's going to make that a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent. You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war."

Ok, so he said on national TV that we should murder the President of a South American country. Well that started quite a ruckus since A: If you are a high profile guy you should not advocate murdering a world leader and B: Christians were kinda bothered cuz Jesus said something like "turn the other cheek" or some such nonsense involving violence. Then there is some commandment or something about "though shall not kill". You know the saying that Robertson quotes every time he speaks out on abortion. Robertson was surprised that his statement garnered so much attention. After all it wasn't a breast flashed at the Super Bowl or "Shit" being uttered on NYPD Blue. He only said we should murder some guy. What's the big deal? We already let him get away with it when he said "feminism" was QUOTE: "socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."
And of course his famous Sept. 11th comments, saying the attacks were caused by QUOTE: "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU and the People for the American Way."

Pat's a real smart guy. So now he thinks we should kill this Chavez guy. So he tells his millions of viewers, yes even the ones watching on ABC FAMILY that we should kill this guy. Well I think some people got offended. Personally, I didn't. I mean I don't listen to anyone who claims God talks to him. Unless your name is Jesus you are a friggin loony if you claim God talks to you. Pat Robertson is a loony, a liar, a racist, and a complete waste of carbon and water. So this morning he claims the "AP misquoted him" and even right wing ass boy Sean Hannity said "Robertson caused a bit of a media firestorm this week when he advocated, some say, the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez." Some say Sean??? Where the hell did you go to school kid??? Oh and where did Hannity say this. If you guessed Fox News you would be right. Get it? Right!? Sorry...but Robertson did say it Sean. Again QUOTE: "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war."
Got it this time?? FINALLY Robertson apologized later in the day after he claimed to have never used the word "assasination" at all.
Quote: "Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him."

Ok, no big deal then right? Well It is actually. For all the shit storms these kind of people start because of swear words and a tit on TV I think its time for some payback. I have already filed a complaint with the FCC and sent a letter to ABC Family. Ok, I filed like 20 complaints with the FCC but that is only because I need to make sure they react and I wanted to use the same tactic the religious right does when they complain about a South Park episode. I want Robertson sued just like they did with Howard Stern and NBC Etc. I was extrememly offended, I mean I was near tears...(chuckle)....

Let the FCC know what you think @ fccinfo@fcc.gov

Now most us know Bill Orielly, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. They are the top three right wing mouthpieces. Their lies and total dedication to misinformation and rabble rousing is incredible. They will call you a commie traitor for speaking out against your President, a murderer for being pro-choice and they think Hillary Clinton is the second coming of Satan. Ok, maybe they have that last one right. Unfortunatey these guys have nothing bad to say about President Bush AT ALL. They never waiver in their support. Bush could fall down drunk at a dinner, piss on Condy Rice's leg and Hannity would claim that the Left spiked his punch and that a Democrat put that rug there for him to trip. Im not exaggerating. Orielly lies at least twice a day, Hannity is just an ignorant yes-man and Limbaugh, well Rush gained some support when I found out he liked pain pills as much as the next guy. Too bad he couldn't just come out and say he liked to get high once in a while. You see the right lets their peeps off no matter what. Rush was doing illegal drugs, Nixon was a criminal, a racist and a murder, O'rielly is a pervert and Ann Coulter has a smelly vagina. Yet they all get a pass? Clinton gets head, Al Gore is boring and John Kerry is..ok boring and ugly. Yet these people are Satan's spawn?? They ruined or would have ruined our country?? Shit, thank god Bush was elected again, could you imagine how bad the country would be if Gore or Kerry were running the show? Or God forbid a Clinton!!!?? Shit, gas prices would be through the roof, support for the war would be at an all time low and the Presidents approval rating would be spiraling downward! oh wait a minute. That is all happening right now. Thanks again Ohio. You have been re-named the dumb fuck state. What the hell is a buckeye anyway??

You ever listen to the President speak? We all know his grasp of the English languge is seriously lacking but that joke is getting old. Have you ever really listened?? He constantly repeats himself. When he talks about the Iraq war now it is so tired and fake that no one even cares. "Stay the course..", "We will defeat the terrorists...", "Stay until the job is done...." "Freedom for the Iraq people....." Blah fuckin blah. I used to listen to any sitting President when he spoke at a press conference or a radio address. I honestly don't even bother with Bush anymore. We thought Gore and Kerry were boring?? Bush is like a damn puppet with Karl Rove pulling the strings. It's disgusting. I know I have said it before but this country is in desperate need of a third party. What do you say Lord Duke? Should we re-start the Freak Power ticket in 2008???

I am all for it!

(one hour later)

I just got of the phone with Duke and though I did not mention any political aspirations I think he came up with a good idea for the both of us. An interesting idea for the near future.Once we get the details sorted out we will let you all know. We said the torch has been passed and we aint kidding.

Okay, 4 hours to go. Take care and remember to always speak your mind. Unless of course you are a jack ass like Pat Robertson.

That's enough of my gibberish. Have a swell weekend ya'll.

P.S-Pat Robertsons real name is Marion. teehee

-J

Jinxed!

2005-08-25T12:10:00.000-04:00

haha! I told you so! After running my gums about how I haven't been pulled over in my un-inspected car BAM! I get popped in Boscawen NH of course! Anyone that lives in Central NH knows all about Boscawen and their Pigs.

ANYONE that has lived in the Franklin, Tilton, Penacook area has been stopped by them. The funny thing is the bastard stopped me a mile into FRANKLIN not Boscawen. Can they do that? He even wrote Boscawen on the ticket? I may fight that one.

Oh well, its my fault for not inspecting my car.

Its almost the end of the week.

Fuck it.

Curt Shilling returns to the mound tonight for the Red Sox. Will he be up to the task?

blah blah I'm bored.

Ok, I'm going to lunch now.

Bye.

Ramblings, observations and random silliness

2005-08-23T10:18:00.000-04:00

Its hard. It really is man. You see I just had a wonderful weekend. It was quiet and relaxing. Jess and I had a great time and really enjoyed doing nothing. Except for Saturday night when we geared up for Hunter's big blastoff and of course Lord Duke came through with the phone call that I never doubted! You can read about Dukes final 2 days in Colorado here but of course you should be visiting jigglebox.com often anyway!! That's all over and done with now though. As I said in my last post "the torch has been passed".

Back to what I meant by shit being hard. So I have been on very thin ice here at work. Even contemplating quitting and finding a new job since the inevitable is bound to happen eventually. Well I bucked up and completed a long hard week even pulling a long day on Friday to finish up some important work. So maybe I could pull it together after all. Well it turns out I screwed up some dates on some work I entered Friday and have to fix a bunch of shit. This pisses me off. I'm sick of it. I am sick of fucking up and I am sick of caring. How can you put effort into something you don't give a shit about?? The sorry thing is I did put effort into it! A hell of a lot of effort, nearly 10 straight hours of fuckin effort. You see kids, this means you are not cut out for the work you are doing. Either you cant do it or subconsciously you don't care about it. Either way its getting harder and harder to deal with. I am also sick of wasting space here on my blog bitching about my job and my life. I must be boring the shit out of my 4 readers. Well fuck it. No more crap about me unless its interesting. And fuck this job too. I'm so pissed right now I am ready to walk out.

Grrrr I am angry. Nothing like a fucking buzzkill on a Tuesday morning.
I need to carry my special"feel good kit" with me at all times for occasions such as these where I need a "pick me up" or a "lay me down" as we say in the business. Woot!
What am I talking about!! Not much I guess.
I need a new direction goddamnit!
Winter is coming! I fucking hate winter!! Aaaag! I get so bummed when its cold and gray outside. I was definitely made for the western or southern climates.
I need to make tons of money soon so I can pay off my debts and high tail it outta here for the winter.
Maybe I will sell my sperm or my blood or both!
Can you sell body parts before you are done with them?

all I know is...

I am proud of my cousin, long live Lord Duke!

I love Jess, at 2 am on Saturday she thought to toast Hunter and Duke and I and I love her for even thinking of something like that!

I need to make money and fast! Whatever I need to do! Anyone wanna be my sugar mommy?

I suck at my job! Please lay me off so I can collect! Pleaaaase!!

or

May a ceiling tile fall from the roof above my desk and rip my ear from my head! Can you say out of court settlement? Hoorah!

Fear not beefloggers, I am not losing it. Just getting ansy is all. I am in need of a change, a new beginning. The body grows older but the soul is still energized! Now if only I could get up in the morning. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

P.S-Lady luck shines on me! I have been driving my uninspected car over 20 miles a day to and from work. I have passed many cops and have not been stopped yet! Of course now that I have told everyone I will be stopped the second I leave work today. That's just my luck.

P.S.S-At least Football season is almost here and the Red Sox are still in first place!

P.S.S.S-Ummm .. well that's about it I guess. Oh yeah Here is a word association game, gather around the kids and play:

Gas

Milk

Gas

Milk

Iraq

Vietnam

Iraq

Vietnam

May Cindy Sheehan sodomize President Bush with her dead sons m-16.

mahalo

-grabby J

Farewell good Dr.

2005-08-20T23:11:00.000-04:00

Mr. Tambourine man played as the crowd roared. 10 minutes ago Hunter Thompson's ashes were fired into the Colorado sky over Owl Farm. The gonzo fist shown bright against the clouds like a crazy version of the Bat Signal. Thanks to Lord Duke, my faithful cousin and my mentor for bringing it all to me live via cell phone, allowing me to live it as if I was standing there in Woody Creek beside him.

Farewell good Dr, you will be missed.

You did it cuz. Now the torch has been passed.

Its our time now.

Dr.Gonzo

Aug 20th 11:15 EST

Lord Duke and Dr.Gonzo circa July 2002 (Yes we are driving, and fast!)

2005-08-18T13:47:00.000-04:00

My concession speech

2005-08-18T13:34:00.000-04:00

I am pathetic.

and its over.

It’s been an extremely long week. Very taxing on my already feeble and tired mind. I feel as though the devil and an angel have been fist fighting between my ears and all I can hear through the commotion is someone that sounds a lot like Johnny Depp saying “buy the ticket, take the ride!” It’s not really a good or evil thing and I don’t even have to buy the ticket. It’s already bought and paid for. All I need to do is get on that plane and go. There is nothing more I want at this moment then to do this. So why don’t I? It will be an extraordinary adventure, a wondrous Gonzo trip out west where my cousin and I will surely give Hunter a send off worthy of a god. Lord Duke is incredibly excited to see me and for once we are inches away from actually getting to together for a planned adventure.

So Close.

So what is stopping me from going? When I first found out about the trip I said, right here on the beeflog that I would be going no matter what. Damn the torpedo’s and fuck em. I will be there. Well guilt has a funny way of weighing you down and stopping someone dead in their tracks. And yesterday I fell in quicksand. Yes, if I go I will certainly lose my job. Then my already growing debt will spiral out of control. No not to Visa or Ma Bell. Fuck all them. No corporate swine will ever keep me from doing what I want. No you see I owe family money. And by going away and losing my job will bring trouble my way and unfortunately trouble to some loved ones as well. So I am stuck. Stuck here to continue being miserable but god damn it I will have a job. For now anyway. I feel it’s not going to last long. So what’s the point? See! There goes the fight again! So I tried to change the times of my flights which would have screwed up the plan but at least allow me to leave after work on Friday. Sure enough there was a flight available. For a mere $200 more that is. At that point I gave up. Then this morning I received a wonderful and funny voice mail from my cousin and his friends in which they drunkenly yet sincerely serenaded me to come out west! “Take the ride!!”

I’m ashamed of myself. I am ashamed that due to predicaments that are totally my fault and that I have put myself in I am unable to join my cousin. It angers me to no end. I am making it my goal to NEVER be tied down to anything again. What I mean by this is that at the drop of a hat I want to be able to up and move. Take a trip, hike a mountain, or go to the beach. This would be considered a fairy tale life to most. Lord Duke has been doing it for over 20 years and he’s no fairy. God bless him.

Today in Aspen Colorado my cousin is meeting with an important person. Someone that may even be able to get him into Thompson’s memorial. Duke tells me last night, “If we both don’t get in then neither of us go!”. I wanted to tear my eyeballs out. I hope to god he gets in. I don’t want my indecisiveness to fuck up his chances. I know he had no intention of leaving me out. Unfortunately I have left myself out. This is really starting to bother me know. In or out it would have been a great time.

So my beloved Jessica, who has supported me during my current mental episodes even, supported the trip which would have meant her supporting me when I got back. She is a sweetheart even if she gave me an odd look when I told her I was building a 15ft gonzo fist in my backyard on Saturday night and planned on blowing it up with fireworks.
“Whatever works for you hun. “ she said.

So that is where I will be. Alone in the dark with my handmade fist alight, my one sole Gonzo Imperial Porter* in my hand, reading aloud from Thompson’s work. But somewhere inside I will know that I am missing out on what could have been the greatest adventure of my dull life. At least I will be warmed by the fact that Lord Duke, my cousin and friend will be there, channeling the ghost of Thompson and doing what he does best. Living in the moment and stopping the living fuck out of the terra.

Thank you cuz and I am truly sorry.

Dr.Gonzo

*Duke was kind enough to send me a full one. He has a case of the special brew ready in Colorado. I should have been there to share it with him.

An open letter to the faithfull beefloggers

2005-08-16T10:34:00.000-04:00

Hey, sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I stayed home in bed nursing my hangover from Wendy and Jessie’s wedding. Probably not a good idea but more about that later. First off, Wendy and Jessie’s wedding was wonderful. It was really a good time. The room Dennis, Shawn, Jessica and I had was really nice. It ended up being the hang out after the reception since it was the biggest suite there and it had a nice balcony overlooking the mountains. The ceremony was very short and sweet. The reception was nice except for the fact that it was hotter than hell thanks to a really shitty AC system. Oh and the bar was horrendous. I mean worse than horrendous. Of course none of this was Wendy and Jessie’s fault it was The Gunstock Inn’s fault. Still everything went well and we ended up partying in our room until about 5am. I don’t remember much after 3am except bringing Jesse back to his room on a luggage cart and then listening to Shawn and Dennis dragging another cart down three flights of stairs. I think I remember pushing Shawn and two girls we found in the lobby down a hallway where they crashed into a wall. Not sure how we didn’t get kicked out and not sure why these 2 girls were sleeping in the lobby. Unfortunatley for Dennis and Shawn I think they were about 14. I know we drank all of the booze we brought (which was a lot) and got yelled at for bringing it back into the reception like everyone else was doing because the bar inside was horrible. This is how bad they were at the bar:

“Can I have a Jim Bean and Ginger ale please?”
“We don’t have any Ginger Ale.”
“Um ok, How about a Jim beam and Cola?”
“We don’t have Jim Beam.”
“Jack Daniels?”
“Nope.”
“How about a Black Label and Sprite?”
“Um..ok.”

Black Label and Sprite suck ass. They got so bad that towards the end of the night they were serving WARM beer. So most guests said fuck it and started bringing back their own from their rooms. Then around 1:00 am they made an announcement about how we cannot bring in outside booze etc..thanks to the fact that Shawn tried to bring in a Corona. They noticed that right away. How? Because they didn’t have Corona at the bar, or Hieniken, Or Amstel Light or………

Enough bitching though. So Jesse and Wendy are in the Dominican Republic right now. Soaking up some sun and surely being served some nice COLD Coronas. They deserve it all. I have some great photos though most may never be seen because though I looked pretty damn sharp in my new clothes my bloated pale head still gives me the creeps when I see it in photos. In the mirror its not too bad but take a picture? Scary. I only hope it not as bad in real life and you all havent just been nice to me all these years.

So I was tired yesterday but more than anything my room was a mess and I hadn’t put anything away from the wedding. I have a low grade of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) so it’s really hard for me to accomplish anything if everything is a mess and my stuff isn’t where it should be. Let’s just say spontaneity isn’t really part of my vocabulary. I am sure this has cost me some great adventures in the past. Anyway after I awoke at 8am (oops) and took one look at my stuff strewn around my bedroom I gave in. I retired to my throne for an early morning exorcism (insert image here) then went back to bed. I am very naughty and incredibly stupid sometimes. Jess of course got up at 4am and went to work. How I miss the fortitude of youth.

These are all just stupid excuses even though true. I’m surprised to still be working here and typing these words. I drove my uninspected car through the cover of Fog here this morning. I hope I can make it home without getting stopped. Someone from Corporate just called to bitch at me for not sending some paperwork down. Hey I can only send what I fuckin have okay???
Bloodsuckers. In three days I am supposed to be on a flight to Colorado. How on earth am I going to do that?

While we are pondering impossibilities I watched Oliver Stones “Alexander” on Sunday as I nursed my hangover. Though not an epic by any stretch I enjoyed it and thought most critics were a little too harsh on it. Either way Alexander was quite the character and his accomplishments are unmatched. There is one scene in India where Alexander leads a cavalry charge against the enemy who are riding giant War Elephants, a sight I could not imagine seeing especially in that time. His weary troops are being routed and Alexander knows this may be the end. So he charges. Stone slows down time and Alexander and his horse rear up as does the Elephant in front of him. It is the perfect shot, we have seen this picture in a carving or a statue before but for an instant you feel nothing but awe and wonderment for this man, this conqueror of lands who rides headlong into certain death if only to rouse his troops in battle. I would give anything to inspire people in this way. I think sometimes we just need to find the right thing to do. We need to inspire ourselves first. I am still looking for this and it is an endless quest so far.

Lord Duke has fallen also. Not against any war elephants though. My cousin who began his quest to hike the CDT is finished. After losing both his hiking partners, twisting an ankle and fighting with some faulty equipment he is off the trail for good. I don’t blame him a bit. He tells us on jigglebox.com:
I've been on the CDT for over ONE MONTH NOW! My original partner, Big Stick, was sucked thru a wormhole into Deep Space carrying about $800 of sponsored gear with him. Not a bad haul for hiking a total of two days. Hooray Big Stick and thanks for all the cards and letters. My second partner, Blister Sister, was a great friend & guide, but now she, too, has gone home to New England. It appears the ankle I twisted into a black and blue softball-sized clubbed-foot the week before I began hiking is more than just a sprain. The pain never let up, but stubborn I walked on. And on. And on. After resting a week with art car friends, I set out again over some of the most beautiful terrain on my journey, literally stomping the terra along the very top of the Divide for days. It was stunning and daunting. I got lost, fell and broke my glasses, climbed to the highest peak I think I've ever climbed, and didn't see another hiker soul for a solid week. With Thompson's memorial just days away now, I was forced to beeline south, bushwacking, trespassing, and basically tear-assing thru, around and over every order of flora, fauna, swamp and mountaintop with naught but my compass as my guide. I hit the I-70 yesterday and the one-saloon town of Empire, and good friend Nick came to collect my bloody remains and carry me "home" to Leadville. The late Doctor Gonzo has taken possession of my physical body, and we are presently under heavy sedation in an undisclosed location somewhere north of Antarctica.Thank you all again for your support! And thank you Autumn!-Peregrine jack

And now I am supposed to join him in three days. I want nothing more than to do this. I have the ticket he got me but no way to Logan Airport. The other person in my Dept. has already taken this Friday off (way before I knew about my trip) so if I am not here on Friday I will surely be unemployed. But do I truly care? I mean I do but I am hanging by a thread as it is and have no legal transportation anymore. The other person in my Dept. is starting to dislike me due to my attendance and overall fuck ups. Am I making excuses? Am I going crazy again? No. Actually I am quite calm as I sit here. So I reach out to my friends, my family, to ghosts, to Alexander to guide me. Tell me what to do. Where do we go from here?

In 60 hours do I ride against the Elephants? Or do I turn tail, run and live to fight another day?

You tell me.

J

..some more stuff

2005-08-12T12:14:00.000-04:00

It’s a double dose today on this muggy August 12th. My last post was my beef and now I am just going to bullshit a while.

Tomorrow two of my good friends are getting married. They have been dating for 7 years or more I think and living together for half of that. I know it’s been quite a while. They have no children, are in their late 20’s and just purchased a nice 2 story home. Jesse is an electrician and Wendy just recently became an accountant, finishing up her schooling. They are in every way a good example of what hard work and dedication can do for an American couple. I am extremely envious to say the least. But it’s a good feeling, far from jealousy since that puts it into the category of “I wish it was me instead of them” and that quite simply is shitty. I don’t wish it was me instead of them I wish it was me also. They have worked hard for what they have and I can’t say I worked too hard over the years. Their relationship is also extremely rare; it’s the type of one I have been searching for since I can remember. I think they are the rare type of couple who actually found their soul mates if any such silly thing actually exists. They are so totally different yet the same in a lot of ways. Jesse has gotten smarter and wiser over the years, learning from past mistakes and not repeating the bad ones. Same for Wendy except she has grown even more beautiful and womanly then ever, something that most men may find threatening but not Jessie. He knows he doesn’t have a damn thing to worry about. Not that he would ever let his guard down or start to take her for granted but when you’re around them you just know it’s for real. If you knew them as well as I do you would agree whole heartedly. Like them most of us 30 something’s have had our fun in the sun. The drug binges, the one night stands and the drunken debauchery. Now its time for them to settle down and carve out their piece of the pie. So it is with great pleasure that I attend their nuptials tomorrow night and I have nothing but admiration and joy for them. Truly a good example of the American dream. Some of us find it, some of us won’t and some of us don’t even try. Either way I believe it’s out there for all of us in some form or another. They found theirs and I wish them all the best.

Will we find ours?

Still searching,
justin

First We Beef...

2005-08-12T11:41:00.000-04:00

Mitchell Johnson is a free man today. 7 years ago he and his best friend went into their middle school in Jonesboro Arkansas and pulled a fire alarm. As their teachers and fellow classmates came out the front doors they were shot down like animals, left to bleed to death in the morning sun. Four young students and a teacher died that day. Mitchell Johnson was 13 years old. He is now 21 and a free man. His criminal record is wiped clean. He can go into Wal-Mart as I type this and purchase a firearm. Neither Johnson nor his accomplice (who will be free in 2007) have ever expressed remorse or given any explanation for their crimes. This is all true.

In 1994 Damien Echols was convicted of murdering three young boys in West Memphis Arkansas. He was convicted without a shred of concrete evidence and the entire prosecutions case was based on hearsay and the fact that Echols was a “Wiccan” and wore black clothing. He was sentenced to die. Echols was 18 years old. He has always expressed his innocence and has been blasted by the media for not showing “remorse” for a crime he says he didn’t commit. This is also a true story.

Remind to stay far away from Arkansas.

We recently passed the 60th anniversary of the atomic bomb blast at Hiroshima, Japan. This single historical event took over 120,000 lives, mostly civilian. It also saved over 2 million. I have heard a few people say how the US was wrong in killing so many civilians and to usher in the atomic age. Well let’s discuss this shall we.

The empire of Japan was the most notorious and brutal country in existence at the time. Far more dangerous than Hitler and his death camps. Japan routinely murdered and tortured allied prisoners of war and raped and murdered hundreds of thousands of Chinese civillians, mainly women and children. The “Nanking Massacre” and the “Bataan Death March” are just two of many atrocities committed by Japan in World War 2. Go ahead and Google those names. Never mind I will do it for you, here is a brief synopsis of “The Batann Death March” :

"The Bataan Death March began at Mariveles on April 10, 1942. Any troops who fell behind were executed. Japanese troops beat soldiers randomly, and denied the POWs food and water for many days. One of their tortures was known as the sun treatment. The Philippines in April is very hot. Therefore, the POWs were forced to sit in the sun without any shade, helmets, or water. Anyone who dared ask for water was executed. On the rare occasion they were given any food, it was only a handful of contaminated rice. When the prisoners were allowed to sleep for a few hours at night, they were packed into enclosures so tight that they could barely move. Those who lived collapsed on the dead bodies of their comrades. For only a brief part of the march would POWs be packed into railroad cars and allowed to ride. Those who did not die in the suffocating boxcars were forced to march about seven more miles until they reached their camp. It took the POWs over a week to reach their destination."

Marvel at the complete disregard for human life. President Truman had to make a choice. The invasion of Japan called for nearly 1 million allied troops and it was well known that Japanese soldiers would fight to the death. The estimated death toll from a Japanese invasion was
250, 000 dead allied troops, 1 million dead Japanese troops and hundreds of thousands of dead civilians. It would have been death on a most magnificent scale. Not too mention the POW’s. The Japanese were filling up large ships with emaciated and dying Allied prisoners of war and steaming them to the mainland so they could use them as human shields and at least be sure that we killed as many of our own as we did the enemy. Of course most of these ships were sunk by Allied submarines since the Japanese never had the ships bear the Red Cross, identifying the ship as containing injured men or prisoners so that they were not destroyed. The allies killed over 30,000 of our own troops thanks to the Empire of Japans total disregard for the rules of modern warfare. When Truman decided to drop the bomb instead of invading Japan he saved countless lives and ended the bloodiest war in the world’s history. “Fat Man” and “Little Boy” may have ushered in a new age of warfare but at the time it was the right thing to do.

If we only had leadership smart enough to do the right things for our country today maybe we wouldn’t be disgusted every time we open a Newspaper.

Oh yeah, I heard a lady on the radio today make a very simple yet true comment.
Regarding the gas prices that are completely out of control she said simply, "No one is really making much of a fuss. Everyone is still driving and paying the high prices. Of course no one
is going to lower prices. As long as everyone continues to pay, the prices will stay high." She works for AAA and she is right. Until we kick up a fuss its going to cost you $68 to fill your tank. The ball is in our court but unfortunatley we are all too damn lazy and spoiled to do anything about it. Imagine if everyone in the USA didnt drive to work for ONE day. Just one day. See how fast those prices would go down then.

I guess we can dream cant we?

gabby J

A Good Weekend

2005-08-08T16:40:00.000-04:00

I had a nice relaxing weekend finally! Jess, myself and some friends headed up to the White Mtn. National forest and camped out all weekend. Lots of food and booze were had by all. It was a desperately needed escape and I am glad I decided to go. I am a little sore and tired but the scramble in my brain is starting to smooth out. It's a wonder what fresh air and some time away from everything can do. Now its time to start rebuilding and making plans for the rest of the month. There is a lot of things coming up. Should be interesting.

This is quite a dead time for the TV season but if anyone gets a chance be sure to check out "Over There" on FX. Its a gritty drama about the current situation over in Iraq. It follows a squad of soldiers through their tour in the desert. It really hits home now after the loss of all those marines a few days ago.

There is an email hoax going around about Mars. It says on Aug. 27th it will pass as close to earth as it ever will in thousands of years. We are supposed to see it as close as the moon almost. Well it turned out to be a hoax and I never fall for that email/chainmail/hoax shit but since my girlfriend and my Mom told me about it I actually was starting to spread it around. I was so pissed when i found out I was duped. I must be getting slow in my old age.

More tomorrow.

J

Rolling with the Punches

2005-08-04T15:23:00.000-04:00

Ok so I went off the deep end a bit. Its kind of strange having a near psychotic episode in such a public forum as this. Ok maybe not psychotic. Idiotic? Maybe.

Things are a little better now. I have come to terms with some of the issues plaguing me and though I wouldn't even try to say things are 100% they are much improved. I had a great talk with Jess last night and a nice dinner with my Mother and Chris. It felt good to come out of my cave and breathe some fresh air for the first time in days and eat a nice meal. I definitely have some major issues that I need to work out. It is going to be a crazy month for sure. Basically I need to figure out how to pay for the work that needs to be done to my car. Jess and I need to get squared away on some bills and food shopping is in order since we haven't done that in weeks. I was so out of it I thought we were out of toilet paper for three days and had been wiping my ass with Brawny. Turns out we had like 40 rolls downstairs.

Cant you tell Im ok now :-)

I am on the verge of smoking cigarettes again but have been fighting the urge as much as I can. My food program and exercise routine has been out the window for weeks and this has seriously dampened my overall mood. This is just another thing to be addressed and added to the growing list of things that need to be improved.

On a higher note Lord Duke, Mister Gonzo himself, my cousin Rick also helped me out yesterday with some words of wisdom. If anyone can talk you out of jumping off a cliff it is he. On top of that, thanks to his generosity and the fact that it was my birthday I now have a plane ticket to Colorado during the weekend of Hunter Thompsons funeral. This is in 2 weeks. How am I going to pull that off amid my current situation? I don't know. The only thing I will say is that I AM going to pull it off one way or another. Its going to be wonderful therapy and a damn good time.

Speaking of my birthday I want to thank the few fine folks who emailed or called yesterday to wish me a Happy B-Day and let me know they were concerned about me. I truly appreciate it. Its tough to spill your guts here because I know damn well it will get reactions from the few who stop by and in a way it feels like a cheap way to get attention. Well that's not the case but thanks for the concern anyway. God bless ya whether you believe in him or not.

So this weekend is almost here, not sure what the hell I am doing but it is quite possible I will be out in nature some where, breathing fresh air and sleeping under the stars. I can leave my troubles behind if only for a few days. After that its going to be a hell of a row to hoe from here on in.

P.S-May the real beefs return here as soon as possible!! Arent you all getting sick of this morbid personal crap??

J

A Total Loss

2005-08-02T09:36:00.000-04:00

09:36:52AM 08/02/05

Its funny how one single moment, one tiny event in your life can totally and completely set your entire life spinning out of orbit. As some of you can tell from my previous post not all is well here in beefville anyway. I haven't quite put a finger on it yet but something seems to be misfiring in my brain . I cant seem to pick myself back up and start peddling the bike anymore. Even though you know how to ride the bike, I mean shit you have done it hundreds of times you seem to forget how to peddle all of a sudden and there you are, sprawled out on the pavement. Either that or you just don't want to peddle anymore. Maybe you are just too exhausted or maybe you just don't give a shit. Then again maybe you want to throw the fuckin bike into the dumpster and go out and get yourself a fuckin car. Why peddle your ass off when you can ride in style?

What the fuck am I talking about?

So I was going to tell you about this innocuous moment that split my life into this alternate reality. My mother, god bless her soul, picked me up a PC game for my birthday. Yes I am 31 and I asked her for a PC game for my birthday, this is how pathetic my life is. So I put my girlfriend to bed Saturday night, it was nice, she was happy, I was happy and I sat at my PC, pretty content with my surroundings and figured Id load up the new game, play for a while and drink wine and pop a painkiller until I pass out. Well unfortunately I was unable to get the game to run on my PC, it was a million to one shot that it wouldn't run and I couldn't fuckin believe it. What a rip.

24 hours later I was face down in my bed racked with anxiety, all these people buzzing around my head asking me "where the fuck had I been" and blah blah blah. Did I mention my bank account was half empty? Did I mention I slept for 2 days after that? I had to eat valium like tic tacs and hide in my room to escape the pure pain of embarrassment and total loss.

It took 2 days to get Jess to come around. I don't know about anyone else cuz I haven't seen or talked to anyone in three days except my Mother who would pop her head in here and there to try and pep me up and give me the old "pull yerself up by the bootstraps" talks. She tries but there are no bootstraps to pull anymore. It is Tuesday. I am at work. I didn't come in yesterday and I was late today but that doesn't really matter since I forgot my time card anyway. Its only a matter of time now.

So I am not sure what the next step is from here. It's been a long time since I fucked up this bad and the funny thing is I'm not surprised. I have been feeling and acting strange lately. That old beast is trying to fight its way out of me again. Its not the "live on the streets, shoot drugs be a loser beast" either though he is always there. Its the beast that was screaming at the kitchen clock this morning, the one yelling "FUCK YOU! You do not dictate my life! I will leave when I goddamn please, I will eat my granola bar right here in my kitchen and take my goddamn time doing it! Fuck you!"

Now some of you are thinking of calling the whitecoates and having me committed and not that I would totally be against that idea but I don't think that's the solution. That's the scary part. I do not know what the solution is. Now before anyone gets all up in arms Im not talking about that solution. I'm not planning to go out like some punk bitch. I have too much respect for my loved ones for that. I have no idea where this alternate reality is heading. Hopefully Donnie Darko or someone will come along and close up this goddamn wormhole and I will wake up at my PC with that stupid game loading into my computer, my girlfriend sleeping soundly in the next room and I will be sitting there, with a grin on my face and slowly nodding off from the effects of the wine.

Then I awake on Sunday morning. The sun is coming through my windows and it is 9am. I laugh out loud as I shake the remnants of the terrible dream I had. Surprisingly I feel alive and awake and I am already making plans for the day.

Life is good.

09:36:52AM 08/02/05

j

houston we have a problem

2005-07-29T20:40:00.000-04:00

i think i am losing my mind.

First off i should not be posting anything at this time. It is friday evening and I am curently under the influence of perscription narcotics and alchol. Some would consider this a stupid mixtire yet I call it "dinner". Ok so thast a little over dramatic. I jus thappen to be unwinding after a particualr grueling week that seems to bring no end to the bad news. Im not getting into it because I am not in the mood but lets just say its been less than a stellar week and yes, my relationship is fine and so is my health but i am still miserable.

Shitty bitty boom bitty.

My car. My little sports car needs a llot of work to pass inspection nfortunatley. Course what did I expect for a cheap car that is over 15 years old and has spent its life in shitty New England weather. Fuck winter and fuck rust and fuck bad radiators and fuck state inspection guidlines.

Did I mention I am going insane? Well not really but i have a funny if not scary story. An hour ago, well before ...oops.

My phone just rang. Someone was trying to sell me Motley Crue tickets real cheap. Whover is selling them is obviously high on drugs and needs cash quick hence the immediacy of the sale. Its funny what people will do to get high! I didnt buy them. though it was a good deal I just cant part with the cash right now. Now where was I..

Oh yeah the story. So I pull in my driveway and I had some photos to give to Jess that her mom had given me earlier. I walked inside my house and noticed they were not in my hand anymore. So I retraced my steps.
They were no where to be found. I started doubting if I ever even brought them home but remembered distinctivley clutching them in my hand as i shielded them from the sprinklers that were spraying all over the lawns at Jess's Moms place. Where the fuck had they gone?
i retraced my steps again. Nothing.
I checked the car, my pockets, the ground, under my hat(seriously),my ass, still nothing. What the hell? Im not even messed up yet!

finally after an hour of searching i found them. In the garbage on my front porch. I had thrown them away with some trash I brought in from the car. Ok, maybe its not that great of a story but the fact that I lost these photos in the matter of minutes, a 40 ft walk from the car to the house blows my mind. I think I will not drive anywhere tonight.

Now my cuzn Rick is having a shitty time on his hike. i spoke about some of his troubles earlier and now he has ankle issues that have pulled him off the trail once again. Im sorry bro. i wish I was out there with you. Speaking of Lord Duke I have to get the interview I conducted with him transcribed and up on his site. Someone remind me will ya. Hopefully I didnt throw the tape recording in the trash like a alzheimers reject.

by the way has anyone noticed that gas is 250 a gallon?? Why the fuck arent we rioting in the streets over this?? It costs someone the same amount of money that it would take to feed a small family to fill yer gas tank. Why are the kids dying in Iraq again? It sure aint for oil thats for sure. If anyone has a chanec be sure to check out the FX show "Over There". A great new show about the bullshit in Iraq. It madwe me think about why I am paying so much for Gas. then I watched "Apacolypse Now" for the hundreth time and couldnt stop asking myself "Didnt we learn anything?" I guess not.

Ok, enugh of this crap. I am not spell checking this so all yo grammar monkeys can blow me. i am probably going to regret hitting "publish post" but what the hell. At least I wrote something!

i am going to cuddle up with Jess and forget about all the shit in my life right now that really isnt all that bad its just easier to feel sorry for yerself. She is fast asleep and dreaming. I hope they are good dreams bursting with hope and promise.

I hope.

hugs and kisses,
justino barbarino

Random acts of Beef

2005-07-26T09:32:00.000-04:00

Just a few things today. First off my cousin Rick has covered a few hundred miles of his CDT hike out west. I finally had a chance to have a live chat with him and got to interview him for his website. I am still working on transcribing it and once I do I will post it here and on his site, http://www.jigglebox.com.
I tried to read as much as I can. I am a news and information junkie. I try my best to keep up with current events and even pop culture to an extent. Sometimes I come across a story that didn't make national news but still resonates with me for one reason or another. On June 20th, in Chicago Illinois, three men,Michael Dahlquist, 39, John Glick, 35, and Douglas Meis, 29, all member of the Chicago indie music scene were all heading to lunch on break from the Shure microphone factory they all worked at. Just three regular Joes getting a bite to eat, no doubt talking about music and wondering if their respective bands would ever make it. As they waited at a red light they never got the chance to have those questions answered. That's when Jeanette Sliwinski, 23, an unemployed model with porn star looks plowed into their car at 70 MPH, deliberately trying to kill herself because she was "depressed" and had just had a fight with her mother. The three men were killed instantly, their bodies strewn across the intersection.

Sliwinski broke her leg.

She is due in court soon, charged with three counts of first degree murder. Technically she could get the death penalty. Quite frankly I believe she deserves it though we all know she wont get it. If her lawyers are good enough maybe they can convince the court she is crazy. After all who would be so fuckin stupid as to kill themselves in such a way to endanger so many innocent lives. I'm all for a persons right to off themselves but the minute you involve someone else you become a criminal and a murderer. That's all Jeanette Sliwinski is. She is a fucked up, selfish murdering cunt. I have no sympathy for anyone who cannot deal with their issues personally. Her dream of making a huge spectacle out of her suicide backfired when she made it out alive.

I would have gladly let her borrow my gun.

This is a much more positive story though it will most likely fly under the radar. We all know how much of a fuss the recording industry has made over pirating music. They have sued 14 yr olds and college kids and they slapped that really ugly FBI warning sticker on all CD's now. Not to mention that fucked up CD copy protection that any 12 yr old can break yet it is known to cause some CD's not to play in certain CD players essentially making them useless pieces of plastic. Then again most music these days pretty much transforms those CD's into useless pieces of plastic anyway. I got to smile a little today when Sony music, the worlds largest music publisher, was ordered to pay over 10 Million dollars by the NY Attorney Generals office because of a Payola scheme they got busted for. "Payola" is a term coined in the late 50's. It basically means that record companies used to pay Radio Stations and DJ's to play certain songs. Unfortunately when the dimwitted masses hear a certain song a hundred times on the radio they think this means its good and then they go out and buy the album. So record labels paid people off to spin their records which in turn would make these records sell and turn shit into gold! Well this became illegal in the USA and was stopped. Well it turns out Sony has been pulling the old "Payola" scam again and they got busted. There are still plenty of investigations ongoing also. We've all known for a long time that contemporary pop music stinks. We hear "hits" on the radio and wonder, "How can this be?"
Well now we know. Some of those "Hits?":

Jennifer Lopez's awful record, "Get Right." Sony paid up to $1000 to get that horrid shit played.

Franz Ferdinand, Jessica Simpson, Good Charlotte, Switchfoot.

They paid up to $4000.00 a spin for Franz Ferdinand. Who the fuck is Franz Ferdinand???

Exactly. This kind of stuff makes me smile though as I said in the beginning it probably wont be big news. So next time you hear that big hit on the radio really listen to it. Is it really any good?

No Shit! This explains that damn Hoobastank song....!

Well its hot as hell out today. Supposed to be close to 95. The air quality will be shit. I'm glad I bought a car with T-Tops. I am getting a little worried about the impending inspection. I got pulled over by a town cop yesterday. It was no biggie but the cop looked at my license and goes
"Your J? (insert my name here)"
I said "Yeah that's me."
He goes "Haven't seen you around here lately."
I said "That's good isn't it?"
What the Fuck? I haven't had a run in with these boneheads in over a decade yet they know who I am and now what car I drive. And since I am the only one in town with a black 300ZX I will be a beacon of opportunity for the local constables.

Lucky me.

Kiss me I'm Italian,

J

69 and Some Hot Coffee Sex!

2005-07-22T11:24:00.000-04:00

What a friggin lying ass I am. A few days ago I promised to write everyday and what do I do? I don't write shit! Well I am mostly out of that funk I told you all about so to commemorate my 69th post here on the World Famous Beeflog I shall make this post extra long and extra moist! (eww.)

Pat your Republican friends on the ass today. The House voted to make our favorite Act permanent! What act you ask? Why the Patriot Act silly! You know the one that makes America so much safer because it allows the good guys to use all their power to stop the bad guys! So when your neighbor calls the FBI on you because your dog shit in his yard and tells them that he thinks he saw you check out the Koran from the local library you can thank your politicians when the FBI and CIA checks out your reading, eating, fucking and shopping habits. They can get your Visa records your bank records your health records etc, etc, etc. After all is said and done and they find out you are not a terrorist you will still be fucked when they kick in your door without a search warrant and find a week old bag of pot your cousin left under your couch. Oopsie!

Next

SCOTT McCLELLAN: (White House Press Bitch): "The president has set high standards, the highest of standards for people in his administration. He's made it very clear to people in his administration that he expects them to adhere to the highest standards of conduct. If anyone in this administration was involved in it, they would no longer be in this administration."

Hey Prez! It seems Karl Rove your favorite ass boy and the guy who helped you pummel John Kerry most likely leaked an undercover CIA agents name to the press! Shouldnt he be fIred just like Scotty Boy said above???

PRESIDENT BUSH: "We have a serious ongoing investigation here. (Laughter.) And it's being played out in the press. And I think it's best that people wait until the investigation is complete before you jump to conclusions. And I will do so, as well. I don't know all the facts. I want to know all the facts. The best place for the facts to be done is by somebody who's spending time investigating it. I would like this to end as quickly as possible so we know the facts, and if someone committed a crime, they will no longer work in my administration."

Wait a minute though, that's not what Scott said, he said nothing of a crime, only if someone is involved, why is the White House changing there stance all of a sudden?

PERSIDENT BUSH:"Anyone else watch Desperate Housewives? HmmHmm Mom and I dig on that picture show!"

Next

My Shut the Fuck Up award this week goes to....Senator Hillary "Well Hung" Clinton!!
And here is why: A statement distributed by the Senator's office this afternoon sets the scene, stating that "following recent reports revealing that the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas has graphic pornographic content which may be unlocked by following instructions on the Internet, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton will hold a press conference to discuss legislative solutions to keep inappropriate video game content out of the hands of young people."

I am so glad Hillary will take up such an original stance to protect today's youth from pixilated porn. I mean did you se the Pics I posted above!! For anyone wondering what is going on it seems that hidden inside the worlds most popular console video game, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas you can unlock interactive sex scenes when using a "Mod" called the Hot Coffee Mod. These "mod" codes can be downloaded from the internet and used to mod the PC version of GTA. I am not sure how the hell they are modding the console versions but I can only think you would have to use some kind of Game Shark or other peripheral device used to cheat or add codes. To the layman that means that the Xbox and Playstation versions can not be modded by themselves yet Best Buy is pulling all their console versions off the shelf. What they are doing is changing the rating from "Mature" to "Adults Only", making GTA an XXX rated game. Which it is not. R-rated definatley but X-Rated is bullshit. So dipshits like Clinton and Senator Joseph Lieberman (D) (I hate this guy) are calling for a sweeping measure to clean up the torrid Video Game industry. So who do I blame for all this bullshit? Actually I blame Rockstar Games and Take Two Interactive, the makers of GTA. Surprised? You shouldn't be.

The GTA series took off a few years ago when they released GTA 3 for Playstation 2. It was an incredibly violent and fully immersible game that blew away the competition. The game was non-linear so you could literally drive or run around the city doing whatever you wanted and not being locked into a certain path or storyline. It was "free roaming" at its best. You could also run down pedestrians, beat people with baseball bats and gun down hundreds of cops on a whim. Definitely a Mature game and rightfully rated. GTA:Vice City came next and was even better, adding tons more game play and upping the violence factor especially during "missions". The profanity grew in scope also and of course it was rated Mature. Vice City went on to become the best selling console game of all time. Somebody's parents sure and hell were not policing what their kids were buying and playing but luckily no kids stole the family station wagon and flew down Main St running down pedestrians either. So back to why I blame the makers of GTA? They had been pushing the envelope so much with these games and had luckily been flying under the radar so in the meantime they were getting rich and we had some kick ass games to play. Sure there was controversy but nothing like there is now.
With GTA: San Andreas they crossed a line putting in these silly sex scenes. They simply did it to push the envelope even further but now it backfired on them. Saying "Fuck" and killing hookers with a shovel wasn't enough for Rockstar. So now their game is under fire and this will hurt every gamer and game company out there. I fully support Rockstar's choice to put whatever they want in their games and I still believe that Parents are still the first line of defense when it comes to choices of games but this was just silly. I am sure they didnt expect this reaction. With the wicked bitch of the east Hillary in charge we can expect more bullshit censorship on its way. I guarantee Wal-Mart pulls GTA from their stores right away if they haven't done it already. So this weeks Shut the Fuck up goes out to Hillary Clinton and Rockstar Games. I grew up in the 80's and got to see shit like this first hand, remember Tipper Gore and the PMRC? Hopefully this witch hunt doesn't even last as long.

Still Killing hookers with a shovel,

JKA

Funk Town

2005-07-18T08:54:00.000-04:00

The last few weeks have been those types of weeks where all you want them to do is end as fast as thy can. You sit at work and concentrate on nothing but passing the time. I think I have been in one of those midsummer funks where you wish you were doing anything but what you are actually doing at the time. I have not returned emails, phone calls and haven't spoken to some people that I usually do on a regular basis. I have been lethargic, tired and all around spaced out. I am not sure what it is really but I am working through it. I think. I had all these great Ideas I wanted to accomplish and I haven't done shit. I think I just value my time so much that when the rare opportunity comes along when I have even 30 minutes to myself all I want to do is crawl into a ball and daydream. Then my phone rings or Jess needs something or something needs to be done. I know this sounds awfully selfish but I think everyone needs peace for themselves some times. The even more fucked up thing is I really do want to email or talk or spend time with these people! Its not that I don't like them or anything. I just can't seem to divvy the time up enough and then I just give up, shut off my phone and accomplish all the shit I need to do. Then next thing you know it's too late because you have to go to sleep for work and you have 14 messages on your voicemail. This weekend alone I tried to help plan a bachelor party, look after my Mothers house and animals, hang out with my brother, spend time with Jess, get some much needed info and talk with my Cousin Rick who has hiked over 100 miles by himself, set up a get together with my Dad who is up from Florida, get some stuff put up on Ebay cuz I need the extra cash and go see my friends band on Saturday night. I didn't even accomplish half of that. I even missed alot of the most important stuff. I especially aplogize to Rick for not even being able to call him back. I guess I do not work well under pressure at times. Sometimes I implode and crawl into that ball.

I am writing this to apologize to anyone who feels I have not been very social lately and if I didn't return any calls etc. Today I will be catching up at work (I have been neglecting this area also) and doing my best to get back to everyone. I know I have said this A DOZEN times but I will post daily (except for weekends) on here. I always come up with cool stuff to write about but then never do because I find myself off doing something else! Maybe I have A.D.D. Anyway don't give up on me. I will be back late today for some beefy fun.

Being Bi-Polar,

J

Special 4th of July guest post!

2005-07-06T10:05:00.000-04:00

Here's a little treat for the faithful beefloggers. This is an excerpt from my cousin's upcoming book entitltled "Dead Men Hike No Trails", the first person account of his Appalachian Trial thru-hike of last year. This excerpt covers our adventures during the week of the 4th of July last year and is written in his familiar gonzo with a grain of salt style. I just recently read this for the first time myself and it put a smile on my face for sure! Enjoy.

The following excerpt is reprinted with permission and all copyrights are held by RS McKinney, 2005.

On a journey full of seemingly endless favors and kindness and hospitality and graces and trail magic and angels, this one was truly unique. I'd been helped out in time of need by many a trail angel, but real angel Mark beat all.

Thank you Mark Noel, wherever you are.

Then ding! With the jingle and the brief jostle of an elevator ride, I was in New Hampshire. What name would the Namers of All-Things-AT give to flying a section of trail, skipping ahead, as it were, via Flugzeug? (I've always loved the German word for airplane. Oh, and Hubschrouber, that's another good one, for helicopter.) The sky is blue, but blue blaze is already taken. Perhaps jet blaze! Yeah, I like that. Ding! I jet blazed to New Hampshire.

The intention had been that I would, by early July, have hiked sufficiently close to New Hampshire that my cousin could just zip down and pluck me off the trail in Connecticut or so. But I had only made it to very southern Pennsylvania, so fly I did, my father most generously throwing-down for the plane ticket. Most of the week or so spent there is a happy blur, seen only in retrospect as I was way too busy having fun and truly vacationing from the trail to write a word the entire time. Independence Day was, like every other weekend day or holiday in New England that summer, damp. It rained, but did Cousin Justin let the rain spoil his vision of a wild weekend of pool party and margarita debauchery? Heck no.

As I recall, we were somewhere around Tilton on the edge of.. well, Tilton in central New Hampshire's lakes region when the drugs began to take hold. I remember asking Justin just what was IN the MSR hydration bladder he'd gone to an outfitter and bought just to make hiker-me feel "at home while drinking." He had suddenly taken on an unearthly, airplane-toilet chemical blue glow. I flipped down the passenger side mirror to get a look at his girlfriend Jess and sure enough, same glow. When my cousin turned to respond to me, his eyes had gone alien black, and he grinned a wide grin with multilayered, sharklike teeth. Oh, Jeezus, I remember thinking. This is going to be one helluva ride. And so it was.

Justin had spent a small fortune on fireworks; his mother (my aunt) Mary a small fortune on booze. Apparently, I'd specially requested top shelf tequila, fresh lemons and limes and Grand Mariner instead of standard triple sec. Justin squeezed lemons and I whipped up some 5-star margaritas, and with drinks in one hand and roman candles in the other, Justin, Jess, Mary, her husband Chris, myself and Justin's amigo Dennis all ran screaming around their farm in the dark blasting one another with fireballs. Mind you, this came directly on the heels of a long soak in the redwood hot tub in the barn and was performed in the drizzling rain, so there was no danger of immolation involved.

Everyone wore eye protection. Those without prescription glasses wore welding goggles or welding hats with protective face shields scrounged from Chris' shop. Afterwards, and before a scrumptious prime rib on the grill dinner prepared by Mary, we took turns running through the rows while those in the driveway unloaded several gross of bottle rockets into the cornfield. It was good clean American fun, and everyone treated themselves to a double dose of Prozac to celebrate our freedom to wage war on anyone we want all around the Globe. Gosh, it felt good to be an American that night.

We later drove over to Justin's friend Shawn's house on the lake and got completely twisted. All I remember through the haze of Jack Daniels is standing at the helm of Shawn's parent's speedboat, ripping across Lake Winnipesauke at Mach 5 and Justin screaming at me over the wind, something about larceny and "We're dead!" upon which he returned to his fit of giggles, nailed as he was to the back of the boat by the tremendous G-forces. "I'm not dead!" I remember thinking. "I'm more alive than ever." I had no idea what he was talking about.

I remember we did a lot of tooling around in my aunt Mary's new bumble bee yellow and black Jeep. Mary's the greatest, truly the antithesis of all my maternal aunts, although, to the credit of the latter, I never spent a lot of time with mom's much older sisters. But I'm pretty sure that's a good thing. Mary reads like a fiend and is no doubt responsible for Justin being the extremely literate news aficionado that he is. And perhaps because she reads, she more than anyone in my family appreciates what I do and how hard I've struggled to keep at it when all the world wanted me to be a Fuller Brush salesman or something.

Anyway, aunt Mary and cousin Justin delivered the goods. All inheritors of depressive genes, we share a love of self-medication via "ye ole cocktail." We put a good dent in the New Hampshire state liquor store that week, let me tell ya. And every morning, Mary whipped up a batch of her famous bloody namesake to kill the irksome ache of last night and lay the groundwork for another day of liquid summer fun. Although Justin's lovely redheaded, sharp-witted and barely-out-of-her-teens girlfriend Jess never hooked me up with one of her hottie young friends as I begged her do, we did manage to squeeze a lot of fun into that Fourth of July week including waterskiing, wave-hopping with tear-ass jet skis, pole-vaulting over livestock, rope-swinging and jumping off the train trestle into the river, and of course 18-holes of golf with New Hampshire native Adam Sandler, in town to visit his folks.

Jenna Whatsherface from the first episode of Survivor, she's from Justin's hometown of Franklin. She must have been home to visit her parents, too, because we ran into her at this seafood joint on the lake with a dock and boat fueling area out back where my Grandpa used to take me to fuel up the boat. Justin's brother's best friend's cousin's sister went to high school with Jenna Survivor, and I was apparently sufficiently intoxicated that night to draw a six-degrees of separation connection out of all that, bringing it down to one degree as I sidled up next to her at the bar.

I don't remember saying anything to her, kind of like you don't remember the moments leading up to a major car crash you were in. But according to Jess, who smelled trouble and followed me chaperone-like from our booth to the bar, I laid that line on her from the comedy film "Joe Dirt," you know the one with the girl at the fair: "If I told ya you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?" It's that whole useless celebrity thing I was talking about, I guess. I didn't really want her. I guess I just wanted to piss her off. Apparently, I succeeded. The next morning aunt Mary served up not only a bloody but an ice pack for my right eye. That Jenna Whatsherface apparently has a mean left hook.

Just so you don't think my family and I are a bunch of complete miscreants, we did do something altruistic and selfless that week. We did trail magic! That's right. You see, I wasn't the only AT thruhiker playing hooky from the trail that week. Party Girl was in Contooquack or Loonville or whatever the name of that town she's from in New Hampshire. Big Stick was in the Granite State, too, somewhere on Lake Winnipesauke with his family. We weren't able to contact Stick in time, so he missed out. But Party Girl, Jess, Justin and I headed up to where the AT crosses some isolated highway just south of the White Mountains with a cooler loaded with hot dogs, sodas and beer. Oh, and a big jug of whatever insane cocktail had turned my cousin into the Great Black-Eyed Alien Shark back on the ride home from the airport. This was for late-evening consumption, after we'd established camp and spent the day feeding hikers, just in case things got boring.

Well, it was boring all right. Right from the get-go. Why? Because we didn't have one damn thruhiker customer in the two nights spent out there. All I can figure: location, location, location! We were just too far north for the AT in early July, and no one, not even speedy Elly, had yet made it that far north. Sure, we saw hikers and fed or watered a few. But these were all just day or weekend hikers. And I'm sorry, but after a thousand miles, I was already a hiker snob. Day hikers just weren't up to snuff. I gave them sodas but sat on the beer cooler with zipped lips until and only after a hiker had proven their salt. If they were cool, we gave 'em the works. If they were dorks, they went hungry. We were savage and cruel by the afternoon of our second day. I had wanted to show Justin and Jess REAL thruhikers, and I was sorely disappointed and took out my disgust on every ill-equipped day-hiking dork.

No, wait. I remember what it was that really chapped my ass and had me bad-mouthing hikers just out of earshot. It was that whole "don't talk to strangers" fear thing adults instill in their children. Okay. There are monsters out there, and sometimes children get eaten. This is horrid, but it is nothing new. Look at poor toaster muffins Hansel & Gretel from centuries old folklore. But after all the beauty and kindness and trail magic of the south, I'd forgotten to fear strangers in the forest. Everyone in the south was an angel. So I was unprepared to be treated like a potential monster by fearful parents out hiking with their kids. But that's exactly how we were treated.

Think what you want, but it had nothing to do with us. The beer we had for beer-thirsty thruhikers was, as I said, hidden from view. So then was the beer we consumed, poured from cans into our Nalgene bottles or plastic cups. Both Party Girl and Jess are extremely attractive women, and Justin and myself are at the very least non-threatening in appearance. But the fear-addled parental units had never seen trail magic and apparently had no idea why we were sitting there trailside handing out sodas and cooking hot dogs. The children, thirsty from a long hike, would dive for our sodas, but the Units would intervene and tell the children "No, you're NOT thirsty. You can wait until we reach the car."

Yeah. That was it. That was what turned me mean by day's end. I'm disgusted by war. I'm disgusted by television. I'm disgusted that every other show on TV is about cops and lawyers busting people. But what really disgusts me, what I'll go so far as to say I hate, is fear.

Funny. All these years I've been repeating Hunter Thompson's famous phrase "fear & loathing," taking it at face value and enjoying its linguistic weight in describing some general state of darkness surrounding all good and honest pursuits. But you are what you eat, as they say. And the heart listens; the cells listen. And the fear has undercut everything in my life; and the loathing, denied expression in the form of healthy anger, has no doubt also been my downfall.

But philosophical bullshit aside, I would rephrase Thompson and call what I felt there in the woods trying to be an angel but being regarded as a threat, "loathing of fear." And it pissed me off something royal.

So at day's end, we gave up and retreated to our camp not far from the trail and drank the devil's punch. When in Rome, you know the rest. I wasn't the only one who felt smudged by the largely-ill reception of our good deed. And so we drank. And out came the politics: abortion, capital punishment, you name it. I learned that night that Party Girl, like Jester, was a misnomer of a trail name. Party Girl was actually a fairly serious, sometimes-contemplative, sometimes-hot-headed woman with stone-set conservative values. If she was the life of the party that night, it was only because her every political stance was so absolutely 180 degrees from those held by my cousin, and to a lesser degree (because I'm about as fond of polarized political parlance as I am of TV), me.

The party, then, was largely a joust between P.G. (as she would later call herself, trying, like me, to shake her given trail name) and Justin, with occasional shouts, screeches, guffaws and camel-spitting by Jess and myself. I would say it was a drunken joust, and often enough jocular, but there were a few explosive moments, and I recall P.G. claiming she was sober. Anyway, as far as I recall (and this was probably intentional on my part) the debate and all else that night degraded into madness as I took to speaking, nay, shouting in tongues and dancing around and occasionally into the fire like an insane native whose spirit animal is the moth. In the morning, there was rain. A deluge, really. We packed out and went our separate ways.

Then it was off to Hampton on Friday for an all-family barbecue at Dad's house by the sea. Love my Dad though I do, I wasn't looking forward to a weekend in his wife's house (that's what he calls it). With her daughters grown and moved away and my sister and I gone 23 years ago after our parent's divorce settled, the house is like a little museum of New England-flavored.. whatever. Everything is very neat and clean, and one hesitates to besmirch with one's presence. Ever since I arrived fresh off a cross-country train trip, and, upon being shown my room by my father's wife, was told I stank, well, I just feel dirty when I'm there. And unwelcome. The refrigerator in my step-mother's house, like most refrigerators in America, has pictures all over it. But there's something decidedly different about her fridge. One, all the pictures are arranged in a neat square, dead center of the fridge door; and two, every member of our extended families all the way out to distant cousins is represented except one. Can you guess who?

As a joke, Mary and Justin bought the prodigal son a milk advert knockoff t-shirt, black with white lettering that said, "Got Jesus?" Oh, how I wanted to wear it. But going to my stepmother's house meant sobering up. Not out of etiquette, but angst. There's nothing worse than being emotionally hungover in a house where the ill-repute is you. With the copious cocktails of the past week, so went my nerve. Thus, no shirt. I mean, I didn't wear it in front of them anyway. Besides, it would have been a conversation starter. And the last thing I wanted to talk about after 1000-miles of walking off the death of a not-likely-religious buddy who blasted his way into Heaven with a double-barrel shotgun, was Jesus.

Not long into the barbecue, Mary and Justin and Jess drove off in Mary's bumble-bee Jeep and left me. The sting was almost unbearable. A drive to the beach and some time spent with my lovely step-sister helped a lot. When my step-mother made a shockingly uncharacteristic laundry blunder and shrunk my favorite wool sweater, she sent my Dad and me shopping for a replacement. That done, Dad took me to his old watering hole, a fish and cocktail joint off some ocean tributary in Portsmouth. I watched the sun set over the water and all the pretty boats at dock and Dad had a few drinks with me (he doesn't drink around his wife) and eased into himself, into a more comfortable version of himself as the father of a nearly 40-year old man, a man who had inherited all his insecurities and proclivity for depression but was this very summer climbing Mt. Everest 17 times, and it was good. And in the golden light of the magic hour he joked with the waitress and here and there announced my great undertaking to people around us in the bar, and that, too, was good. It made up for the erasure of me from his wife's fridge. In the morning before he took me to the airport, we attended service at his church and some woman he knew well stared wide-eyed upon meeting me, having never heard he had a son. In retrospect, our sunset moment in the Portsmouth pub makes up for that, too.

So now Jesus is a pita here at the Rye Bethany church, and the pastor says he will come like a thief in the night. And steal what? I wonder. All our bread? The pita and the rye. Ha-ha hodeeho. (Until today, I'd never seen a communion where the Body of Christ was finely chopped pita bread.) Let him come. Me, I'm gone. Been here, done the family thing, and determined perhaps once and for all that discussion of politics or the news or religion is pointless with my father. God bless him. The banquet has been laid out, and he will have his place at the table. Me, I'll return to the pure, unquestioning Christianity of my youth when all Christians everywhere open their arms and say all who believe in a supreme being will be welcome in Heaven, religious-affiliation aside.

For now, however, the Jews are out, and forget about the Mormons, the Muslims, and the Buddhists. "Don't get hung up on that," my father says. "Don't get stuck on that issue or you'll never come to know the good things about Jesus." Don't get stuck? Does that mean don't think? Turn a blind eye? Pay no attention to those people being loaded onto boxcars. They're not going to Heaven, anyway. They're not Christians!

I am stuck, thus, at the exclusivity clause. I will probably always be stuck here. Stuck in the Hades between Heaven and Earth. Stuck between the zealous likes of my father and all my independent, intellectual, artistic and thoroughly anarchistic agnostic or atheistic friends who believe in a different god or no god and find my hopeful belief in Heaven an absurdity.

In my father's church this morning I met a pretty woman named Katie. Very lovely, tall, intelligent, no doubt believes in Heaven. I doubt she smokes, probably "my ideal" match. I left the church sad this morning, sure that no such woman would ever embrace the likes of me, a broken and hobbling Christian summer camp refugee-gone gonzo drug-addled devourer of earthly life. Despite all the walking, all the depression-busting levity, all the fun where might have run the blood of suicide, at times like this I feel less the athlete, less the accomplished writer and more the Mad Hatter in an oyster-sucking contest with the Walrus. The Walrus is winning. And after ten days off the trail, I am forgetting. And when the oysters are gone, the Walrus is going to eat me, my hiking boots, this book, and yikes! If you don't let go now, he'll probably even eat you!

It's July 11th here at the Manchester airport bar awaiting the flight that will take me back to Duncannon and the Appalachian Trail, and these are the thoughts that I'm thinking.

Where am I? What's it all mean? And will I, when I crest that cold rock far up in New England where Maine juts hard into Canada, will I have written something worth reading, worth publishing? Will I have stomped the American terra and told the tale well enough and with enough pride and gratitude in my American freedoms to please a nation of fear junkies, and maybe even, the poor battle-crazed soldiers in Iraq?

Will I?

Shark fish turbine with whirl of deadly spinning whiskers walks me, effortless, through cumulous sky seas high into the blue July of coming night. And it's Pittsburgh below...

[end of added material]

Thanks to my cuz for that and for more of his adventures and prose dont forget to bookmark jigglebox.com. He is soon heading out on a fully sponsored hike of the Continental Divide Trail to raise awarness for Depression and Suicide Prevention. Stay tuned for more on that in the future.

J

Happy Birthday America

2005-07-06T09:36:00.000-04:00

The 4th of July weekend is now over and we can all shuffle back to our daily routines once again. Sometimes I wonder if people really stop and think about our Independence Day. I know I usually don't but this year was a little different. After all we have thousands of US troops in harms way across the globe fighting to keep us all safe. It doesn't matter if we agree with this bullshit Iraqi occupation or not because the utmost honor and respect should be bestowed upon these brave men and women. They do the jobs most of us are too chicken or lazy to even think about doing. We wish them all a safe and quick tour of duty.

I also want to thank Amber Deahn. Amber works at a Denn'ys restaurant in Idaho. She was smart enough to recognize a 9 yr old girl eating at one of her booths at 2 am as a missing young girl who's family had been brutally murdered. In essence she saved Shasta Groene's life. For anyone unaware of this true life horror story I will fill you in. This young girl and her brother were kidnapped 6 weeks ago from their Idaho home. The rest of the family had been bound and beaten to death. Shasta's brother Dylan is still missing and feared dead. A 42 year old pedophile has been charged with the kidnapping and most likely committed the murders. He also sexually assaulted these young children. This is a perfect example of how the system DOES NOT work in this country. Read this piece of shits Blog here and tell me he should have been released from prison!? Again, thank Amber for not being stoned or too lazy to recognize this girl and actually keeping her eyes out for the missing kids. Most people would never have even noticed her. Sometimes I have hope for our race.

On a lighter note I would like to recommend a great DVD collection for anyone who enjoys British comedy. Some of you may have heard of the show The Office. It was an original comedy on BBC in Britain and recently got a makeover for US audiences and was quite good but not as good as the UK version. There were two seasons and then a special that followed, catching up on all the characters a few years after season 2 wrapped. It is funny, sad and poignant all at the same time not to mention extremely well acted. These are feature most American shows sorely lack. I highly recommend it. Pick it up here.

I am tired now. It was quite a weekend though I cant remember anything incredibly remarkable happening. At least it will be a short week at work.

Cheers.

J

A Bonus Beef! Shut the fuck up Tom

2005-06-28T10:25:00.000-04:00

I thought I could get through a day without a beef. I just wanted to add Tom Cruise to my list of people who need to shut the fuck up. He is currently on the list with Oprah, Dick Cheney and Pat Robertson. Tom, a devout scientolgist, told Matt Lauer on the "Today" show that "psychiatry is a pseudo science" and while disputing the effectiveness of antidepressants generally, Cruise said, "all it does is mask the problem." He added, "There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance." So the beeflog is proud to tell Tom Cruise to shut the fuck up and take himself and all of L. Ron Hubbards clones and quietly fist themselves.

Adios

J

click here and then up on the right hand corner click the 6/26 Aspen Times Article.

A Fast and Furious 4 Days

2005-06-28T10:00:00.000-04:00

Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves fast, Sometimes you have to take the time to stop and look around." Or something to that affect. This couldn't be more true but lately I haven't had much time to look around. I have set myself into such a groove that even the slightest change throws me off course. The good news is my fitness routine is already showing results and I have been good at sticking to my programs. Unfortunately when something like shopping for a used car comes up it can throw your schedule of course. The search is over though and after much searching and realizing that in my price range I had to really balance my options I went for looks and speed over economics and long term investment. In other words I got myself a sports car with T-Tops to zoom around in for the time being. Its a Nissan 300zx (see photo), excellent shape for its age and I look forward to snazzing it up a bit and making it even more eye catching than it is now. Was a high mileage, older sports car the smart choice? Probably not but was it the fun choice? I think so and I bet Ferris Bueller would agree.

Did I mention I got back together with my girlfriend? Faithful Blog readers know all about my 2 plus year relationship that was recently deep sixed and it left me with a lot of choices to make. I basically decided that I wasn't ready to throw away 2 + years of my life and if others could overcome issues similar to mine why not me? I will admit if she hadn't came to me and pleaded her case so passionately the outcome of this weekend probably would have been different. I still love her but if she was willing to take time off from eatch other then so was I. That was my original plan at least. She didn't want to wait anymore and I made the decision to give it one more shot. Im going to be 31 years old soon. I am still in love with her, still happy to be around her so I made the obvious choice. I don't want to join the meat market. I'm too old for that crap. Not to mention that 90% of all females out there over 28 are divorced w/kids or single mothers. This is not the direction I want to head into. Ill take my chances and there wont be any "told ya so's" either. I know the gamble I take and even though the odds aren't in my favor I don't mind the risk. I look at it as I'm playing with the houses money now and I think it will pay off in the end.

The heat was brutal this weekend so the pool we had installed last year finally paid off even though Jess and I spent the weekend driving around looking at cars. Thank god that is over. Also we went and saw Land of The Dead on Friday night. It was very good though I have to see it again because the sound sucked and I still had a lot on my mind at the time. I don't have much to beef on today so consider this just a personal update. Hope everyone is well and surviving the heatwave if your on the east coast.

tomorrow the beefs continue...

P.S-Lord Duke! Call me at work!!!!!!

Oprah needs to shut the hell up:The Week in Review

2005-06-24T10:12:00.000-04:00

So another week has passed us and nothing much exciting or ground breaking has been happening in the world. There was a neat story about an 11 year old boy who spent 4 days in the mountains of Utah all by himself and survived. Now that's one tough little cub scout. He would have been found earlier except he kept avoiding people because he was always told not to talk to strangers. It's too bad our society is so deranged that good advice can sometime lead to the wrong choices. One thing is for sure people continue to amaze me and everytime I think I have it bad I think of people like this kid surviving on his own and stories like Joe Simpsons. If they can survive those situations we suburban wimps really need to re-evaulate issues we think are tough.

Vice President Dick Cheney recently declared the insurgency in Iraq as "in its last throes". Yesterday a top Military official who actually knows what is going on in Iraq stated that in fact the terrorist insurgents are as strong, if not stronger then when we first began to occupy that nation. Someone needs to get their facts straight. Cheney is standing behind his statements claiming that Iraq "will be an enormous success story." Just like Korea, Vietnam and Somalia right Dick?

They have arrested another person in Aruba linked to the case of the Alabama girl who disappeared there over a month ago. They have arrested a Judge who just happens to be the Father of another one of the suspects. The fact is that the Aruban police have nothing on anyone except they know as well as we all do that this unfortunate girl is dead, at the bottom of the ocean somewhere. Most likely she was killed in a fit of passion or after refusing sex and someone helped get rid of the body. There will probably be two or three people charged with 3rd degree murder or manslaughter in the very near future. This isn't going to help Aruba's reputation but if anything I hope it saves some other drunk, innocent girl from leaving her friends behind and heading to the beach with strangers.

Now about Oprah Winfrey. Quite frankly she should just shut the fuck up. There is a high class luxury store in Paris called Hermes. No I never heard of the damn place either but then again I am no big fan of anything French especially a store whose name sounds like a sexually transmitted disease. Anyway, Oprah and her entourage tried to get in to shop after the store had closed. An employee of the store explained to them that they were closed and were setting up for a private PR event and she would be welcome back in when they re-opened. Well no one says no to the big O. She is claiming that this was a "crash" moment. I didn't know what the hell that meant either so I will explain. I guess there is a new film out called "Crash" that deals with race relations and if you are a minority you have a new catch phrase every time you feel you are being discriminated against. If a black man goes into a store and there is a sign that says "No Blacks allowed" that is a "crash" moment. Does this mean when I go into a 7-11 in Jersey and ask the clerk for a pack of Lucky Strikes and he says "Goonie goo hoo" am I experiencing a "crash" moment because it takes me an hour to purchase an item because this person cannot speak English? Oprah will tell her audience all about her "crash" moment when her show returns to the air in September. According to the bastion of truth in reporting "The NY Post" someone in Hermes mentioned they had problems with "North Africans" in the store recently. Does anyone think for a moment that the clerks in Hermes didn't recognize Oprah's fat ass when she and her entourage came walking into the store? Do you think Oprah looked like she just crawled out of the jungles of New Guinea? The cost of the fabric used to make her enormous panties could buy enough food to feed half of Africa. Why on earth would Hermes want to discriminate against one of the most well known African American women in the world? A women who could hold up a pile of dog shit in her hand during her program and say "I rub this shit all over my body. Its great for my skin!". Within 20 minutes millions of housewives across the country would be rubbing animal feces all over themselves. This is the power the great O wields. I think she is pissed because she didn't get her way and the store treated her like any other customer, Black ,white or plaid. So again, Oprah just shut the hell up and I only have one thing more to say about this.

Goonie fuckin goo hoo.

have a great weekend
and
try and stay positive

J

Lists are fun and yu can Kiss my Grammerr (intentionally spelled wrong, get it?)

2005-06-22T13:00:00.000-04:00

The AFI (American Film Institute) released its top 100 Movie quotes of all time last night. All the classics were there of course but being the movie buff I am I couldn't help but compile my own list of Quotes they had forgot. Also, I often notice as I re-read some of my posts here that I occasionally miss some spelling and grammar issues. Actually the shitty spell checker built into Blogspot misses them. I try my best to be on top of this but you know what, when you are typing away like mad, writing whatever happens to be on your mind at that split second, mistakes are bound to happen. So please don't bother sending me a thesaurus for X-mas.

Before we get to the Movie quote list I wanted to tell those who asked; Yes I am doing well considering the circumstances. When a lot of empty time opens up in your life the need to fill it is immediate. If not you could find yourself in a funk. The kind of funk you get into after the loss of someone close. Either way its not pretty. Surprisingly I have turned into a fitness junkie, running for miles each night on the treadmill and punishing my body with a free weight routine. Its a great time waster and can really keep your mind occupied. It makes me think of Patrick Bateman the serial killer in the film American Psycho, where he keeps himself in peak physical condition not only because of his intense vanity but to occupy himself and keep his blood lust from spilling into his days. "I finish off with my stomach crunches," he tells us, "I can do a thousand now." I can do 12. There's always room for improvement.

Here is my list and I fully expect my few faithful readers to add their own favorite movie quotes under the comments section. If you don't you are all getting Thesaruses for X-mas.

The Beef Log's top ?? list of my favorite Movie Quotes in no particular order (that AFI Missed)

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. "-Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."-Fight Club

Dante-"My girlfriend just fucked a dead guy!"
Randall- "My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad. "-Clerks

"I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man." -Swingers

"I don't even know how long she's been gone. It's like I've woken up in bed and she's not here... because she's gone to the bathroom or something. But somehow, I know she's never gonna come back to bed. If I could just... reach over and touch... her side of the bed, I would know that it was cold, but I can't. I know I can't have her back... but I don't want to wake up in the morning, thinking she's still here. I lie here not knowing... how long I've been alone. So how... how can I heal? How am I supposed to heal if I can't... feel time?"-Memento

[after student provides incorrect answer to math problem] "Ok, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard... anyone?" -South Park The Movie

"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope. " -Shawshank Redemption

"I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig. Weeeeeeee. " -Deliverence (Can you believe AFI left this one off? This is probably one of the most quoted lines of a movie ever!)

"We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. "-Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (I could have filled this list with just quotes from this film)

(Brodie Bruce speaking of T.S. and Brandi's love) "You two are retarded for each other!"-Mallrats

"when there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth." -Dawn of The Dead (1978)

"Once it escalated into a murder one beef for all of 'em after they killed the first two guards, they didn't hesitate. Popped guard number three because... what difference does it make? Why leave a living witness? At the drop of a hat these guys were Rock N Roll."-Heat

"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip. "-American Psycho

"Are you smoking this shit so's to escape from reality? Me, I don't need this shit. I am reality. There's the way it ought to be, and there's the way it is. Elias was full of shit. Elias was a crusader. Now, I got no fight... with any man who does what he's told. But when he don't, the machine breaks down. And when the machine breaks down, we break down. And I ain't gonna allow that... in any of you. Not one."-Platoon

(on caddying for the Dhali Lamma) "So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice." -Caddyshack

"I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!" -American Pie

"Hey, Jack! Mickey's back!"-Natural Born Killers

"I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise. "-Reservoir Dogs

Bob Wiley: "You ever hear of Tourette's syndrome? Involuntarily shouting out profanities?"
Dr. Leo Marvin:" It's exceptionally rare."
Bob Wiley: "Shit-eating son-of-a-bitch... bastard, douche-bag, twat, numb-nuts, dickhead!"
Dr. Leo Marvin: "Why exactly are you doing this?"
Bob Wiley: "Well, if I fake it then I don't have it." -What About bob?

"Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face!"-Pulp Fiction

"I see your Shwartz is as big as mine!"-Spaceballs

"First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow." -Army Of Darkness

UPDATE on 6/23:I Cant beleive I left out these from two of my favorite movies! I was up all night ashamed at how neglectful I was!

Donnie:"Why are you wearing that stupid bunny suit?"
Frank"Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?"-Donnie Darko

and

[on her pills] "Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, and orange in the evening. Just like that, one, two, three, four.."-Requiem For A Dream

"Ass to Ass!!"-Requiem for a Dream (classic!)

Now Im complete.

and the list could go on..............

Look forward to yours.

Stay Groovy,

J

New Look

2005-06-20T13:44:00.000-04:00

Hey I changed the look of the Blog a bit. Hope you like it. The other was too drab for me. Now you got words on the left and links and archives on the right. The Links will change periodically depending on my moods. The only one that will stay at all times is the first one. You should all jump down the rabbit hole of you haven't already. Also if you want to read or post comments to specific blog posts they will be in a new window now to make it a little simpler. Just click on comments at the end of the posting. I highly encourage everyone to leave comments if they feel like it. I'm also toying with the HTML to add some other cool stuff. We will see what I can come up with.

J

The Post Mortem

2005-06-20T10:09:00.000-04:00

Everything is coming full circle now. I have come to the realization that my 2 year relationship is over. The women I love is gone and I am single again, sitting here ready to open another chapter of my life. I think I'm on chapter 3,256. All kidding aside, I have to think positive and move on and not be angry and not hold grudges or any of that bullshit. That's High School crap and I am 30. I want to graciously thank all my friends and family for being supportive and making me feel loved and showing their concern. With out these fine people I would have had a lot more trouble getting through these tough times. It means a lot to me and thank you all. Also I say the same to her family, they were great and they always treated me as one of their own and I look forward to visiting and keeping in touch with them in the future. As far as my breakup goes on the Beeflog, this chapter is closed. In my private life its gonna take time but here its time to get back the rhetoric,the spite,the humor and just plain good ole talkin shit! Lets go piss of some Neo-Cons!

So its too bad for all you Medical marijuana puffers. The supreme court has decided that its up to the Federal government, NOT the state where you reside, to choose whether or not you can grow a small amount of pot in your yard to treat the grapefruit sized tumor in your skull that is going to kill you in a month. We wouldn't want someone in chronic pain to be able to ease their suffering and maybe get the munchies. Banning pot for medical use is an affront to sick and suffering people everywhere and it is a complete joke that these tight ass bible thumping Republicans cannot see that and cannot see the benefits of Hemp and Medical marijuana. Shit man, I don't even like pot but I know it has medicinal values and the hemp plant itself has thousands of cost effective uses. They have been trying to legalize it or at least lessen the restrictions on pot for ever. In this day and age it will never happen, the far right has created a shroud of evil around pot, making it into this huge gateway drug that is destroying today's youth. All pot has done is make Frito Lay corporation rich and The Grateful Dead one of the biggest bands in the world except for the fact their records sold like shit because the pot heads blew all their money on twinkies and Dr. Pepper. Banning Medical marijuana? Now that aint groovy. Go here for more info.

Its so late now to comment on Michael Jackson. I know I really dropped the ball on that one but shit, my girlfriend was breaking my heart, I had more important shit going on! I didn't have time to report on his expected acquittal. No jail for Jacko I guess but his life will forever be changed for him. Do I think he diddled young boys? Probably not. Do I think he is a friggin weirdo that shouldn't be around kids unsupervised? Damn straight. All I know is the Press had a field day with this trial and honestly it was lame. The OJ trial was much better. We need a different celeb to fuck up so we can have a fun trial. How about a murder on a reality show! Now that would rock. Clay Aiken gets sniped out during the finals of American Idol or someone really gets eliminated from the Survivor Island or better yet, the whole cast has a mutiny and they roast Jeff Probst the host over an open fire and eat him alive. Now that I would watch.

I am hungry now, is it lunch time??

Silly J

Extra!Extra!

Recommended Movies: The Machinist: see Christian (Batman) Bale look like a living skeleton, experience his waking nightmares brought on by the fact he hasn't slept for a year. See a dark moody but wonderfully crafted picture from the writer/director of the creepy cult hit Session 9.

The Aviator: Movie and history buffs can rejoice in Scorcese's masterpiece about the life and times of the eccentric Howard Hughes. Wonderfully cast, gorgeous sets and settings and a look into the mind of a billionare slowly going mad. Great stuff.

2005-06-17T09:21:00.000-04:00

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." ~ Henry Van Dyke

Van Dyke's quote makes me ponder the meaning of our existence. Not so much in the sense of why we are here but what the hell are we doing while we are here. The space in between birth and death. How much time will you spend being miserable? How much time will you spend happy and how much of that time will you spend in love. One of the most ridiculous and out right bullshit quotes of all time is "Life is what you make it". Anyone who has spent more than 18 or so years on this planet knows that this is a bunch of bunk. Life is where you choose to steer your ship, unfortunately the shallows and reefs of life can sometimes be unavoidable. Hence my ship sits here stuck on a reef, slowly putting on water.

"How long before we go down Captain?"
"Well that depends boy, how fast do you want to bale water?"
"I say fuck it and abandoned ship."

My brother made me get all teary eyed this morning. He called to check on me last night and left a message on my voice mail since I was fast asleep in a Valium induced coma. He just called to check in on me and at the end he said "love ya". The reason he was checking on me was because last night I found out that during the two days my girlfriend and I spent apart ( broken up) she slept with someone. The same guy she works with and the same one I have been suspicious of for months now. The same one I gave a hefty bitch slap upside the head too last night when I confronted them both about this little revelation. Jess only denied it for about 20 minutes. It did not really come as a shock. As of this writing she is taking the "we were broken up and I was confused" route but I am taking the fucking exit. Granted yes, she didn't technically cheat on me. I respect the fact that she did exactly what I asked of her 2 years ago. PLEASE break up with me if you are going to screw around. Well she did and then she came back to me but never mentioned what happenned and I did ask. This isnt exactly what I meant when I said leave me before you cheat. The coming back part wasnt in the original plan. Now anyone who has been in love before knows that something like this would change our relationship permanently and for the worse. If we tried to stay together it would be a disaster. It would only be a matter of time before we broke up again. I know Jessica and I know she is not a bad person and would not have deliberately try to hurt me. I just dont think she weighed the options. I dont hate her. I am just hurting inside and wish what happened never happenned. I wish she never got a job at that fuckin place she works at and I wish we comminucated with each other better. I hope my few Readers forgive me, I am pretty upset right now.

Now back to my brother. When he said "love ya" it really got too me. I don't think he has ever said that to me. He said it because he knows I am hurting and he had to witness 14 years ago when my High School sweetheart ceremoniously dumped me after nearly 3 years. I was destroyed. I think he is genuinely worried about me and that really warms me inside. I also thank him for breaking the news about this whole fiashaven'tbegin with. I havent been verylatelyto my brothea lottley and he has alot of tough issues to deal wia lotI lost sight of alot of things and realize that we are all human and that support an love should never be denied. You can always count on your brother to watch your back. I love ya too bro. I owe you one.

So what to do know? Get drunk and break stuff? Lose my job, piss everyone off and fuck the town whores? Naw. Been there and done all of that. The good news is I already had a plan a few weeks ago when we split the first time. I did put a few of the things in motion already (quitting smoking, diet, getting in shape etc.) so I am already part way there. Its gonna suck, no doubt about it. I have no idea what the next few weeks will have in store. At least I know exactly what I will go through emotionally it's just that I have to be sure to think positive and be constructive during the healing process. I love Jessica with all my heart and this is going to shred my current existence. I will recover though. I always do. My shell is thick now from years of abuse. Some of the abuse comes from others but a lot of it is self inflicted.

I am sick of hurting though. I am sick of putting effort into things and failing miserably. Sometimes I think it must be me. Maybe it is. Who knows. All I know is that this will be the termination of my fourth long term relationship under not so amicable circumstances. One thing Jess has going for her is that most of my ex's are doing fine now and are happily married. I could go into business for myself! Date me and find the man of your dreams!! Hehe. Ok, enough of feeling sorry for myself but its a fuckin rule you know. You should always be allowed some self pity. Its a given.

I want to apologize to my few faithful readers of my blog. I have been writing more about my fucked up life then the current events and beefs you are all used too. Dont give up on me yet. I will get back to business soon. I just have some things to straighten out. I want to ask you all a favor. When you get a chance call up a sibling, call your Mom or Dad, call your best friend. Call someone you love and tell em. Tell em you love em. It can really make someones day a little brighter.

J

'Full a piss an' vinegar.'

2005-06-16T08:52:00.000-04:00

When Steinbeck came up with that quote for the "The Grapes of Wrath" do you think he was sitting in traffic?

You get words today mainly because I am angry. I am writing this now in the heat of passion so excuse the fact that the grammar and spelling will most likely be worse than usual if that's possible.

Fuck Road construction. Fuck paving and fuck fat tattooed people waving orange flags at me. I know that our roads needs to be fixed. Potholes, cracks and faded center lanes need to be updated from time to time. You know what though? There is always construction going on right where you don't need it. Always. Never fails. We live in NH where frost heaves ruin our roads every miserable winter so it is expected that as summer rolls around out come the paving crews. So this means you have to plan you're morning and evening commute around this clusterfuck. For example; I live in a shitty town stuck 15-20 minutes on both sides from the main highway. If you want to get anywhere worth going you have to reach this highway. So if there is major paving anywhere between either of these routes you are screwed. Well it just so happens that as I write this there is one major paving operation right in the middle of my quickest and convenient route to work. If I choose the other way it will tack on 20 minutes of extra driving. Even that route is peppered with construction zones. I am trapped on all sides. Its a much less dangerous version of a minefield with me trapped in my fading S-10, my Hummer with no armor. Its slow going but I finally make it through. I was 15 minutes late today. I left 5 minutes earlier then usual because I though the bulk of the paving was done. I was wrong and sat in traffic for 20 minutes before banging a huge uturn and heading back to an alternate route. I was fuming. When I arrived at work I was going to kick my truck but stopped at the last moment. If had done that the bed of the pickup would have disintegrated into a giant pile of rust and faded paint chips. It isn't my trucks fault. It even isn't the pavers fault. In fact I don't know who to blame. That's what pisses me off even more. If I was Howard Hughes I would buy the state of NH and fire all the paving crews. Let the roads fall apart. Then that would give us all an excuse not to even go to work.
"Sorry boss, I cant make it across the West Side bridge! Why? Because the supports are cracked and last week old Jimmy Gantley fell through a pothole and was stuck up to his shoulders. It was horrible. Poor guy was stuck there for two days with no use of his arms. His wife had to feed him and keep the sun out of his eyes. She had to leave him for a few hours to tend to the kids at home and that's when the stray dogs got to him. It wasn't pretty!"

We have no choice though. Like Bon Scott said we gotta "Ride on, and on and on.."

(more coming today)

J

Lets do the beef thang!

2005-06-06T10:47:00.000-04:00

Yo, let me break this shit down for ya!

Sorry to all you Nine Inch Nails fans. All of us that wanted to see Trent and company close Thursday nights MTV movie awards ceremony with a musical performance will have to settle for the Foo Fighters. Now I love the Foo but the reason why we wont see Trent is what is bothering me. NIN wanted to use a photo of George Bush as the background while they performed. MTV said no and Reznor said fuck off. Good for you Trent.

Jacko's verdict will be announced anyday now! Can you handle the anticipation??? Will Mikey be back at Neverland sipping on Jesus Juice and watching Sesame Street in his undies or will Bubba be moonwalking all over his plastic ass in Folsom? Honestly I could give a rats ass.

A beautiful blonde High School senior disappeared in Aruba last week. She was last seen getting into a car ALONE with some local men who claimed to have dropped her off at her Hotel after a night of partying at a club. She never made her flight the next morning. AS of this writing she is still missing. I don't want to sound crass and I feel for her family and friends but is it really a mystery as to what happened? Booze+ignorance+human scumbags equals dead girl. My girlfriend wonders why I don't want her to go to out of the country or far away with just one other girlfriend. This is why.

Since "Deep Throat" has finally been revealed as ex-FBI man Mark Felt there has been a lot of debate over whether he was a Patriot or just a rat. I actually enjoy the re-juvanation of Watergate more than anything that has arisen from this new information. Especially the argument of who was a bigger scumbag, Richard "tricky dick" Nixon or Bill "Bubba" Clinton. With some help from Mediamatters.org Lets break em down shall we?

Nixon-Presiding over most corrupt administration in history; bugging opponents' offices; breaking into opposition headquarters; breaking into psychiatrist's office; forgery; using the IRS and the Justice Department to harass political opponents and reporters, and much more.

Clinton-Lying about inappropriate personal relationship; losing $48,000 in land deal.

Nixon-Approved plan to illegally use CIA to thwart FBI investigation of Democratic National Committee break-in; attorney general and deputy attorney general resigned after being ordered by Nixon to fire special prosecutor.

Clinton-Ordered Justice Department to appoint special prosecutor to avoid appearance of conflict of interest; never fired or tried to fire special prosecutors or independent counsels.

Nixon- resigned in disgrace, accepted a blanket pardon "for all offenses against the United States" he committed while president.

Clinton-Countless investigations of everything from a 15-year-old land deal to the suicide of a White House employee to allegations of drug running to White House personnel decisions to campaign fund-raising to Arlington Cemetery burial procedures revealed no criminal wrongdoing by Clintons.

Nixon-Iinvestigated, wiretapped, and audited journalists; created "enemies list" that included more than 50 reporters; Nixon allegedly ordered an aide to falsely smear syndicated columnist Jack Anderson as a homosexual; White House plotted ways to poison Anderson.
Produced -- but didn't distribute -- a critique of Whitewater coverage by Washington Post reporter Susan Schmidt

Clinton-Associate attorney general Webster Hubbell, whose conviction for stealing money from Rose Law Firm colleagues, including Hillary Clinton, were related to crimes he committed long before working in the Clinton administration.

Nixon-Contemplated firebombing Brookings Institution. (In fairness to Nixon, this plan was never actually carried out.)

Clinton-Once allegedly made Newt Gingrich sit at the back of a plane; wife warned of "vast right-wing conspiracy."

Nixon-Campaign manager/Attorney General John Mitchell convicted of conspiracy, obstruction of justice and perjury for his role in Watergate break-in and cover-up; chief of staff H.R. "Bob" Haldeman and domestic affairs adviser John Ehrlichman convicted of conspiracy and obstruction of justice; White House counsel John W. Dean III convicted of obstruction of justice; special counsel Charles W. Colson pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice.

Clinton-Got a hummer in the Oval office.

Hmm, its a tough decision. Either way both guys were elected twice and both crushed their opponents in their second run and BOTH are universally hated by the fanatics from each opposing party. What a legacy to have.

Here at the Beef we often pick on Fox News. Well don't worry. we are going to bash CNN for a moment. Wolf Blitzer Blitzer opens every afternoon by boasting of his shows seriousness with the intonation, "Stand by for hard news" Here are the hard news story's Wolfie has been covering.
Shows since May 1 that have covered the "Runaway Bride": 7
Shows since May 1 that have covered Michael Jackson: 9
Shows since May 1 that have covered the Downing Street Memo :1

What is this Downing street memo you ask? Well let us tell you since no one else cares. This memo was uncovered by the London Times. It was quite simply a brief on military action against Iraq. It was written 8 months prior to the invasion of Iraq. It clearly shows Bush had every intention of invading Iraq and plans were already in place even though they admit that Saddam was a minimal threat and had few if any WMD's. Read this excerpt:

'The Defense Secretary said that the U.S. had already begun "spikes of activity" to put pressure on the regime. No decisions had been taken, but he thought the most likely timing in U.S. minds for military action to begin was January, with the timeline beginning 30 days before the U.S. congressional elections.
The Foreign Secretary said he would discuss this with Colin Powell this week. It seemed clear that Bush had made up his mind to take military action, even if the timing was not yet decided. But the case was thin. Saddam was not threatening his neighbours, and his WMD capability was less than that of Libya, North Korea or Iran. We should work up a plan for an ultimatum to Saddam to allow back in the UN weapons inspectors. This would also help with the legal justification for the use of force."

A few months later Colin Powell was at the UN telling the world how much of a threat Iraq was and how we needed to act now. The USA and the UK set up Iraq to fail and break UN regulations. They knew they had no WMD's and they knew Sadddam would save face and balk at the inspections even though he practically gave them carte blanche in his own country. If I was a parent of a dead US soldier I think I would want some answers. Unfortunately I don't see them getting any.

J

I will return

2005-06-02T13:01:00.000-04:00

I am currently not feeling very well so there have been no new blog posts. I have been ill and just plain out of it lately. I am trying to purge myself of evil spirits but it is not working very well. I do apologize to the select few who actually stop by here. I promise I will return soon once I gain back my strength or fail in my current endeavors. Whichever comes first. For now, if you want to visit a hilarious website go here. Its a Christian movie review website. These hardcore moralists pick apart current Hollywood films and admonish the flock as to which ones to stay away from. The reviews are hilarious. Check out this tidbit from the PG-13 Boogeyman review

"Later, as the Boogeyman materializes in the tub water (now mixed with sludge) and "takes" Jessica, he holds her aloft, nude, but the scene moves so fast that its not possible to tell exactly what we see. Nevertheless, this strange sequence amounts to occult sexual violence."

Its a Mad, Mad World.

J

History gets a kick in the balls

2005-05-31T11:55:00.000-04:00

Memorial Day weekend is over and we all now moving into the summer months. I was so tired this morning after the weekend I had I cannot believe I made it into work. You may have noticed the brief post on Saturday. A sorrowful quote for a sorrowful day. On Saturday morning, after a surprising Friday conversation, Jess and I split up 2 weeks shy of our 2 year anniversary. It was quite a shock to me I must say and it was not a mutual break at all. I am not going into details but I assure everyone it had nothing to do with infidelity or anything like that. In fact Im still not totally sure why even though she did explain it as well as she could.

So I packed a bag and headed north, back to Moose Lake and my cousin who I knew would be able to keep my head screwed on straight. He was quite bummed as well as he always spoke very highly of Jess and our courtship. I knew he would make me feel somewhat better. He did more than that and for all his help and great advice I will be forever grateful to him. We spent two days analyzing our lives, our past relationships and even had a great debate on Quantum Physics of all things. The peacefulnesss of the lake and the warm atmosphere of the cabin did wonders for the soul. It didn't really matter what we did as long as it kept my mind off the empty bed awaiting me at home. I was missing Jess immensely already. I drank wine, beer and popped downers. We routinely took shots of Crown Royal and toasted to the best things in life that are still yet to come. Monday morning I awoke very early. The whole villa was quiet as Rick slept, still exhausted from the late night arrival of friend Dan. I packed up, not eager to leave but eager to get home and restart my life. I left a note, thanked Rick for everything and started the trek home which took longer than usual as it was clogged with Holiday Traffic.
Once home, Jess called and said she was coming over to get some of her things. She didn't sound very good. When she arrived we started talking. The last three days seem to run in reverse, everything she was saying seemed to come from a whole different place then where she was Friday night. I sat there as though I had been the one who wanted her to leave and she was very much NOT wanting to go anywhere. She said she had wanted to call me every hour I was gone. She said she had made a big mistake. And she cried a lot. I guess it only took her two days away from me to realize that. If for even a moment I though the emotions were insincere or if something seemed fishy then I would have helped her pack her stuff, but as I hugged her she nearly collapsed in my arms from exhaustion. I know that feeling and I know everything she said she meant. I was exhausted myself. All the stress and tension had been lifted and neither of us could barely move.
So I guess for the record we will say we took 48 hours off from each other. Everyone needs some alone time. I guess we decided alone time without each other was no fun.

So it was not a joyous Holiday weekend for me but it had a happy ending at least. During my stay in Maine I made some serious decisions about my life. I still plan on keeping true to all those. I will talk about them from time to time. I hope everyone else's weekend was less dramatic and more enjoyable then mine.

Sleeping Again,

J

History Repeats Itself

2005-05-28T13:11:00.000-04:00

"Love's pleasure lasts but a moment; love's sorrow lasts all through life." -Jean Pierre Claris De Florian

There is no sin

2005-05-26T09:41:00.000-04:00

I tried posting this the other day but good ole Blogspot decided to freeze up and be its general pain in the ass. Anyway I have been educating myself on stem cell research lately, helping myself to understand what it is and why certain people oppose it. I want to be able to form my opinion based on fact not fantasy. More on that soon. During my travels though I read through some great Agnostic websites. This is the non-Religion I am leaning towards since I have decided I want to call myself something. I mean everyone else gets to right? Since I am not an Atheist I figured I would do some research on religion also. Anyway, I found this great reflection on Sin from the "Church of the Apathetic Agnostic." Its good stuff. More later..

In Dermot Healy's novel, Sudden Times, there is the following exchange between the narrator and a German psychiatrist:
"I have something for you," he said, "something special."
"Yes?"
"Do you know," he asked, "the meaning of the word sin?"
"I have an idea."
"You are thinking of religion."
"I suppose I am."
"I mean the meaning of the word."
"OK," I said, "fire ahead."
"It means, in most languages," he said, "to be. To exist."
"Go on"
I"t is true," and he nodded emphatically. "Yah. I found it in a dictionary in Berlin and I thought of you."

I found that to be a fascinating passage. While I have been unsuccessful in confirming that in most (or indeed any) languages sin does indeed mean "to be" or "to exist", it certainly seems to express a truth.
Nearly all of us have all heard of "original sin."
Original sin may be taken to mean: (1) the sin that Adam committed; (2) a consequence of this first sin, the hereditary stain with which we are born on account of our origin or descent from Adam.[2]
Just by virtue of being born, we are automatically deemed sinners. And believers are only too fond of telling us that "We are all sinners."

And there is no getting away from sin. In addition to being born in sin, many of our natural acts in our day-to-day lives are considered sins, whether they come about willingly or not. Many of our dreams, our thoughts, our desires, even though they may arrive unbidden, are considered sins. Menstruation, natural though it is; masturbation, whether awake or asleep; the sex act, even within the confines of marriage; are all sins. With no intention or wish to do wrong, to be evil, we have no choice. We are automatically sinners.

The whole religious panoply of sin exists solely to put us continually in the wrong, to make us permanently guilty, to blackmail us into seeking unneeded and unnecessary forgiveness just for living our lives.
So much that is considered sin has nothing to do with morality, nothing to do with right and wrong.
The first definition of sin in most dictionaries links the word to the breaking of religious law.
As agnostics, let us banish the word "sin" from our vocabularies. Agnosticism promulgates no laws for you to break. Consequently, as an agnostic, you cannot sin.
This is not to say we banish morality. This is not to say we shouldn't endeavour to choose right over wrong, to do good rather than evil.
Morality, right and wrong, good and evil are important concepts which I hope to discuss further. But sin? It has no relevance to pursuing a good life.

Go my children and sin no more.

J

I hate New England Weather

2005-05-20T15:17:00.000-04:00

i cant believe this bullshit.

Why did I leave Florida?

The Beef Busts Out (get comfy)

2005-05-20T11:56:00.000-04:00

So I started this Blog in the new year as a sort of therapy for myself, a way to sharpen my writing chops and to basically write whatever leaks out of my mind. I have done my best to keep it updated but lately its hard to find the time. Its not for lack of effort though. Actually just now is a great example. I try to write at work during the slow times except the slow times are pretty much non existent lately. As I just typed these last few sentences my phone rang three times. Yipee. Seems everyone wants to call me on Friday's. Its like clockwork. Enough of that though. Lets get on with it shall we?

So Saddam is in his tighty whities on the cover of an English tabloid today. This has caused a great uproar and the US army is conducting a full investigation. Good! Exposing the human race to a photo of a hairy, smelly former dictator in his Fruit of the Looms must surely violate some sort of the Geneva Convention.

So not much is getting done in Congress lately. The whiny Democrats, still smarting from the ass whooping in November are now blocking almost all of Georgie's government appointments. The rightwingers cant understand why they would do such a thing. After all who doesn't want someone like Priscilla Owens on the Supreme Court? She is only an extreme-right activist who favors corporations over working families, opposes abortion rights and is too slow in writing opinions. And lets not forget the slimy Republicans using Senate rules to block many black, Hispanic and female nominees during the Clinton administration. Quite honestly they all suck. I can only hope some day in my lifetime I can see a strong third party arise from the trail of filth the Democrats and Republicans leave every time they run around in circles, chasing eatchothers tails.

Have I mentioned how much I despise Ticketmaster? So these genital warts are fleecing everyone that ever buys tickets through them. Pearl Jam had the right idea when they took these scumbags to the Supreme Court trying to prove how they are a Monopoly which they are. So today I purchased 2 tickets to a show in Manchester at the Verizon Center in June. I got one for me and one for Jess. 3 doors down, Staind and Breaking Benjamin. Should be cool, I enjoy Staind and BB though not too big on 3 Doors but I digress. So the tickets cost 39.50 each. Fine. Of course when I started going to big event concerts they were $$15.00 You cant buy a pizza at Verizon for $15.00 today.
They tack on a Building Facility Charge of $1.00. Ok no biggie I guess. So Verizon makes an extra buck. Now ticketmasters bullshit "convenience charge" is $8.25 PER TICKET. This "convenience charge" roughly translates into "the bend over and take it in the poop shoot" charge. Ticketmaster has now made $16.50 from me. that's nearly 37% of the actual ticket cost. Then right after you grin and bear it, right before you click on submit they add $3.25 for the mysterious "order processing charge" roughly translated as...."oops we ran out of KY and here comes 6 of my closest friends.." Sooooo Tickemaster raped me for $19.75. They are vicious greedy pigs that deserve to rot in hell and hang out with Saddam in his undies and have to watch American Idol over and over and over again then be violated in a sexual manner by Ruben Studdard as Clay Aiken runs around in a Donald Trump mask screaming "you are Fired you little bitches!!!".

Lets move on then. Star Wars is finished. After all the hype and excitement the saga ends with "The Revenge of The Sith". I saw it last night and was quite satisfied with the film. I am not a Star Wars freak, I don't wear C3p0 underoos and I didn't dress up for the premiere but I do enjoy the series greatly. Basically it has become part of American Pop Culture so much that its hard not to reference the films in some way. I had the toys as a child, read the books and still to this day enjoy some of the Video Games. Sure, some of the dialog was cheesy, the acting somewhat stilted but Lucas put a fine explanation point on what is arguably the most influential and enjoyable sci-fi timewasters ever. Thank you George for giving us this popcorn chomping fun and giving us the chance to laugh at the people that dress up like Boba Fett. So as Master Yoda would say, "A fitting end to a great movie franchise it is, but if grown up you are and go out in public dressed like me, a bashed in skull you will receive!"

A few notes before I retire for the weekend. Lord Duke, aka Raul Duke, aka my cousin is in town. I will be visiting with him this weekend to catch up on things and to properly say goodbye to Hunter. I will be bringing equipment with me that will allow total coverage. I know he is busy editing his great Appalachian Journey which will soon be a wonderful book,(and you should click here and read it now!) but I'm sure we will find the time to conduct an interview. Stay tuned for that.
I also want to say hello to a new beef reader, she knows who she is. Haven't talked in 6 years but there is always time to catch up. Welcome aboard and thanks for the kind words regarding this Blog.

I am sure there is more stuff ready to be wrung from my brain but I am done for now. I look forward to this weekend as it has been an exremely busy week. See ya all on Monday. Till then,

goodbye

Auf Wiedersehen

Adiós

Au revoir

Arrivederci

Adeus

さようなら

안녕

peace out holmies

Slacker part 2

2005-05-18T16:40:00.000-04:00

I know I have been slacking. I have alot to talk about but for now you will just have to take the worlds shortest political test. Take it here.

I am a left-leaning Centrist. Who knew?

I also want to use this post to debut a new feature here on the beeflog. Drum roll please....
The dumbass quote of the week! This weeks dumbass, Bill O'rielly of Fox News.

"And 10 years, this is gonna be a totally different country than it is right now. Laws that you think are in stone -- they're gonna evaporate, man. You'll be able to marry a goat -- you mark my words!"The Factor 03-29-05

"So this is just the beginning, ladies and gentlemen, of this crazy gay marriage insanity -- is gonna lead to all kinds of things like this. Courts are gonna be clogged. Every nut in the world is gonna -- somebody's gonna come in and say, "I wanna marry the goat." You'll see it; I guarantee you'll see it."-The Factor.04-15-05

What is his infatuation with Farm Animals all about?

Positives and Negatives in AmeriKa

2005-05-11T10:00:00.000-04:00

I often rant and rave about the fucked up state of our country. I try to speak of the positives as much as possible but sometimes things just plain old suck and tend to get worse depending on the current political climate in the country. Here are a few more great examples of politics and religions impact on our lives.

In North Carolina this week Baptist Minister Chan Chandler resigned. Why? Because he preached politics on the pulpit and even kicked out members that disagreed with his political views and finally people got sick of it. He is a Republican, they were not. He often held fiery sermons on abortion and its evils and even though most members agreed on those points they didn't agree that he should have used the pulpit as a political soapbox. "Congregants of the 100-member church in western North Carolina have said Chandler endorsed President Bush from the pulpit during last year's presidential campaign and said that anyone who planned to vote for Democratic nominee Sen. John Kerry needed to "repent or resign."

Isn't this great? Even religious folk aren't safe at their own houses of worship.

So I'm sure you heard about the piece of human excrement that beat and stabbed two little girls in Chicago. This anal leakage known as Jerry "I take it in the poop shoot" Hobbs was just released from prison in Texas after serving a whopping 2 years for trying to kill his girlfriend with a chainsaw. He has been in a and out of prison for many different VIOLENT crimes and was supposed to take anger management classes. Instead he skipped probation, went to Illinois and murdered 2 little girls. Well it warms my heart to know that shitheads like Hobbs are running the streets when folks like the Garrison brothers of Maryland are serving 15-20 years for their first ever conviction. A non violent drug offence. Read about the farce of a case that was presented in court here. No drugs, No evidence just the words of a few convicted drug dealers. God, I love AmeriKa. Land of the fucked, home of the naïve.

On a lighter note my beloved Red Sox are continuing their winning ways in spite of the many injuries affecting their lineup. Johnny Damon is currently the hottest player in the Major Leagues. In my 20+ years of following the Red Sox I have never seen a player hotter than Damon. Every time he gets up he gets a hit, an RBI or walks. Literally every time. Its quite a site to watch.

I had a great week on Ebay. I posted a bunch of crap I had laying around and pulled in about $220. Not too shabby. I still have a book online that is currently going for $50. That old saying is true, your junk is other peoples treasure!

So Jess and I are having car trouble. I think we will have to start car shopping which should be about as painful as listening to the President speak. More bills and headaches on the way just in time for summer.

Speaking of summer I think its here in NH. I'm not sure though. Just when you think its going to be nice it rains or snows or an orgy of the two appears. Last summer here was a complete bust. I swear we were lucky to have 2 full weeks of sun and NEVER in a row. I still wonder why I left Florida.

J

Thank all the Moms

2005-05-06T16:11:00.000-04:00

Dont forget to call Mom this weekend or stop by if possible. They may not make a big deal out of it but Mothers Day really does mean alot to them. Mothers are the most underated folks out there. Especially Working Moms and Military Moms. On one hand you have the ones who work 8 or more hours a day then come home to cook and clean up after our punk asses not to mention putting up with their Husbands. And come on guys, we can admit we can really suck some time. But we love em and make sure you tell them that as much as possible.
Then you have the Military Moms. Their sons and daughters are a half a world away, fighting in some shithole country or protecting some people who dont even want them there. They have to worry everyday about their babies and if they will ever come home. A satellite call or maybe a few letters is the most contact they get. Remember that next time you rush your Mom off the phone. So make em feel like Queens on Sunday cuz after that its back to dirty socks and dishes. Make sure we let em know we appreciate it.

Ok, im outta here till Monday...gone just like Jacko's carrer....hoohoo..(grabs crotch)...

As the world turns

2005-05-05T00:31:00.000-04:00

So my sister Blog, Film Improper is gone. Unfortunately I couldn't keep up with 2 Blogs especially since the Beef is really my baby. I just don't think I can express my feelings about movies very well anyway. I am an encyclopedia of film knowledge and I will trounce anyone when it comes to movie trivia or any modern trivia really. Jess's mom once read off about 50 questions in a row from the Trivial Pursuit 90's edition and I got 44 right out of 50 before the other 5 people in the room could even answer. Trust me I am not bragging. My current bank account just goes to show you how far that kind of info gets you in real life. I do love movies but as far as writing about them I will not be doing it anymore in the near future. Not that I wont recommend a good film when I see one there will just be no Blog dedicated to my obsession. My dream as always is to make movies not write about them. Onward...

So last week I caught a Virus on my work PC. No, I wasn't on cuminsocks.com or anything. In fact I didn't do a thing. A few of us got it in the company and it slowed everything to a crawl. I was backed up for two days hence when Friday rolled around I had to bust major ass to get all my work done. It was no picnic. At least the companies Antivirus software kept it from spreading to everyone.

So awhile back I mentioned this really offensive T-Shirt site called T Shirt Hell.com I mean these guys have some hilarious but extremely rude stuff. Definitely not for everyone but I applauded them for pushing free speech to its limits. These guys got into so much shit with watchdog groups, the church and everyone one else who voted for Bush. (oops.) Anyway they always fought back and never caved and their company gained a lot of free advertising to boot. Every month they also sent out an email newsletter printing all the hate mail; they received with gut splitting responses. It was all great fun. Well today I got an email from them stating without explanation that they removed about 25% of their shirts. Of course they were all the most heinous ones like "The School Shooting Tour shirts", "The Surf the Tsunami 04 shirts" and the "Arrest Black Babies before they grow up to become criminals!" By the way the owner of the company is BLACK. (They also had an Arrest White Baby one that was funnier) I was shocked quite frankly. I'm still thinking its a joke because if you knew this site and these guys you wouldn't be able to comprehend this choice. If it s not a joke I am worried about how much of an effect the changes in this country are really having. Yeah I know, Arresting Black Babies is very offensive BUT the point is the freedom for them to print and sell and if you're dumb enough, to wear the shirt. I am getting a little worried folks

The state's House of Representatives voted 85-55 to approve a bill that would forbid sexy cheers and give the Texas Education Agency authority to punish schools that allow "overtly sexually suggestive" routines at football games and other events.Im getting real worried.....

Jennifer Wilbanks, the runaway bride is a stupid bitch. If all she did was take off and shut up for a few days no biggie but to call the police and say "some Hispanic couple has kidnapped me!" is fuckin bullshit. She is obviously whacked out and should pay back all $60.000 of the money spent to locate and then make her spend the same amount of time in jail that the searchers spent looking for her. Oh, and make sure she has a nice 400lb Hispanic convict named Chica to keep her company. Did I mention her fiance needs a swift kick to the nuts for staying with her?

Lyndi, oooh Lyndie England. Oh poor Oxygen deprived Lyndie England. Poor hobbitlike little man-she. Oh the one who points out tiny Iraqi penis. You pled guilty but they threw it out. Ohh Lyndie..More Lyndieeee in the news....yipeee.

On a final note. The Marine who was videotaped shooting the wounded TERRORIST FUCKER in a Mosque in Iraq because he declared "he's faking it" then when the mortally wounded INSURGENT SCUMBAG moved he popped a double tap entry to the guys chest. "Now he's fuckin dead" the Marine said. Damn straight he is. I may hate this war and all its bullshit but if you want to be pussies and set up roadside bombs, hide in Mosques and kill civilians then POW. You are now dead, wounded or otherwise. Semper Fi bitches. Can I get a Hooahh?

Killing you softly,
Captain Beeferino

Quickie

2005-04-28T16:46:00.000-04:00

Rough day, major PC issues.

Click on below link to view an ebay auction that will make you smile

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6171209997

peace out

So what is a Republicrat?

2005-04-27T12:10:00.000-04:00

Well its not a very original play on words but it seems to sum up my political leanings. Anyone that has been reading this Blog may be confused at where I stand on certain issues. Yes I voted for Kerry but not because I am a Democrat. I don't dislike Georgie Porgie because he is a Republican and loves God, I hate him because he is an idiot and is a hand puppet for the right. I'm sure he means well but so didn't Bubba Clinton. He just liked getting a knob job while he was doing it. You see strict Democrats and Republicans fall into a few easily discernible categories.

Partisanship:
Democrats hate Republicans.

Republicans think Democrats are communist pig fuckers.

Defense and Law:
Democrats are pussies.

Republicans like to kill murderers and rapists and blow up countries who fuck with us.

Taxes:
Democrats like to create cajillions of useless programs to help the poor then tax the hell out of the poor to pay for it.

Republicans say "Fuck the poor, get a job"

Morals:
Republicans believe that the Lord God is the Higher power and base a lot of their agendas on religion.

Democrats believe that Ted Kennedy is the Higher Power and base a lot of their agendas on him.

It goes on and on....

First I think the two party system sucks. We really need more parties to diversify the issues. Second I agree with a lot of things on both sides. Lets take a brief look:

Death Penalty: Yes I strongly agree with it though it needs some tinkering and must only be used when we are damn sure the convicted is guilty.
Leaning-Republican

Abortion: I do not believe in abortion, I do not support abortion BUT I believe in a women's right to choose. I will not willingly donate money, I will not protest for it but I will never take away choice.
Leaning-So far Democrat I am falling over.

Defense: I am 100% for taking out anyone who poses threats or attacks to our country, our allies or our citizens abroad. I do not whine about civilian casualties, I do not whine about certain weapons or the way terrorists are treated in our custody. If cutting of their hands will prevent another terrorist attack on our soil then so be it. I am all for spending money on defense and having the most powerful army in the world. Leaning: Republican

..on the other hand I am against the Patriot Act, I am against the war in Iraq. I am against expending human life and money on non-threats. Afghanistan was warranted though it really didn't do much except kill some Taliban and scatter Al Queda. We cannot catch Bin Laden so Bush decides to go after the biggest pussy in the Middle East, Saddam Hussein. No WMD, more deaths from FOREIGN insurgents than the entire Iraqi army caused. Silly shit really. Leaning:Communist pig fuckers.

Separation of Church and State: Religion is a right every American has and will always have. Faith is a wonderful thing and I applaud all who follow those paths. Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Bono..whoever. Just don't push your beliefs on me or my kids. Don't look down on me because I don't go to church and don't knock on my door at 2pm on Sunday. You do your thing we will do ours. Now, for the jack ass who wanted "In God we Trust" taken off the dollar bill can go stick his dick in a light socket. Its obvious his only agenda is to make a silly idea public and since he garnered NO support whatsoever even people who work to keep Religion separate were embarrassed by this dildo. Sure we could change it to "In America we trust", in fact Id even vote for that but either way it doesn't bother me. Until they start leading public classrooms in prayer again you wont hear any complaints from me. Oh and by the way, if you don't want your kids to stand up during the National Anthem then you and your little ones can pack up, head over to China and get run over by tanks you stupid anti American, piss on our veterans, vile scum ass, corpse fuckers.
Leanings:Democrats,Republicans, Satanists, Necrophiliacs.

War on Drugs: One of the biggest wastes of time, money and good drugs. First, Pot is such a dumb ass drug I cant even believe its illegal. It doesn't make you violent, its not that bad for you(smoking cigs, drinking alcohol and watching American Idol are worst for your health) and there is no such thing as a "gateway drug". There are "gateways" like bad parents, shitty school systems and poverty but we wont get into that here. Also don't even get me on peer pressure....So putting dumb 19 year old's in jail for 5 years for having a pound of pot just doesn't seem to be working to well. My biggest beef ever is the fact that a lot of violent crimes hold softer penalties than drug offenses, even pot offenses. Its so stupid. I don't have a solution but unless you commit a robbery, run over someone or commit a violent crime (unless its against another criminal*) there shouldn't be any jail time involved. Use common sense. People who sell drugs, sell them to people who fuckin WANT drugs. There are no Hispanic guys hanging out at the playground trying to sell crack to 12 yr olds. That's another Myth of the drug war. Ever see "Reefer Madness?" Check it out someday. Just be sure to get good and ripped before you do.
Leanings:Democrats, High Times Subscribers,Frito Lay Inc.

*I am a proud supporter of Criminal on Criminal crime. As long as no innocents are hurt I believe there should be no penalty for violent felons killing their fellow violent felons. We should even give out prizes, kinda like those Subway stamps you can collect for a free sandwich.

I could go on but I will take pity on my faithful readers. Now you can see how torn I am. Never agreeing with either side, not sure who to vote for, not even sure if I should vote at all. Hopefully some day other parties will grow to where they can launch actual campaigns that stand a chance. Until then we are stuck with pussy, tax and spend, pro-choice Democrats and kill em all, bible thumping, have you heard the word of god lately?, Republicans. God help us all. Oh shit did I just pray??

Ciao

Warning:This Post contains foul language and scat humor involving Republicans. If you laugh at this post you are a communist devil worshipper...

2005-04-27T11:42:00.000-04:00

After reading the below linked Blog, well after the tears from the laughter stopped anyway, I felt so puny in this blog universe. This is simply the funniest thing I have ever read and I silently wished i had wrote it. Also for the weak and proper it contains some VERY graphic language. I think it fits perfectly here at the Beef. Oh, and for the people who do not know who Anne Coulter is, first I envy you and second she is a conservative political author and commentator who uses insult humor to get her tight assed points across. At times in the past I have agreed with her like after 9/11 she said:

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war." Well everything except the convert to Christianity thing.

Then she goes and says something idiotic like:
"Liberals hate America, they hate flag-wavers, they hate abortion opponents, they hate all religions except Islam, post 9/11. Even Islamic terrorists don't hate America like liberals do. They don't have the energy. If they had that much energy, they'd have indoor plumbing by now."

She is a bible thumper, a liberal hater and an all around douchebag. I would pay to see her and Michael Moore fight it out to the death. If Anne wins she can have every American that owns Fahrenheit 9/11 deported. If Moore wins he gets to eat Coulters corpse and shit out her digested remains onto Bill Oreilly's chest, Cleveland steamer style baby! Live on Fox News of course.

Enjoy here http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com/

The Blahs

2005-04-25T09:13:00.000-04:00

Yup, this weekend was a blah. A bust, caca poopoo if you will. Me and the misses havent been talking much lately so its been kinda grim around the homestead. The Red sox lost Saturday night, I drank three bottles of wine and managed to get home around 5 am on Sunday morning. That pretty much took out my whole day. I had a few things planned but all I managed to do was vacuum the bedroom and watch Escape from New York on TV. Yippee. I even slept through Sundays Red Sox game and missed a couple of bench clearing brawls and they kicked their ass to boot. So ho hum, here we are, Monday morning again. The Bosses are away this week so even though they are cool and dont get on my back its a little less pressure around the office. Hope all is well out there in Beefland. Welcome to another week on the rock.

Slacker

2005-04-20T10:32:00.000-04:00

Yeah I know, I have been slacking here at the beef lately. Its been over a week since the last post. I truly apologize to my 2 or 3 faithful readers. It has been a quick 7 days or so. The weather continues to get better here and this greatly improves my mood. Had a great time at Fenway Park in Boston last Friday night with Jess. Besides the fact that the 65 degree day quickly turned into a 43 degree evening all went well. It was so cold I had to track down a blanket for Jess. It was funny, I saw all these people carrying these fleece Red Sox blankets but for the life of me couldn't find any for sale. I finally found a booth where if you applied for a Red Sox MasterCard you get a free blanket. Free! Cant beat that. I wonder if Tyler S. Durden of Wuevos Grande, AZ will be approved for his Credit Card. Either way I got a free blanket and Jess got warm.

So we have a new Pope. He is 78 years old. See you all next year for the next Pope Vote.

That bankruptcy law I brought up a while ago here is ready to get approved. I truly think its going to screw a lot of poor people who have large medical bills. But hey, at least Chase Manhattan, Visa and Walmart will get their money now. After all, they have to make a living too ya know.

So pretty soon you will need a Passport to come back into the USA. So if you go up to Canada or down to Mexico you will need to have a Passport to get back in. There are some border towns, north and south that are none too happy about this. I did hear Georgy Porgie just found out about this and plans on making some changes. It scares me that our President just found out about something that has been in the news for weeks. Someone must have forgot to read him his morning paper.

In California the Governator finally said something that I agree with, He wants to close down our borders and basically stop all these illegals from pouring into our nation. We are already busting at the seams and have way too many internal issues to deal with let alone chasing these people around the desert. I have always held the belief that US citizens should come first before anyone else. This may shock many who know me but I actually sided with Pat Buchanan when he said we should build a wall around the country. I have seen immigration first hand in Boston, in California and Florida. I have met many hard working, legal immigrants that had to wait years for citizenship and I have also known a few fine folks who were denied a Green Card and sent home. Lets close the borders, sort through this mess, deport all the criminals and welfare cases, get the working folk a green card and install some kind of screening and probationary process for new immigrants. I don't just mean Mexicans. I mean ALL immigrants. Why should it be so easy to become a US citizen when it is very hard to move to most other countries. It is a priveledge to live and work in the United States . Just because we have become a bloated, bullying, lazy and jaded country lets not forget the millions who fought and died to make us bloated and lazy. I just don't think that was their original plan.

So they had an election in Iraq. Some guy won. Besides all that nothing has changed. Georgy still has not given any time table for a pull out. Every day we train new Iraqi security forces. Everyday they are killed by insurgents. We have control of one of the largest oil reserves in the world and Gas is 2.25 a gallon. So what exactly are we accomplishing here?

Over 2 years in Iraq

1,562 Dead American Soldiers

12,000 Wounded

20,000 Dead Iraqi Civilians

"Change the channel"- Brig. Gen. Mark Kimmitt's advice to Iraqis who see TV images of innocent civilians killed by coalition troops

On a lighter note, here's a story Fox News deemed important to run on their website.

"A strip club in Washington was raided yesterday. 16 strippers were arrested.
All 16 were accused of violating the local adult cabaret ordinance, some by getting too close to customers and others, by touching themselves in a sexual manner. No accusations were made of prostitution or other sex acts."

Welcome to Amerika folks. This is the country we live in now. These are the people who got George Bush re-elected. These are the people who write "local cabaret ordinances" and waste tax payer money by raiding strip clubs because the dancers GOT TOO CLOSE. These are the people that will get Supreme Court Judges appointed, these are the same people who wrote the Patriot Act. These are the people who will continue to get their way until we all wake the fuck up. We didn't do it last November that's for sure. Call me paranoid, call me a weak kneed liberal, call me an elitist. Just don't call me a Democrat. That would be more insulting than calling me a Republican. I'm a Republicrat. The bastard child of two out of wack parties leaning so far to one side, refusing to budge an inch in either direction.
Look at the fine print folks, read between the lines. Time is running out.

Have nice day! :-)

I'm Retired

2005-04-12T13:55:00.000-04:00

I cant do it anymore. My 30 year old body cannot handle it. As of today Beer and Red Meat are no longer a part of my life. Both had been cut out considerably over the last 2 years but the excess of both over the years has taken its toll. This past weekend A friend and I drove 5 hours up into the woods of Maine to help a buddy move. We drank lots of beer, ate big fat juicy ham burgers and I smoked 17 packs of cigarettes. The destruction that my poor body took proved too much and sent me into a indigestion filled coma for 24 hours. 10 years ago I could have shook that abuse off like nothing. Not today. Not anymore. After a major bender it now takes my body 48 hours to recover. So for example if I get wrecked on Saturday Night, I will not be able to function until about noontime on Monday. This is not good when you have to be at work for 8am. So I have retired. Beer will only be allowed on special occasions such as ballgames, concerts, bar mitzvahs, church etc, and only in moderation. Beef is forever banned. The effect this meat has on my body and soul is unnerving to say the least. Only 2 days of beer and food was enough to blow me up into a gas filled, pasty assed balloon. The horror, oh the horror.
So it is over. Wine and Chicken our now my top menu items. Long live my colon.

I know where I will be in August

2005-04-08T16:29:00.000-04:00

Thompson Memorial Ready
Author Hunter S. Thompson's ashes will be fired by cannon across his American estate, as requested in his will. The bizarre ceremony will take place in August, after a giant cannon has been built and mounted inside a 54-feet tall sculpture of a 'Gonzo fist' - Thompson's trademark and a nod to the 'gonzo' style of journalism he invented - which itself will stand on a 100-feet high pillar. The event will be part of a ceremony to celebrate the life of the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas writer, who committed suicide at his secure compound near Aspen, Colorado, in February at the age of 67. His wife Anita says, "It's expensive, but worth every penny. I'd like to have several explosions. He loved explosions."

Al Gore is My Pal

2005-04-08T13:52:00.000-04:00

Good ole Al. I cant thank him enough for inventing the internet. What a clever guy. So what if he couldn't even carry his own state in the election, which was something like getting herpes from your wife right before she leaves you for the Mexican pool boy. Nothing like having salt rubbed in the wound. But I digress.

Streaming Internet radio has saved my life. Ok, not really but it has sure helped to make the work week more enjoyable. I have lived in three different parts of the USA in the last few years. In Boston, on the gulf coast of Florida and now back in Cow Hampshire. In Boston my radio station of choice was WEEI the great Sports Radio Talk station featuring an eclectic group of fat guys sitting around bitching about the state of sports n New England. In Florida I had Real Radio, another talk station which featured the Monsters of The Midday, a hilarious and edgy talk show that was funny as hell. Though the Monsters rely more on dick and fart joke's they also had some pretty edgy humor, even bordering on racist humor that would never fly up here on the east coast.

So last week I found a great site called http://www.radio-locator.com/ and lo and behold I found both stations are now streaming their shows online. So after picking up a pair of speakers for my work PC I am back in radio heaven. Thanks, Al!

I did a search for the town I am going to in Maine this weekend and it turns out its like 15 minutes from Baxter State Park, the home of Mt. Khatadin, the highest mountain in the park and the end of the famous Appalachian Trail. I have heard much about this famed Mtn. mainly thanks to my cousin Rick's own Appalachian Trail adventure. I wish I would have the time to visit but since my friend is moving there I think later this summer I will get that chance. Unfortunately it is nearly a 6 hour drive. Thank god for my new shiny PSP !! It should help take the edge of the commute.

See ya in Maine! Ayuh.

Breaktime

2005-04-05T13:28:00.000-04:00

After all the negative news and general bummers that have been abound lately its nice to just sit back, relax and enjoy spring. The sun is out, winter is all but gone up here in New England. Nothing brightens your day more than a temp above 50 degrees. Baseball Season began on Sunday night as my beloved Red Sox got pounded by the Yankees. Saw "Sin City" on Saturday, what a great flick that was. I am a Frank Miller fan from way back and was blown away at how true to the original Graphic Novels this film was. Great cast, tons of violence and a truly new way to see a comic book come to life onscreen. Highly recommended for some good gritty fun.

This coming weekend is all but gone due to helping a friend out. He is moving 5 hours into Maine and I will be helping him. That takes care of Saturday and Sunday. No biggie though, Jess works all weekend and I could use a change of scenery. I'm hoping the weather will be nice. No beefs today really, just taking in some fresh air, Sox game streaming on the PC, kicking back waiting to go home. If only life could be as carefree all the time.

The Circus ends

2005-03-31T13:02:00.000-05:00

Terri is gone. She can now rest in peace. Here are some of the reactions by supporters outside of the hospice where she passed away today.

"You saw a murder happening"

"Everybody who denied her right to live are accomplices to murder, and God knows,"

"I'm not believing the report of man,"

"God will raise her from the dead, and all the world will see it."

"It's really sick what we've seen here," a man said then gave the Nazi salute and yelled ""Heil Hitler."

And finally a quote from an intelligent person, one I think anyone on either side could agree with: "I know Terri has a new life, a new body. She's singing, she's dancing, she's praising God."

Amen.

I couldn't help it...

2005-03-28T14:18:00.000-05:00

Attention BeefLoggers:Before reading this post we advise you to go back to the post of "The Sad case of Terry Shiavo", then read the 2 comments posted for that beef then read today's first response titled "Putting the Beef back.." then read this. Then we can all get back to the usual Beef's as we know them.

Sorry. I know I said I was done with this subject but sometimes you have to retort to attacks on one self. Again, regarding my previous Beef on Terri Schiavo's case. Anonymous commented that "You'd make a great reporter for say, The Boston Globe or the New York Times. Getting the facts straight is something with which they struggle, too." So I wrote the previous post to clarify my opinions. Then today I read just one article on CNN.COM and well I got kind of pissed off.Actually I got really pissed. So unless CNN is outright lying and misquoting folks which would open up some tasty lawsuits, lets take a look at some excerpts:

1.Anti-abortion activist Randall Terry, who has acted as a spokesman for Schiavo's parents, Bob and Mary Schindler, said a group in Washington would reach out to top officials and urge "anybody that has guts up there" to intervene in the case.Yup, I covered this guy in my first post correctly.

2.The Rev. Patrick Mahoney, a conservative Christian activist leading demonstrations outside a Florida hospice where Schiavo lives, said he would take his fight to Washington on Monday.Ok, now we have a Reverend yet this is not a religious issue.

3.Mahoney said he'll ask White House and congressional leaders to enforce a subpoena issued by a House committee. The subpoena orders Schiavo to appear before Congress.I said they wanted to wheel her up to Congress didn't I?

4....and the U.S. Supreme Court rejected an appeal of that decision by Republican congressional leaders.No really, its not political, its all about Terri.

5.Numerous state court judges have sided with Schiavo's husband and legal guardian, Michael Schiavo, who says Terri Schiavo is in a persistent vegetative state and would not want to continue living under such conditions. I covered this also.

6.President Bush signed federal legislation on March 21 to move the case from state court to federal court. I guess Georgy doesn't believe the media either.

7.Brother Paul O'Donnell, a Franciscan monk who has been acting as a spiritual adviser to and spokesman for the Schindlers, stepped up pressure on Bush's brother, Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, calling on him Monday to "step in and take custody" of Terri Schiavo.Hey I like Monks! Again we stress that religion and moral beliefs are in no way influencing this case.

8."We're begging, governor: Do something today, now," O'Donnell said. "Don't join the culture of death and be writing this woman's obituary."Ok he didn't say murder..yet.

9.Speaking briefly to reporters Monday, Gov. Bush said, "My heart is broken about this." He said he is "respectful of the judiciaries decisions," but "from a personal perspective it just breaks my heart that we've not erred on the side of life." What personal perspective is Jeb talking about I wonder?

10.Sunday on CBS' "Face the Nation," David Gibbs, the Schindlers' attorney, said Terri Schiavo "is declining rapidly. We believe she has, at this point, passed where physically she would be able to recover. ... Terri has past the point of no return."
Just a few hours later, Terry -- founder of anti-abortion group Operation Rescue -- angrily rejected that, telling reporters Terri Schiavo was "not at death's door." He said Gibbs represents the family "in matters of court" but did not represent them "when he gave that report about Terri." Terry's statement here proves who is really the mouth piece for the family.Hmm interesting fact straight from a horses ass.

11.Terry harshly criticized the governor. "What kind of man sits in the governor's mansion that would let a woman starve like this, who is clinging to life and crying out to be saved?" Terry asked.Is this fuckin guy for real?Jeb did what his brother told him to do. This Terry guy gives pro-lifers a bad name, making them all seem like whacked out religious zealots spouting shit like "crying out to be saved". Is he a mind reader or did God drop him an email? Her parents really let this guy be their spokesperson and expect to be taken seriously?

12.Schiavo collapsed in 1990 from cardiac arrest related to an eating disorder. Court-appointed doctors in Florida have found that she is in a persistent vegetative state, despite arguments from her parents that she is not.Yup, wrote about that too.The PVS is debatable though all the court rulings have eventually agreed on this point.

12.Monsignor Thaddeus Malanowski, aided by the chaplain of the hospice where Schiavo lay, said he "gave her the drop of precious blood on the tongue, so we know she received Christ."
Lets see, a Monsignor, a Reverend, a Monk and a Jack Ass named Terry. This is all coincidence. All these religious overtones are just a fluke. All the bible thumping and fiery sermons are just to help Terri. Its all about Terri. Its all about her getting better and nothing else. No politics, No religion just Terri. Those are the facts right?

Oh, here's another tidbit for ya:Authorities said Richard Alan Meywes of Fairview, North Carolina, offered $250,000 for the killing of Michael Schiavo and another $50,000 for the death of Circuit Court Judge George Greer, who ordered Schiavo's feeding tube removed a week ago.
Did I get the facts wrong on that one too?

Screw you all and your holier than thou bullshit.

I'm done.

May Terri's soul rest in peace and forgive us all for using her tragedy to stand on our soap boxes and to further your agenda's.

Putting the Beef back in Beeflogs

2005-03-28T11:46:00.000-05:00

Two posts ago I went off on the Terri Shiavo case. An Anonymous poster came by and laid a two line rebuttal. I basically did what I had planned on NOT doing here and that was try and mix opinion with too much straight news. I created this Blog to speak my mind and say whatever the hell I feel like saying. Things like the "Pope eats moose cock" and "Homo's should have rights, like the right to die of A.I.D.S. and shut up".

Shocked yet? Gasping for breath or clapping in agreement? I don't believe either of the above statements and neither should you just because you read them here. You either agree or disagree. That is what makes our country so great (at times) is because we have the right to make such asinine opinions like the statements above. What I did on the beef about Schiavo's case was collect all the info I had learned through legitimate and not so legit websites, news programs and discussion groups. then I formed an opinion. What I did wrong was include too much info. What I should have done was post my opinion and why without trying to back it up with facts given to us by sources I cant confirm. Now some supporters of the Beef are screaming aloud right now "WHAT? You write whatever you damn please boy!". Here is my point. People will argue till no end about fact and fiction. You don't even know these days where to get the straight facts. From Rathergate to the anything but fair and balanced Fox News, America has to do there own search for the truth. Eventually it just comes down to forming your own opinion based in what you do know. So, I do know that Terri Schiavo's husband has the legal right to decide to remove her feeding tubes. This is what the courts have decided. I do know that just as many Doctors that believe she could possibly improve have said she will not. I believe her Family loves her and truly believes that she could improve. I also believe that her Husband thinks he is giving her her wish to not live in that state. Though truly speculative I fully believe Terri herself would not want to continue living in this condition. That's my opinion of course but I would stake a lot on it. There is also many people using this case to further agenda's. Politicians, religious folk and the like have rallied around the right to live movement and are using Terri as their poster child. As I said earlier according to CNN.COM in a poll 73% of Americans believe her husband has the right to choose whether to remove her feeding tubes. I'm sure though someone will say that poll is faked or whoever goes to CNN.COM for news is a liberal. Enough about this though. Anonymous helped me learn to cut out the BS and go for the heart of the matter. Thank you and now please go fuck yourself.........:-)

just kiddin cochise! We welcome all Beef here!

Break from Reality

2005-03-24T15:02:00.000-05:00

..aahh it will be nice to take break with an extended weekend. Good Friday, whatever the Catholics think is so good about it, I couldn't agree more. It just means a paid day off for me! Boy do I need it too. What a rotten week for America. Nothing but horrid news stories all over TV. Terri Shiavo, steroids, School Shootings, Child Murder in Florida, Teddy Brushi possibly never playing football again.....I want to puke! Everything has been so negative! So that's why this weekend there will be No NEWS! No NPR, No CNN nothing. I intend to relax fully and keep all negative energy out of my personal bubble! Spring is in the air! That means fresh air, open windows, opening the pool and BASEBALL! I cant wait. I hate winter with a passion but I love spring and summer. Soon the sun will shine and all us freaks who are Bi-Polar or suffer from the Post Football Season Depression Syndrome can rejoice. Out of the cold darkness and into the warm light. I welcome spring with open arms and a unquenchable thirst for.....

"We interupt this sorry attempt at happiness and return to our regular scheduled bitching and moaning sessions and the overall "Fuck everyone, life sucks ranting and raving" of the beeflog. Oh yeah beefhead, look outside, its snowing again!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......."

Aw nuts.

The Sad Case of Terry Schiavo and the Moral Right in ameriKa

2005-03-24T13:17:00.000-05:00

All we have been hearing and seeing on the news is poor Terry Schiavo, mouth slightly agape, eyes staring of into space, at times a possible glimpse of life but mostly nothing. A catatonic stare into eternity. Her case has grown into a media frenzy, with her husband and 73% of the public on one side according to CNN/Gallup and her parents and every right to life person on the other. The facts we know for sure are this:Terry collapsed in 1990 suffering severe brain damage due to lack of oxygen to her brain.The cause of her cardiac arrest was believed to be due to chemical imbalances in her blood (specifically potassium) believe to be caused by her bulimia nervosa. In 1992 a medical malpractice suit was brought against Schiavo's medical care providers. The jury concluded that Schiavo suffered from bulimia, which caused her chemical imbalance and subsequent cardiac arrest and had not been properly diagnosed by the hospital. The hospital appealed, and the case was settled in 1993 before the appeal could be decided, with Terri Schiavo receiving $750,000 and Michael Schiavo receiving $300,000 from the hospital.

After that there are few facts known, a lot of bark but no bite. We can only surmise our opinions from what is presented from her on.We know Terri's husband claimed that on more than two occasions Terri told him that she would never want to live "hooked on machines" and after seeing relatives on their death beds she made sure he promised to never let her become like that. Michael Schiavo has been trying to grant her that wish for 7 years. He waited 6 years to see if Doctor's could do anything to improve her condition. They couldn't and she hasn't. Since 1998 Schiavo has tried to have her feeding tubes removed and allow her to die and move on to a better place. Around this time Terri's parents tried to have a court remove Michaels guardianship, claiming he abused their daughter and was unfit to be in charge of her care. This case was was never heard since it contained allegations that were 12 yrs old. A nurse was even going to testify that Michael abused her in the hospital. They went even as far to suggest that Michael withheld CPR to Terri as she lay on the floor after she first collapsed. A lot of hate, lies and deceit from both parties has fouled the entire affair. One fact remains after all this. According to numerous Doctors and Experts, Terri Schiavo is in a Persistent Vegetative State and does not react to stimuli. So we have Michael Shiavo who in all fairness probably wants to move on with his life, release his wife, grant her wish and move into the future knowing she is in a better place. Then we have her Parents, devoutly religious, convinced that Terri recognizes them and with more treatment will get better.Neither is wrong in their hopes. Terri's Parents spokesperson who just happens to be one of the biggest anti-abortionist's in Florida believes she will get better with time. One wonders where they have been for the last 15 years during which Terri has shown no progress. Granted I am a bit bias here. I fully believe in a persons right to die and I fully believe that if Terri could say one sentence it would be "Let me go." Michael Schiavo gains nothing by his wife leaving this earth. Nothing but closure. I truly believe her parents love Terri and in their faith based beliefs think she could recover but I think its more than that. They claim it is the ultimate sin to kill and if their daughter is removed from her feeding tubes then I guarantee you will see "murder" in quotes all across the nations news papers. Maybe Michael was a scumbag. Maybe he hurt his wife or maybe its just a story concocted by her family to help them gain control of Terri's destiny. We will never know because Terri cant and will never be able to tell us. Either way it does not change the fact of her condition, one I might add that was partly brought on by her own bulimia. How do you think Terri felt about herself before the collapse? She was sick, had a serious eating disorder and known physciatric issues. She was troubled to say the least and now her parents think she is happy in her current condition? If she had the will to think it I doubt this to be the case.
The last Doctor to briefly examine Terri for her parents had this to say:"In summary, Terri Schiavo demonstrates behaviors in a variety of cognitive domains that call into question the previous neurological diagnosis of persistent vegetative state. Specifically, she has demonstrated behaviors that are context-specific, sustained, and indicative of cerebral cortical processing that, upon careful neurological consideration, would not be expected in a persistent vegetative state. Based on this evidence, I believe that, within a reasonable degree of medical certainty, there is a greater likelihood that Terri is in a minimally conscious state than a persistent vegetative state... [and] in my judgment it would be wrong to bring about her death by withdrawing food and water." This Doctor of course was brought in by Terri's parents and as usual, Doctors called in by them concur that she is not in a Persistent Vegetative State as Michaels Doctors all agree that she IS in PVS. This obviously is representative of some of these Doctors moral opinions more than their scientific knowledge. Some of Michaels Doctor's are known to support Doctor assisted Suicide as some of Terri's Parents Doctor's refuse to perform abortions and other specific "morally disagreeable" services. This is a no win situation for Terri, but the above Doctor's quote is interesting though. If you had asked Terri fifteen years ago if she would want to live "in a minimally conscious state" how would she have reacted? This was a woman who was overweight growing up and suffered from bulimia because of this. As horrible as this sounds if Terri had one look at herself in this condition I think her answer would be obvious. "Let me go."
Terri is still the only victim that remains here. I would think her husband is long past the point of grief as is her family regarding her current condition and the sad hand she has been dealt in life but that was 15 years ago. It is now the fight for the right to live or die and the moral issues that are dwarfing Terri in this hotly debated issue. Georgy Porgie signed a bill that was rushed through Congress to keep her alive. Congress actually wanted to wheel her up to Washington so they could spout their rhetoric in front of the TV cameras like they recently did with Major League Baseball regarding the steroid issue. Porgie's brother and Florida Governor Jeb Bush even tried to circumvent the courts when he produced a Doctor who had spent 90 minutes with Terri and proclaimed "I felt Terri's presence in the room" Its quite ironic that politicians who are passing legislation to curb Medical Malpractice suits and cut Medicare, the two things that have KEPT TERRI ALIVE for 15 years are now rushing to her aid with Bible in one hand and sound bytes in the other.

It looks as I write this that Terri will soon get her wish, the wish Michael claims anyway and she will be leaving us. Though starving someone to death sounds horribly in-humane it is the only way to let her go. It would be the choice I would make. I feel for her family and for her husband and I can only hope when she is gone that it brings closure.
We know it wont though. Debate will rage on. Her family or spokespeople will accuse the State of "murder" and their defamation of Michael will continue. Michael will continue to profess Terri's wish to be let go if she was ever hooked up to machines. I'm sure Michael will re-marry and we will see them all endlessly on Oprah, Larry King etc. Only one voice wont be heard and that will be Terri's. Hers was silenced 15 years ago. This is a good time to believe in a better afterlife because after the circus that has revolved around her for 15 years she deserves better. I think she will get it.

Toxicity

2005-03-21T16:28:00.000-05:00

The toxicity of our city, of our city
New, what do you own the world?
How do you own disorder, disorder,
Now, somewhere between the sacred silence, Sacred silence and sleep,
Somewhere, between the sacred silence and sleep, Disorder, disorder, disorder.
More wood for their fires, loud neighbors,
Flashlight reveries caught in the headlights of a truck,
Eating seeds as a past time activity, The toxicity of our city, of our city!

These lyrics from the great band "System of a Down" carry too literal of a meaning today. The shitplant or Waste Water Treatment Facility for you pc folk, next door to my workplace has caught fire and may have spewed toxic chemicals into the air. They evacuated 100 homes in the area yet here I sit getting ready to leave in a half an hour. Hopefully I do not inhale some toxic gas which cause my kin to be born with a third nipple and a cleft upper lip. Anyhoo it could be worse. I sit at a PC all day and talk to shop owners and manager's wondering where their products are. Not too bad. I could be eating seeds as a past time activity. Just when you think you have it bad...

Also this Friday is Good Friday. Its good because I have it off!

Holding my breath in NH....

Capt. Howdy

Smiles and Cries

2005-03-18T10:35:00.000-05:00

I cried like a baby on my way to work this morning. I have no idea where it came from but it did. Latlely I have been having these vivid dreams where people and events from my past have been popping up. So much so that I have been tempted to start penning my auto-biography simply for personal therapeutic purposes. I'm driving down the interstate and I am rehashing some days from my childhood, mainly the time right before my folks got divorced and I remembered one of my favorite memories of my Father. Nothing major, just a little thing I remember and always made me feel good about it. As I was thinking of this a huge wave of emotion washed over me and I lost it. No sobbing or wailing just a damn good cry. I haven't had a genuine, unforced cry in years, and it felt great. I feel better then I have in days, shit weeks. This may sound crazy but I highly recommend a good cry at least once a month for better well being. They say the power of laughter is un-measurable and I believe that also but damn I feel refreshed. What a strange but oddly fulfilling Friday morning. Bring on the weekend then, I feel positive changes coming my way.

Why getting away with Murder is sometimes good.

2005-03-18T09:52:00.000-05:00

Calm down, I'm not condoning murder. Lets take a look at a few murder trials, mainly Robert Blake's trial. The former "Beretta" star and wonderfully creepy guy from David Lynch's utterly wacked out "Lost Highway" was just found Not Guilty. He most likely murdered his wife but he got away with it. Now this is no O.J trial where the evidence was more than enough to convict but whether you agree or not the mostly black jury got their revenge for Rodney King and the scores of other African American's who have been beaten, murdered and never saw justice done in their cases. Unfortunately Nicole Simpson,Ronald Goldman and their loved ones had to suffer for the disgusting abuses of power Law enforcement and the Justice System has rought upon the black community. But I digress.
So in Blakes case I was glad he was found Not Guilty. Not because his wife was a philandering floozy, someone who used sex to coerce wealthy famous men to bed her and get her pregnant. Not because she bilked these men out of their money and swindled other innocent people through lonely heart mail ad's. Though not a model citizen she didn't deserve to die. The fact that I am glad he was found innocent is because the case was weak and barring the fact that he had motive they had nothing on him. I am a big supporter of people who are falsely accused and convicted of crimes they did not commit. Now this isn't one of those cases but I still have a fear of being charged with a crime because "it just makes sense that he did it".
Take a look at Scott Pederson. This piece of shit killed his wife and unborn child or at least had something to do with it. He's gonna fry and good riddance BUT take a look at his trial. This guy was convicted before he stepped foot into the courtroom. Read the trial transcripts, all they convinced me of was that he was a scumbag (cheating on his wife) and he went fishing the morning she disappeared in the same bay they found the body. Now we know enough about the case to pretty much seal his guilt in America's eyes BUT if I was an impartial juror I would have had to vote Not Guilty based on what was presented in the courtroom. You cannot convict someone on what you read in the paper or because "he showed no emotion in court". If you want to be scared about convictions based on mass hysteria and the media go ahead and type the following into a search engine: McMartin Trial
Fells Acre
Kelly Michaels

Scary stuff. It gives me Nightmares. Now I know the Blake trial and especially Pederson are in another category all together then the above mentioned ritual abuse cases but we have to be careful and keep an eye out for the paranoia and mob mentality that can start to snowball and ruin people's lives. Well we are on the subject I recommend two films if you are interested in false accusation's and the wrongly convicted. They are "Indictment" starring James Woods and the Documentary "Capturing the Freidmans". For more about these films head over to my sister Blog Film Improper. Have a good weekend and be safe.

Hey ho, lets Blog!

2005-03-16T11:40:00.000-05:00

So I found myself typing away about movies again and decided I want to keep this forum on a pretty basic premise. Me beefing or just talking about my day or whatever the hell I want. So I created Film Improper. Its another Blog of mine completely dedicated to Film and occasionally TV. You can find it under my profile if you're interested. Either way the beef continues here...

My cold is just about gone now. It was really annoying more than anything else. One wonders how the human body can produce so much phlegm. I have been regaining strength and even the snow outside has stopped falling for the time being. Spring just might be creeping its way around the corner anytime.

Also kudos to Lord Duke. Dating an exotic dancer must come with wonderfully exciting benefits. Bask in the glory, you deseve it.

Martha Stewart is home now.She is quite upset though because the electronic ankle bracelet she has to wear is chafing. Yes it seems when Martha is doing her palates or whatever the hell she does to get back her dazzling figure (?) the ankle bracelet is quite bothersome. Cry me a fuckin river. Go make napkins out of pubic hair or something. This is what the mainstream news is reporting these days. Boy it must be a slow news day. Hmmm. Lets see what's going on today..ahhh front page on CNN.COM. Here is some real news finally. See if you can guess which ones are fake and which ones are real!

Third-grader commutes to school by mule!

Atlanta Subway Trains Get Flatscreen TV's!

The NEW SAT' tests: Kids say "They are Long!"

No Soldiers Die in Iraq!

Bush may allow stem cell research to help cure "them sick people"!

If you guessed that the FIRST THREE are REAL and the last TWO are FAKE then you are right! If you won then we will send you a 25% off coupon for all Gas purchases which should bring down your cost of gasoline from about $175 dollars a gallon to a reasonable one hundred and thirty one dollars and 25 cents a gallon! We here at The Daily Beef are so glad this war in Iraq has brought down the cost of oil!**

**Prices may vary depending on what area you live in and what kind of mood Opec is in.
***I think Blood is actually cheaper than Oil right now. How Ironic.

bye.

Yesterdays Post Today

2005-03-11T12:06:00.000-05:00

Im sick as a dog. I wonder about phrases like that. Are all dogs really that sick? Are dead people that sleepy? Ive never seen a three dollar bill but if I do i certainly wont make any assumptions about its sexuality. Im sick. Blogger is all messed up, dont know if I will be able to post. I am tired and i am going home to sleep.

green death Nyquil dreams here i come.......

Plastic manhood, Chasing a dream and the pressure is on.

2005-03-09T10:30:00.000-05:00

Wow what a fast few days. I feel like a slacker for not writing since Friday. This weekend was a busy and fun one to say the least. Spent all day Saturday shopping overpriced stores in Nashua NH and finally got myself a firearm! Ok not really but it feels and looks like the real thing anyway. Ever since I was a kid I have been obsessed with guns. Not because I want to go kill someone or rob the 7-11 just because I have always had a cinematic imagination and nothing brought to life a scene from "Die Hard" like a cold piece of metal in your hand. Shit if I was in High School right now the FBI would be tracking me just for typing that sentence. So I finally bought myself an Airsoft pistol. What is airsoft you ask? Well its basically a BB gun that shoots hard plastic BB's instead of "you'll shoot yer eye out" steel ones. The thing about Airsoft is that the guns are modeled after the real thing. Most are even fully trademarked by Sigma, Smith and Wesson and like mine, Beretta Firearms. Not to mention they are exact replica's, real enough looking to get a face full of buckshot from Officer Powell if you were to waive it around in public. Yeah I know, most of you are saying why not buy the real thing? A few reasons. One, guns are expensive and two they kill people. With my little plinker I can feel like a man, look like an armed man but cause no serious threat except for the welts I raised on my leg when I shot myself to test the strength. Ouch. I know you're all saying "How Silly" but everyone has their strange passion. Mine is real guns that aren't real. I will always have a real 12 gauge hidden away for self defense but when it comes to a 1300 dollar Glock 17, Ill take the one for $50.

Now Amazon.com is hosting a film contest. Recently I was trying to work on a movie for Fangoria, the great Horror magazine but their deadline was fast approaching and to be honest I still am lacking equipment and time. Just for those who don't already know I am a huge film buff and ever since I saw "The Road Warrior" with Mel Gibson on our huge rented VHS machine in 1982 I have dreamed of becoming a Director. Over the years I managed a dozen or so silly skit-films with relatives and friends, a couple of my own sex videos and lots of unused footage of people partying and acting like fools. Not much of a resume. So when I saw that amazon.com was running a 7 minute film contest I said to myself "Shit, 7 minutes? Who cant pull that off!" Quentin Tarantino's words echoed through my brain. After winning the Independent Spirit Award for "Pulp Fiction" he told Michael Moore in an interview "My advice for filmmakers is this. Make your MOVIE! Don't wait for better equipment, more money or better actors just do it. And do it by the time you turn 30!" Well here I am, 30. No money, shitty equipment and no actors. Sounds like the perfect time to start. Now all I need is an idea.

I was so thrilled to see Lord Duke post new rants to jigglebox.com!!I was quite flattered that he mentioned my silly blog also. God, I feel like the pressure is on now! Anyone just tuning in I recommend going back into my archives here and start from the beginning.

All you poor souls out there that owe money better move to Canada. Congress is passing a bill making it harder to claim bankruptcy. We all know that the system is abused but mostly by big companies and scumbags who lose civil suits and try to weasel their way out of it. Republicans blocked an amendment that would have blocked ANYONE who had a judgment levied against them to not be able to use bankruptcy as a way out. They claim it is an abortion issue because pro-lifers who shoot Doctor's and blow up clinics are often sued and could get out of paying civil fines because they claim Bankruptcy. Senator Orinn Hatch said "It was a ridiculous amendment, their has never been a case of an someone using Bankruptcy as a way to get out of Civil fines, abortion related or otherwise" So Hatch, what your saying is the amendment is silly because what it blocks doesn't exist? So why the hell do you care if its in the bill?? Would it hurt to be there in case something like that comes up?? Fuckin dumb ass. Heed my words this bill will hurt the poor and turn Bankruptcy courts into collection Depot's for fuckin Visa. Next stop, Debtors Prison!!!!

I love to hear these chucklhead Congressmen on NPR as I drive home. They are about as smart as those kids who shot up the Italians trying to get that commie reporter out of Iraq. What a cluster fuck our country is. But I will repeat, Its my country and my clusterfuck too. I still have faith. Some day things will get better.

Its Friday, Counselor

2005-03-04T16:37:00.000-05:00

Counselor

That single word was typed in the center of a blank stationary page by HST right before he took his own life. His son Juan, directly after finding his father's body went outside and fired three shotgun blasts into the cold Colorado air. What does this all mean? Is it a sign? A special message only those lucky enough to have the "Gonzo" spirit could understand? Well I will have all weekend to ponder this new info because it is Friday and I am ready for my days of rest. Maybe the Temp will rise above 30 and my balls can thaw out. I leave you with that mental picture to ponder.

Talkin Sports

2005-03-03T11:13:00.000-05:00

So what's been going on during the last few days? Lets see. In sports the Patriots have released Ty Law, Roman Phifer and Troy Brown. First, I saw the Ty Law thing coming. We cant afford him and we did win our last 9 games including the Super Bowl without him. I think some of us felt he would sign back for less but I guess not. Phifer's release is understandable. He's an older veteran who's playing time is diminishing but he was a great part of the team. I really hope he retires and maybe joins the coaching staff. Now this Troy Brown thing really chaps my ass. Troy has done nothing but bust his ass for our team. He came into his own 4 yrs ago and became a standout wide receiver for us. He was a major reason we went to the Super Bowl all three years. This year the guy played on defense for us!! And he was pretty damn good too. I really hope they find a way to bring him back. Id really hate to see him go. Now I just read Joe Andruzzi, an excellent veteran O-lineman has left to go to the Browns. I hope they know what they are doing down in Foxboro.

Enough about Football though. Baseball will soon be upon us! If anyone out there would like to donate around $900 it would be appreciated. Thats about what it would cost for 2 opening day tickets for Jess and I to go see the Red Sox and the Yankees. Checks are welcome:-)

Peace

Post Oscar Monday

2005-02-28T12:01:00.000-05:00

They gave out the little gold men last night. Congrats to Morgan Freeman who readilly deserved any Oscar for all the wonderfull performances he has given us over the years. I was very bummed that Marty Scorsese lost AGAIN. This is the man who has brought us some of the greatest films of ALL TIME: Taxi Driver
Raging Bull
GoodFellas
The Color of Money
The Last Temptation of Christ...

I have yet to see "The Aviator" or last nights winner "Million Dollar Baby" so i cannot argue Best Picture winners but hey, I love ya Clint but Scorsese got shafted. Again. Also Jamie Foxx was excellent in Ray and deserved to be awarded as he was.

I watched the film Troy last night. It was pretty good overall. It actually stuck to the story of Troy and Hector and Achilles pretty well. Speaking of movies I have decided to keep track of all the films i watch during the year so i can have my own awards at the end of each year.
Yes, I do have too much time on my hands.

We are expecting a big ass snowstorm here tonight. 8-17 inches or more of the wet heavy stuff. I may very well be hom tommorrow! Word around the office is if its too much we staying put! Sweet.

Congrats to the Kansas City police for capturing the BTK strangler. He was a notorious serial killer from the late 70's and early 80's. The idiot got clean away but decided to start writing to the police again this year. Now he's busted. Good riddance.

125 die today in Iraq.

Ii didnt want to end the day on a bad note but im hungry and Im going to lunch! peace out.

Bush speaks and more on Hunter.

2005-02-23T14:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Georgy Porgie was in Europe, skillfully trying to mend fences he broke when we invaded Iraq. Germany and the Frog's especially were upset that we would invade the country where they had made so much money breaking embargo's and UN sanctions. Even though I still do not support the war in Iraq I could care less what the Germans and the stinky French think. I apologize for my third grade racism but I have a deep seated hatred for the French that I do not feel like going into here. Anyway back to our favorite idiot savant. When Bush was asked about our intentions to invade Iran he said that thoughts of an invasion were "ridiculous!," but "all options are on the table." Huh?

Today he tried to clear this up but made it even more muddy. He added,"Iran is not Iraq. Diplomatic methods are just starting." No shit Iran is not Iraq. Iran poses much more of a threat than Iraq did. Militarily and Humanitarian. Iran currently ranks as "Not Free" by Freedomhouse.org. Iranians cannot change their government and do not vote for the head of the country. Women are extremely limited in their roles in government and are not allowed to leave the country without the husbands permission. Of course they are not allowed to show their faces in public. This is true to for our pals in Saudi Arabia also, another country with horrific human right conditions and ranked as "Not Free". Did I mention Iran they has a great Nuclear Weapons program and a hell of an army? They have also told us to "fuck off" in not so many words. Oh well. There's always Syria.

Also the Religious Right of America, those fine folks who showed up to the polls in droves are now looking for their piece of the political pie. Today on NPR, Pat Robertson made it clear that he expects the Republicans to do everything in their power to get right wing, conservative Judges elected to the Supreme Court. The objective of course is to overturn Roe VS Wade among other things. If they fail in this Robertson will have a hard time "using my TV Networks to raise more money for the party."
He also feels that Judges should be voted in by the public not appointed by Legislator's. He may think jerking off is a sin but he's not stupid. If there was ever a vote on abortion in this country we pro-choicer's or (baby killers as the religious right calls us) would be trounced. Not because the majority of the country is pro-life but because the right would be out in force for the vote again much like this past election. Choose or lose? Damn straight.

Last but not least a few more words on Hunter. As most of us thought the old guy was suffering quite a bit in his last days. The following from CNN.COM adds to our suspicions:

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- Journalist Hunter S. Thompson did not take his life "in a moment of haste or anger or despondency" and probably planned his suicide well in advance because of his declining health, the family's spokesman said Wednesday.

Douglas Brinkley, a historian and author who has edited some of Thompson's work, said the founder of "gonzo" journalism shot himself Sunday night after weeks of pain from a host of physical problems that included a broken leg and a hip replacement.

"I think he made a conscious decision that he had an incredible run of 67 years, lived the way he wanted to, and wasn't going to suffer the indignities of old age," Brinkley said in a telephone interview from Aspen. "He was not going to let anybody dictate how he was going to die."

This last part made me smile:The family is looking into whether Thompson's cremated remains can be blasted out of a cannon, a wish the gun-loving writer often expressed, Brinkley said.
"The optimal, best-case scenario is the ashes will be shot out of a cannon," he said.

I wish I could be there for that.

2005-02-23T11:55:00.000-05:00

All heroes die hard..

When the going got weird..

2005-02-22T09:28:00.000-05:00

Still bumming about the good Doctor. The post I wrote the day after his death was my first reaction to his death. Now that I have had the chance to research his final days the suicide is coming more into focus...Yesterday I posted a CNN.COM article here about HST. Today my cousin sent me a much more appropriate and thoughtfull article from SALON.COM and I have replaced it here. This also helped me in understanding HST more and helped to answer alot of the questions I had. We still may never know the full reason why he took his life but as the article states "he was in the game for a very long time.." and he played it like a champ. He lived more than most of us will ever dream and for sharing it with us we thank him.

Lets keep his memory alive and continue to spit in the eye of normalcy and not live life the way everyone else thinks we should. We shall return to your regular scheduled Beef's tommorrow.

The Duke of Hazard Hunter S. Thompson blasted through the world like a big-finned rocket of defiance and revulsion. He leaves a big burned hole and a safer, duller world.

From SALON.COM written by Cintra Wilson
Feb. 21, 2005

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

Last night, the night that Hunter S. Thompson was apparently shooting himself (an exit somehow befitting the self-styled anarchy and insouciantly godless iconoclasm of the man) my friend "Dirty Bobby," a magazine photographer, and I were in the kitchen of my house discussing a road trip he'd taken on a journalism assignment in Nevada. Suffice to say there was a lot of crystal meth involved, a rental car with a V-8 engine, a half-naked, semi-conscious female basketball player from UNLV, and a remake of an automatic Nazi "grease-gun," which was fired repeatedly out the window at 80 mph.
It was the first time in my life I have ever considered the possibility that Dr. Thompson's work might have had a questionable impact on the youth of today. This was certainly not the first of such stories I'd heard.
While there is a lot to be said for this kind of self-consuming, skid-marks-on-the-lawn-of-the-establishment behavior, most of the kids who imitated Thompson didn't really get that he wasn't simply depraved for the sake of depravity. Thompson may have seemed to be merely flailing violently among the vultures and wolverines wafting up from the spilled ether in his Buick floor mat, but he actually had a point: He was searching for the American dream. The twisted style in which he conducted this crusade was a reflection of how twisted he felt that dream had become.
If artists are the uninsulated emotional conductors for the rest of society, Thompson was a one-man power grid of paranoia, revulsion and defiance. He was a canary in our collective coal mine, an ulcer on our societal tongue, a warning. He was physically a big and strong enough man to recklessly embody the idea that we should all Beware of Where We Are Headed. A shuddering red flag.
Alienation was a big part of Thompson's voice, but not (I believe) because he wanted to be alienated. HST wrote very movingly about participating in the thrillingly inclusive group energies of the 1960s. He just didn't really fit in very well to anyone else's scene. He was a bit too charismatic, clean-cut and bizarre on his BSA, with his cigarette holder, to blend in with the Hell's Angels. He needed to be the center of attention too much to comfortably share the spotlight in rooms where other luminati of the day were having their moments -- rock stars, politicians, the various and infamous. Thompson was trapped, somewhat, in the limbo between Journalist and Personality: the neither-nor underworld of the rock-star scribe, who wields a little too much personal gravity to yield the focus to a subject other than himself.
But nobody wanted Thompson to stop talking about himself -- we loved living vicariously and seeing the world through his yellow target-range aviator lenses. He was our reluctant superhero of ultra-decadence. The contexts in which Thompson was placed (in a younger, finer world, when Rolling Stone had the balls and decency to trust the untrustworthy for the sake of Thor's whipsong, faxed to the editor on paper napkins in scrawls illegible) were really just an excuse to hear more of him, commenting on anything. It wasn't that his subjects were so terribly important, or even timely -- his deadlines came and went -- it was the verbal synapse-connections -- poison flowers that could only blossom from an overheating brain: Teeth like baseballs, eyes like jellied fire ... shoot the pasties off an 8-foot bull dyke and win a cotton-candy goat ...
Sure, the man had been dehydrated since 1971; he needed electrolytes and proteins and Thorazine and antidepressants and probably something for his ailing joints because he probably had no cartilage in his knees or hips at all, and a whole host of other difficulties that comes of applying a lifelong scorched-earth policy to your mind and body. Thompson was old, and life had finally become sufficiently uncomfortable for him to check out.
I think it is improper and disrespectful to whine about this suicide. Thompson was in the game for a very, very long time, and I think it is a safe bet that he was never comfortable. This was a profoundly tortured guy, the smoke from whose ears always made a whole lot of exciting colors that we all enjoyed. It was a great brain to watch but you wouldn't want to live in it, I'd aver. He was a butch motherfucker and I'd bet cash he stuck it out significantly longer than he really wanted to. Let's face it, HST was not one for the nursing home -- he'd have just stolen everyone else's barbiturates and hurt people trying to arm-wrestle.
May the kindly trickster gods collect you, Hunter Thompson, and drive you to where the buffalo roam, where your mind can unspool itself forever and your spirit can go on groping unsuspecting tits and trashing hotel rooms. You have earned it, Golden and Immortal Son of Classic Letters. Rest in Whatever You Would Prefer to Peace. We, the filthy and leaderless children who cherish your legacy, salute you, and will honor you with every bullet fired out of our car windows toward the unmarked desert sky.

Selah.

We will miss you Doc.

2005-02-21T10:11:00.000-05:00

"Try and sell this on Ebay you fucking swine!"

The Doctor is out.

2005-02-21T10:10:00.000-05:00

After a busy and tiring weekend this was not the best news to start the week with. 67 yr old Hunter S. Thompson of Woody Creek Co. put a gun to his head and took his own life last night. His son Juan found the body. Suicide may seem fitting to people who did not know much about Hunter but to me it doesn't fit at all. Granted, I am no Thompson expert but he is well known for being fearless and brave, handling anything the pigs or the opposition could throw at him. Booze, Drugs, Rape and assault charges couldn't even put a chink in this gonzo Captain's armor. Or so it appeared anyway.

I was first introduced to the wonderfully world of "Gonzo Journalism" by my cousin Rick. GJ is this wacky 1st person writing style of streched truth's and warped observations that bridge the gap between fiction and straight news. That's how I looked at it anyway. Rick had published some 'zines like Mental Floss and The Gonzo Gazzette with obvious influences from Thompson, Kerouac and Wolfe. These were my first glimpses at this writing style. When I finally picked up a battered copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas I was well primed and ready to find out what Gonzo was all about. Rick handed me the book and said something like "Its your duty to read this. Everything will come into focus afterward. You will be hooked." I sat in that cabin in the woods of Northern California and ate up that book. It was the funniest, freakiest and wonderfully written adventure I had ever read. No dragons, no wizards, no clowns who lived in the sewer just two crazy guys, one a sports writer the other a 300 Lb Samoan Attorney with a bag of drugs and a pint of devil ether. It made me all of a sudden want to rent a big red convertible, grab my cousin and all the booze, drugs and grapefruit and hit the road on our way to the city of lights. We didn't do it that day but we have more than made up for it with many gonzo adventures. At times I even went as far as to make sure we dressed and acted the part right down to the Hawaiian shirts,grapefruits and Rick's long cigarette holder. Our Daytona adventure I think was the closest we ever came to pure madness. Pure Gonzo fear and loathing. These were great times and I think of them often.

So why did he do it? Maybe within a few days we will find out he had terminal Cancer or Parkinsons. Maybe Alzheimers. I don't know. Thompson just didn't strike me as the type to take the back door out of town. I wont even start to analyze suicide. I used to rant against it, thinking it the utmost highest rank of cowardice. I said the same things about medicating ones self to escape reality. Now I sit here and can honestly say medication saved my life. As far as suicide, these thoughts soon change after people you know personally take their lives. You start to see things a little different. You Try to look through their eyes and understand. Sometimes you do.We probably will never know why Hunter left us. People have made hiding pain an artform.

One time I asked my cousin what he would say to Thompson if he ever met him. He told me that he didn't really want to meet him. Like a lot of us we have this fear of meeting someone we look up to or who has influenced us so much and when we do they disappoint us. Maybe they turn out to be an asshole, or rude or have bad breath. Who knows? I think I know what he meant. We have all met Thompson. We have met Duke and Oscar and Steadman. We've met Nixon and Humphrey and rode with the Hells Angels. We shot TV's at Owl Farm and drank rum and harassed the local pigs. We have met all the wacky people that he wrote about and we see them everyday. We live in the same world as he did except it took a special pair of eyes to see it the way the Doctor did. He will be greatly missed.

5 hours later...I went on EBAY to see how bad the vultures are picking apart the good Doctor's still warm corpse. First thing I notice is a used paperpack of the movie tie-in of Fear and Loathing already going for $22.00 plus $5 shipping with 11 bids. A quick look on Amazon.com and you can have the same damn edition brand new for $9.00 My favorite of all is a 4" x 5" decal of the Gonzo fist. It has a current bid of 55 DOLLARS! For a sticker a guy made on his PC for 5O cents.

Pure Madness. Just the way he liked it.

Part One

2005-02-16T11:19:00.000-05:00

I hate spam. Not the delectable lunch loaf that is worshipped in Hawaii but the stupid email that fill's up our inboxes. I know we all hate it but sometimes they can be funny. I never even look at the shit unless it tricks me into reading it. This one was disguised as an email from a reputable online store. When I opened it it was just some bullshit for CHEAP SOFTWARE!! But at the bottom of some Spam is where you find the funny stuff. All these keywords jumbled together, some kind of spammers code I guess. Here is the CHEAP SOFTWARE's one:

Use both say together what round. Serve live, farm began say.Side, industry, right point. Wheel receive, earth. Don't tradeforce. One bird hear. Milk mountain, far came cat part. Inchvoice but. Vary hunt allow forest, job boy. Turn, port home run.Degree to, friend each, add. Them, power paint. Thought governsoil measure, word. Lie ship fight space ball, heard.

What the fuck?? Haha. I love it. I think for now on I will post random Spam codes. Hopefully these are not some kind of CIA or NSA special hidden communications between undercover agents deep inside enemy territory. If I disappear seek out Dr. Gonzo in the desert. When you find him tell him the password is "Schnecke!". He will know what to do.

More later.

one more..

2005-02-15T18:14:00.000-05:00

You Are the Very Gay Bert and Ernie!

Two grown puppets living together, sleeping in the same room?
They've even got coordinating striped shirts!

What Gay Childhood Icon Are You?